In Secret
by diddly day
Summary: Quall! New chapter! Squall and Quistis have a secret. What could it be? What will happen if anyone finds out?
1. Gloves

_**In secret**_

_**by diddly day**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. It doesn't belong to me.**_

_**A/N: I usually write Resident Evil fics. And those are still my number one priority. I know those of you who've read them are like "what the heck? Final Fantasy?" But I just got an idea and had to write it down before I forgot. I promise, no more posting until the last chapter of Sometimes they Come Back is up.**_

_**This is Quall. (Dodges tomatoes and rotten fruit) I understand that most of you do not like this, but at least give it a chance. If you don't like it, I'll never write a Final Fantasy fic again. There are a lot of memories in this chapter. That's what the italics are for. The narritve is in the normal format.**_

**_And I also know that if I try and change the format, some of the words get jumbled together. No biggy, I will go through and correct it. But if you see one or two words that look "likethis" don't freak out. I'm correcting those right now._**

_**Chapter One:**_

He stared at the wine in his hand as the party raged on behind him. It was hard to believe that two years ago, he had danced with her. That dance, it had changed his life. It made him believe that he could do anything. She made him feel like he could fly. Their journey together had been nothing he had ever experienced before. Love. He had always heard that word. But he never really knew what it meant. Rinoa had shown him what it was like to loved and be loved.

Now, as he watched her dance, he realized that it had simply not been enough. For her or for him. She danced with him, the man he had learned to forgive for stealing his love's heart. Seifer moved with Rinoa with elegant grace. Surprisingly enough, Squall Leonheart felt nothing. It was as if he was watching shadows. She had left him, and he was now happy.

Taking a small sip of his red wine, Squall turned back to the bar. He hadn't always been happy. No, there was a time when he was a wreck. He simply didn't think life would go on. That he would never love again. For months on end, he would lie in his room and stare at the ceiling, wondering how she could have done this, how could she have left him? He knew he would never feel that same again. A small laugh erupted in his chest. How wrong he was.

Reaching up, he grasped the chain around his neck. Pulling up the silver ring that lay hidden underneath his shirt. He gazed at the small ring on the chain, a small smile flickered across his features. He was going to see her tonight. For the first time in three weeks, he'd get to see her face. Three weeks, that is a long time to be separated from your wife.

Wife. Squall's smile broadened. She had just gotten back from a mission. He had been afraid he would never see her again. They had made plans to see each other tonight. However, they were limited to show their affection, after all, no one knew they were married. No one with the exception of Irvine and another witness they had been able to get. To be wed in secret was not an easy thing to do.

He stroked the ring with love. Excitement washed over him. Closing his eyes, he placed the glass to his lips again. Imagining he was kissing her full lips. Running his fingers through her golden hair. A chill ran down his spine. Had it been the wine or the memories? Thrusting his hand into his pocket, he pulled the note that she had slid under his dorm room earlier today.

"Meet me at the bar tonight." It read.

Her usually neat handwriting was scribbled across in an untidy scrawl. He could tell she had written it in haste. People would've gotten very suspicious if they had seen Quistis Trepe, ex- Instructor, standing outside his dorm, sliding a note underneath his door. Looking back over his should to insure no one was watching him, he folded the note and slid it back into his jacket.

It was surprising how so much could change in just two years. All that short time ago, he had been alone. No more than a year ago, he had been with Rinoa, and this year he was married to the last person he would've ever thought he could fall in love with. Quistis was . . . she was an incredible woman. He was surprised he had never seen it before. He admitted he had no feelings toward her whatsoever before or after he had been involved with Rinoa. Nevertheless, it had been funny how she crept her way into his heart, an inch at a time. The most humorous thing was, he knew she hadn't meant to do it.

Although it wasn't until Rinoa had left him, that he started to get paired with Quistis during almost every mission. As everyone could've guessed, he didn't care. He didn't give the slightest damn who was his partner. He just wanted to do his job. Quistis, of course, knew that, and out of respect, kept her distance as much as she could from him. Squall had been grateful for that. Perhaps that was when those feelings had been planted.

When she did talk, she talked about the mission. He has always known she was a gifted worrier, but he had no idea how determined she could be. Observing her efforts out on the battle field, he grew to admire how hard she worked to get her job done, and to protect everyone else who was fighting with them. Including him. Those tiny planted feelings of gratefulness soon sprouted into ones of respect.

_She had shielded him outside of work as well. When their party would set out the tent for the night, she would make sure everyone was safe and comfortable. She was a natural mother at heart. On one particular cold night, Squall had been foolish not to pack an extra quilt. Waking up in the dead of the darkness, his body racked with shivers. He felt so frozen, that even his soul felt the chill Leaning over, he whispered in the dark._

_"Quistis," he poked her awake with his index finger._

_"Mmm?" It was so dark, and he was happy he awoke the right person._

_"Do you have any extra blankets?" Trying to keep his voice steady, not too show how icy he felt. She was silent for a few seconds, and then heard her whisper back._

_"Yes, I brought one. You're quite lucky, you know." _

_He felt warmth envelop him, and after muttering a quick 'thanks' fell into a deep slumber._

_That warmth and ease of the night was soon tainted the next morning. As he awoke, the early rays of the sunlight gleamed through the tent. Looking over at Quistis, his heart stopped as he saw that she lay next to him. Her body shivered as she hugged herself, trying to keep warm. There was no sight of a quilt wrapped around her body. The realization hit him. She had not brought an extra quilt. She had sacrificed hers to let him be a little bit more snug while she suffered the rest of the night. After she had risen, as they made breakfast, he approached her._

_"Why did you lie to me last night?" he demanded. Quistis raised her eyebrows at him._

_"Excuse me?"_

_"You said you had an extra blanket, but you didn't. Instead you gave me yours. You must've been freezing," he softened his voice a bit. He could already tell she wasn't pleased._

_"I don't know what you're talking about. You probably dreamt it." _

_With that, she flashed him a quick smile and turned away._

But he hadn't dreamt it. He was sure she was trying to make her random act of kindness a sort of cloak-and-dagger deed. Wanting to feel irritated, he tried, but his efforts were in vain. For as hard as he tried to be annoyed, he found he couldn't. If anything, his respect for her grew. Never did he think that she cared that much for him. He'd known she was attracted to him, but to sacrifice for him?

She was loyal. Quistis was known to stay firm and never waver in her integrity. No matter what the situation, no matter what the punishment, she would not let go of what she thought to be right. He always noticed how virtues she stayed, how she would never reduce to anything less than what she wanted to be. Fine qualities needed in a worthy partner.

Squall found himself liking her company after a while. To the point that he hoped he would get paired with her when they left on their missions. He found things out about her that he had never known before. She liked to laugh. Her sense of humor wasn't of outgoing insanity, (Zell) or spunky goofiness (Selphie). With wit as sharp as her looks, she defiantly had a more refined humor. When she laughed at his sarcasm, he often felt quite. . .flattered. His respect grew into a deeper friendship.

Everyday he would watch Rinoa and Seifer in the cafeteria as they talked sweetly, feasting on their food. At first it had been unbearable. But slowly he got to the point to where the pain would still be there, but his heart didn't break every time he saw Rinoa and Seifer's eyes flicker at each other. From time to time, he found that his eyes would sometimes wander to the woman sitting behind them. Her blond head gazing at her book, turning the pages carefully with one gloved hand. Of course, that was only sometimes.

When did he start feeling those sparks between them? Squall wasn't quite sure. He hadn't woken up one morning bursting with the realization that he loved her, or that he was even attracted to her. She was beautiful, yes, but he couldn't feel any attraction there. So when was it that he started to feel it? Was it that night in the tent? He didn't think so. Maybe it was during one of their late night discussions. One of the many times she saved his life, perhaps?

Possibly. However, Squall did remember a particular memory when he undoubtedly was aware of those rapt feelings of infatuation.

_He had horribly cut his hand on a blade, causing the thick blood to run freely down his arm and soak his clothes a deep red._

_"Here let me see," Quistis said as she sat him down on a nearby log._

_"I can't believe I was that careless!" Squall lectured himself._

_"Hush!" He noticed that she started to pull off her gloves._

_"You want to get blood one your hands?" He questioned. She turned her mouth town quickly in an odd wince._

_"I've got poison on my gloves, would you like me to infect you?" He chuckled as she carefully made sure that she did not touch any contaminated area of her leather gloves. His laugh won her a giggle of her own._

_"Where'd you get the poison? Was it that plant you touched?" he asked, referring to a plant she had anciently brushed against a few hours before. She nodded._

_"Give me your hand," she demanded quietly._

_He obeyed. Extending his arm toward her. He was suddenly aware that she had never touched him with her bare hands before. He was even more aware of her delicate fingers softly grasping his wrist. Her touch was like lighting flashing through his skin. He drew in a sharp breath of pleasure._

_"Does that hurt?" she questioned, her eyes darting to meet his eyes. Those blue eyes, he felt like he was drowning in them._

_"No," he responded, his voice sounded so far off. He wasn't sure if he had said it out loud, or in his mind. He must've said it out loud, for her eyes wandered back to his hand again._

_Quistis continued to keep his hand steady. Bringing the wet cloth and wiping the blood off his fingers. Her soft hands gliding up and down his arm, cleaning his wound. He was quite surprised with how gentle she was. Her smooth palms intently bandaging his cut. Each touch of her skin against his was like electric bolts. The bolts flew to his heart, causing it to beat faster and faster. He began wondering what it would be like to hold those sweet hands. What it would be like to kiss them._

_"Are you cold? You're shaking." Her voice cut through his mind. Springing his neck up to look at her. He shook his head. Quistis bit her bottom lip in anxiety. She netted her eyebrows together._

_"I think you've gone into shock," she continued. Standing up, she walked around him and casually placed a blanket on his shoulders. Professionally, she proceeded to pull the ends of the quilt around him. He felt her sweet breath on his neck. He leapt to his feet, springing away from her._

_"I'm going to bed." _

_his voice came out more rough than he had meant it to. When he did dare turn to look back at her, he saw her sitting on the log, staring at the ground. Her expression was a mixture of confusion and sadness. Her mouth turned down in a slight frown. The cold stab of guilt pierced his heart._

Never, in his life. Not even when he was with Rinoa, had a simple touch affected him in such a way. Every beat of his heart reminded him of what is was so rapidly pulsing for. For her. She had made him feel that way. Closing his eyes, he fell into a light sleep. Dreaming of a place where he felt like that all the time. And for once, that place wasn't in Rinoa's arms.

Still, he would watch at the cafeteria. He watched until the pain slowly started to drift away. He watched until his eyes permanently found their way past Seifer and Rinoa. To Quistis, reading her books. Sipping her drinks with those cherry lips. The pain was gone but instead, had been replaced with desire for his old Instructor. He gazed at her as she stared at her books. The way her lips moved when she took a sip of her drink. A smile would light up her face as she read something that humored her. Even the way she shifted in her seat from time to time was enough to keep in hypnotized. He couldn't help it, he was enchanted.

_"Awe man! You're not watching those two again are you?" Zell said as he sat down next to Squall. Zell nodded over at Rinoa and Seifer. The pair that Squall had completely forgot was there._

_"Oh! Uh, yeah," Squall lied. He looked down at his uneaten food. He didn't want to tell him he had been goggling at Quistis._

_"Look, you've got to get over it! I know you loved her. But if you love her, then you would want her to be happy. Look at them, doesn't she look happy?" Squall lifted his eyes but not at Rinoa, where Zell was looking. His gaze was fixed on Quistis._

_"Uh huh." Just then, Quistis chuckled at her book. "She looks very happy. She looks gorgeous."_

_"There ya go!" Zell exclaimed as he reached over and grabbed some of Squall's food. "Congratulations, buddy. You're on your way to a twelve step program of getting over Rinoa. I promise, by the end of the year, you'll be Rinoa free or your money back."_

_"Thanks." _

_Squall looked back at his food again. He wasn't hungry. It was hard to eat. It was hard to sleep. He had an odd feeling that he wanted something, but he didn't know what. There was a hole deep in him. He wasn't complete._

_His eyes found their way back to Quistis. The hole filled up, only little bit. Before he had time to look away, she looked over in his direction. Their eyes linked. Quickly, he turned away. Ashamed he had been caught._

_"I'm full Zell. Dig in." Squall stood up and before Zell could ask where he was going, he was out the door._

_He placed his forehead on the wall. Blood pumping though his body. Just a look. She could get his blood pumping by just a natural look? No, there was something in that look. Something in her eyes that passed between them. The realization hit him like a million tons. He wanted her. He needed her. Ignoring it as best as he knew how, it broke. He was filled with a hunger to hold the rustic curves of her body against his. To kiss her full lips and sweep the hair away form her face. He wanted to make her skin flush with his lips and his touch. He wanted to make her feel the way she made him feel._

Of course it wasn't love. It was just a crush. That's all it was. A small crush that made him a little flustered. If he didn't give into it, these feelings would go away. He'd be back to normal. Soon he would be back missing Rinoa and he'd have his life back. But is that what he really wanted? Yes. Yes, that's what he wanted. All he had to do was keep his distance from Quistis.

And on their next mission, it was the first time that he found himself not wanting to be paired with her. He did not want to be distracted, and he knew that if Quistis came, that's what exactly what would happen. Naturally, she was sent to go with him. Just his luck.

_"You okay? You seem more distant than usual," she whispered to him. He averted his eyes, focusing them on the horizon. They walked in perfect rhythm._

_"I'm just tired."_

_"Oh," she didn't press it any further. She kept it a personal mission of hers to stay out of his way._

_The mission had gone as expected. Very few wounds. Quistis had gotten a slight gash on her leg. Nothing too serious. Squall tried to brush his worried feelings aside. He failed, of course. They sat later that night, after the party had gone to bed, in front of the bonfire. Squall snuck a sideways glance at her. He observed the flickering glow of the flames shimmering on her soft skin. His eyes fell to her bandaged leg._

_"You . . . you should get that checked when we get back," one of the few words he said at her at all that week. She turned her gaze toward him. The blaze danced in her eyes._

_"I've had worse," she raised her eyebrows at him. "Why do you care all of a sudden?" He looked away._

_"It just . . . looks like it hurts," he glared at the fire again._

_"You should get that checked." he saw her point at the small scrape that lined up parallel to his hairline._

_"It's nothing." he sighed._

_"Looks like it hurts," He shot her a stare and saw the corners of her mouth twitch. The faintest shadow of a smile flew across her features._

_"Out on the battlefield all day, not a scratch. Then I act like a fool and brush my head against a tree." He brought his fingers up and traced his scrape._

_"Don't touch it," she reached up to pull his hand away._

_Only for an instant did he feel the soft leather of her glove graze his hand. Acting before his brain had time to register what he was doing, his fingers wrapped around her wrist. He felt her flinch in surprise. His heart began to hammer in his chest, as she always made him do. Their eyes found their way to each other. Her long lashes drooped._

_"I. . .I'd better go to bed." He felt her start to pull away from him. His grip tightened ever so slightly on her._

_"Don't," she froze. Her eyes found the fire, looking anywhere. Anyplace that he was not. "Don't go." Her head shot in his direction._

_"Squall . . . " she began, but no more words left her mouth. His eyes traveled to her hand._

_"Why do you always wear these gloves?"_

_"They keep my hands clean," she answered softly. "They keep them warm." _

_He gently grabbed her index finger and pulled the glove off slowly. She inhaled and he sat the glove down next to him._

_"There are other ways to keep your hands warm." He felt hypnotized. He usually never acted like this. What was she doing to him?_

_His fingers entwined with hers. He felt their pulses run together. She let him turn her hand anyway he wanted. He traced the lines on her palms. Her long nails that she hid under that mask that he called a glove. The white, clean tips he smoothed his fingers over. Placing their palms flat, he raised them to the firelight. The sight of her creamy skin against his tan made him shiver. To touch them wasn't enough, his lips needed to feel them._

_Closing his eyes, he ran the point of her fingers across his lips. He slid them down to her palm and let himself taste some of her warm skin. His mouth wandered to her wrist. The sensation of her small veins under his mouth dove him crazy. She was now holding his head in her hand. His cheek pressed against her palm._

_Squall lifted his head stared into her eyes. She looked shocked. Shock with a slightest hint of yearning. He knew she wasn't allowing herself to give into her hunger. He on the other hand, had opened a gate. All of his lust, thirst, desire was now flooding out._

_Grabbing her other hand, he pulled the glove off. Now he held both. Two matching beautiful hands. One pressed against his cheek, the other held tightly in his fist. He snaked his hands up her forearms. Holding her elbows. The sleeves of her shirt under his fingers. Both of her hands now cradling his head._

_"Squall," she murmured._

_Eyes locked on the delicate hollows of her neck. He brushed his lips against her collarbone. She took a deep inhale. Running his mouth across her throat, she groaned. The vibration under his lips made him smile. He brought his face up and kissed her jaw. Breaking away, he stared down at her. She had her eyes closed. She was drinking him in. The sensation of her chest heaving against his._

_Then he did something he had always wanted to do. Gently, his fingers swept away a few loose strands of golden locks and caressed her cheek. She opened her eyes slightly. Running his thumb down her lips, they parted ever so slightly._

_All of the moments now coming down to this. He could feel her hands pulling his head toward her. Like a magnetic force, he couldn't stay away. In that instant, his rough lips met her soft mouth. Fireworks combusted and he saw stars. Never did he know that a kiss could be like this. Something erupted in his chest. He felt pure joy. The hole in his heart close up completely as Quistis wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer._

_The fire cracked and the logs popped as they kissed under the dark sky. Lips twisting, tongues dancing. They absorbed one another. Her soft lips tugging at his. Hands dancing through his hair. Creeping down his back. He had what he wanted. His lungs grew tired. and soon he was forced to pull away. Eyes closed, she pressed her face against his._

_"Why?" Her breath tickled his ear._

_"I don't know," he admitted. He didn't know why he felt this way. "I just know what I want." _

_He felt her pull away. Her arms still around him, she met his eyes._

_"What you want," she repeated. He nodded. "So this means?" _

_He didn't know. Did he have her? Did he love her? Maybe they could just see what happens. After all, it was just a crush right?_

No, that's not what happened at all. She kissed him goodnight and went to bed. They didn't speak for the rest of the mission. But when they got back to the Garden, he found her late in the library and kissed her like he never kissed Rinoa. She became his medicine. When he wasn't with her, he felt sick. But when she was with him, everything was okay.

_"If the Headmaster finds out that two members of SeeD are together . . . " she warned._

_"I know, one of us will have to leave the Garden." That is what they were ultimately afraid of. Things like this got complicated and caused problems._

_Squall shivered. When he had finally passed his exams, he had signed a contract. It was mandatory for everyone who joined SeeD to conform to a pledge. Quistis had singed it long before him. The contract simply stated the essentials for being a member. He had agreed not to disclose information to any other Garden about his daily activities. Not to act in riotous manners in which to embarrass the Garden in any way. Also not to elude, fabricate, or abuse any responsibilities that a soldier, such as he,were to undertake._

_And, of course,any memberof SeeD were now strictly forbidden to pursue any form of romantic relationship with another soldier of the same establishment. Attachments of the sort could lead to lack of focus, judgment, and safety of a cadet.._

_That was the problem. Once you joined a Garden, they owned you. At least until you were done with your duty. And anyone who was caught violating the contract, were not only stripped of their rank, but one, or both members were dishonorably discharged and sent away from the Garden. For good._

_Now, for love, it seems like small price to pay. However, the stigma of being a dishonored ex-SeeD was quite humiliating, and even worse, prejudice. Unlucky men and women who were in that situation often found it hard to get work. Their families, ashamed of their disloyal behavior, exiled them in hopes to keep honor to their family name. _

It was all very unfair. But that was the way life was. And two members of SeeD could never be. Squall and Quistis, had both breached their agreement. Quistis, at one time, and dated Seifer, but he had not been a member of SeeD in over a year. He had talked Cid into setting him free of his calling. And merely took his place as a student-teacher to aid others in their study to become famous warriors.

Like he once was.

But, unlike Seifer, Squall needed this job. As did Quistis. They couldn't afford to stop their employment. So much of the Garden depended on those two. There was only one position in which a person could keep their power and paycheck, without having to stay as a SeeD officer.

And that was the position of an Inspector. A rank so high, Balamb had not admitted any of their own cadets as Inspectors in years. It was an Inspectors job to enforce the law on any officer who might be abusing their power. Whomever was excepted, had to be extremely trustworthy and loyal. As Balamb's internal affairs relied so much on those qualities.

The only one who even came close to qualifying for that job was Quistis. And it was going to be a long time before she got promoted and became Inspector Trepe.

_"So what are we going to do?" he thought about her question._

_"Well, I suppose that we'll just have to make sure no one finds out." she looked perplexed._

_"I suppose." This was just a fling, after a while they would get bored and then either he or she would break it off_.

Again, he was wrong. Instead of things getting boring, they became more thrilling. No one knew of the deep conversations they held during their alone time together. Or the slick glances they shot during their missions, or at lunch. Not a single person was aware of the hot kissed they shared in the dark of the hallway, before saying goodnight and separating for bed.

Squall thought about pushing her away when he found that he wasn't getting bored with her. He was afraid. Feeling things he had no name for, it scared him to think of what kind if effect she had one him. She was wrapping him around her finger, Squall wasn't sure if he hated or loved that idea. But yet every time he thought of breaking things off, he would get a terrified aching. Just the thought of letting her go was enough to keep him awake at night.

A more terrorizing thought penetrated him mind, even more so in his heart. He couldn't turn back. Now they had reached to point of no return. They had come to far and Squall knew he couldn't let her go.

What if she didn't want him?

The most horrible thought of all.

That was when he started watching for signs that perhaps she was getting bored with him. Squall never thought of himself as a paranoid man, but he found himself jumping at the slightest things. For instance, it bothered him when she wasn't always in a cheery mood. The slightest hint of a frown mad him nervous. It was about that time that he got an idea to show her that he still wanted her, or, in the worst case scenario, make her want him again.

_That night he brought her to their old classroom. Everyone had gone to bed, except the two._

_"It seems like forever ago that I was up here teaching." Quistis's gaze sailed around the room._

_"Yeah, it seems like forever ago I was sitting in the back, sleeping," he flashed her a charming grin._

_"Haha," she rolled her eyes. Her face grew serious. "Did you really hate my class that much?"_

_Squall looked down and sighed._

_"No, my mind was just somewhere else." Quistis nodded and pressed her lips together._

_"So, uh, why did you bring me here?" she smiled at him and raised one eyebrow. Folding her arms, she gazed at him over her glasses, keeping that sly grin on her face. "I have a feeling it isn't to reminisce."_

_He found himself returning her smile. He nodded over to the desk. "Look over there."_

_She followed his gaze until hers rested on a small bottle of wine that was placed on the desk. Two clear glasses sat beside it. Looking back at him, her eyes sparkled like the deep ocean. Her lips spread, and she grinned so wide that her white teeth shined._

_"What's all this?" She waved her hand at the desk. The smile sill plastered to her face. The image of awe and surprise reflected in her eyes. Squall shrugged his shoulders._

_"Well, I just thought we could be alone for a bit." He took her hand and led her over to the wine. "Just us. No sneaking around. You know, a nice evening." She eyed him up and down with fake suspicion._

_"Okay, where's Squall and what have you done with him?"_

_"Come on," he laughed and placed a soft kiss on her hand._

_"I'm sorry, it's just . . . this is so unlike you." Her eyes trailed to the hand he had just placed his lips upon. "But I like it."_

_"I like it too," he smiled._

_Grabbing the bottle, he pulled the cork out, filling up her glass. The red liquid flowed from the bottle to the glass like a crimson waterfall. She grasped it and put it gently to her lips. Leaning forward, he poured himself some wine. Before it even had a chance to reach his mouth, he threw a look over at Quistis._

_It struck him just how beautiful she was. Taking soft sips. The way the light hit her soft skin. How she closed her eyes as if she were kissing her wine. He watched the lines in her throat flex with every sip. She held herself so well, even when she let her guard down._

_He had spent most of his life with her. And the feelings he had for her now, he knew he couldn't go back to being her friend. Certainly, he wouldn't bare being on bad terms with her. She was apart of his life now, she was his life. As sappy as that sounded, it was true. He was hers now. She had him completely to lose her to anything would be unbearable._

_The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them._

_"I love you." _

_Even though they came out of nowhere, it struck him that he meant it. Any such words had never been so honest in his entire life._

_She immediately stopped sipping and shot him a sideways glance. The glass still at her mouth, just not drinking. She stared at him for a few seconds, wanting to see if he decided to change his mind. Squall thought for a second if he did, but no, his answer was still, most defiantly the same. He loved her. He loved her more than he had ever loved anyone. Quistis's face grew very serious and she sat the glass down on the table._

_"Do you?" she didn't dare meet his eyes as she spoke. He understood. After all, he had never been one to tell that to someone._

_"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," he made sure he wasn't to sound angry. Of course, he wasn't angry at all, but he had a tendency to give off that impression, even when he didn't mean to._

_"You're sure?" their eyes suddenly locked. "I don't mean to sound rude, but you're sure this isn't some way of getting over Rinoa?"_

_He was somewhat taken aback. She always had been very careful not to mention his ex. To see that she was talking about her so freely now was a little shocking._

_"I can see why you'd think that," he sat his wine down next to hers. She bit her bottom lip._

_"You do?" He nodded._

_"Yes, I do," he stated calmly. "I didn't think I could ever love again after she broke it off. I swore I would never let myself become attached anyone else. It hurt too much. It hurts when they break your heart."_

_"I know," she sighed._

_She broke her gaze from his and looked back at her wine. A sudden memory rushed through his mind. He heard his own voice, talking to Quistis. He was telling her to go talk to a wall. A sudden jolt of guilt flew through his body._

_"But I was wrong," he whispered. Walking closer to her, he was sure he was so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. She still avoided his eyes. "I did fall in love again. But this time I fell hard. I fell so hard that it made my me realize that what I felt for Rinoa was just puppy love. She's happier with someone else, and so am I."_

_Her eyes finally met his. His lips drawing closer to hers, they came together in a slow, tender, yet deep kiss._

_"I guess the real question is," he continued, "do you love me?"_

_He felt her hands grasp his shoulder and pull him closer._

_"Yes," she soughed. "Of course I love you." With that she pulled him in again for a deeper kiss. And he accepted without objection._

Their feelings admitted. Squall suddenly felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He didn't have to hold anything back from her anymore. He didn't worry about things going down the drain. Now, he wouldn't have to pretend that he didn't care if she broke things off. She knew he loved her, of course he cared. And best of all, she loved him. He knew that she hadn't changed her mind about wanting to be with him. He could breathe again.

Still, no one knew. He was starting to get the suspicion that Zell knew. Sometimes, during lunch, Zell would start to walk up to him during lunch and ask him questions about Quistis. Squall was a bad actor, and either would start to fluster, or blush.

But that was simply the way she made him feel. She could get him to fluster and blush. And it wasn't until long that idea's and concepts of marriage started to take over both his desire and mind.

The music of the ball brought him back to the present. He found himself daydreaming about Quistis. And he still couldn't believe that the dream of making her his wife had become a reality. Who said dreams can't come true?

_**To be continued . . .**_

_**A/N Edit: Alright, first and formost. Since I have gone all the way to chapter nine, I think it's very clear that I am planning on finishing. Secondly, tell me what you think! I'll be happy to see what you like!**_


	2. Cups

**In Secret  
**

**by diddly day  
**

**Disclaimer: They're not mine, don't take my money.  
**

**A/N: Flashbacks are in italics. Something new I'm experimenting with.**

**Chapter two  
**

_The dark crimson splattered from her dark lips. It was hard to breathe. She couldn't believe it. This was something out of a book. She didn't think it would happen to her. Yes, she knew it would happen someday, but for it to approach so soon? The red liquid trickled from her mouth. She brought a weak hand, sweeping drops away from her chin. A cough erupted in her throat. She felt Squall's hand on her back.  
_

_"Are you okay, Quistis?" his nervous voice brought her back to reality.  
_

_"Yeah," she gasped between heaves. "It just went down the wrong pipe."   
_

_Still tasting the cranberry juice that she was once savoring in her mouth. That was, before Squall asked her that shocking question. Looking down, she saw the droplets of her drink that she had sprayed from her lips, now splashed on the floor at her feet. She snapped her head over in his direction.  
_

_"I take it that's a yes?" he asked hopefully. Quistis shook her head to make sure she heard right. Squall, however, had taken that sign differently. Quistis was still trying to get the juice out of her lungs, making it impossible to tell him otherwise.  
_

_"Oh."he sounded disappointed. "So that's a no." Quistis shook her head again. This time the action was contradicting his suspicion.  
_

_"No. . . . that's not it. I was just thinking." He sighed out of relief. She again, cleared her throat and spoke. "Your wife?"  
_

_"Will you be my wife?" saying it a second time made her once again feel the fire embrace her.  
_

_"Is this some kind of proposal?" he nodded. "Sorry, that's kind of a stupid question. But you're talking about marriage."  
_

_"I know."  
_

_"You want me to be your wife. That means you'll be my husband." Again he nodded.  
_

_"Yes, I still know." He stretched his hand out and grasped hers. "That's what I want. That is, of course, if you'll have me." Her hand wrapped firmly around his.  
_

_"You know I'll have you. No matter what." she smiled at him. "I'm just afraid of what will happen if I say yes."  
_

_"What will happen?" Pulling her closer, she pressed her body against his.  
_

_"I might lose you." Surprisingly enough, Squall laughed at her comment. Stepping away from him, his hands shot out and enfolded around her waist. This time, he held her to his chest.  
_

_"Even if Cid did take you away from me, I wouldn't let him. I'd follow you. No matter where you'd go." Dipping his head, he began to kiss her neck. He could feel her throat expand under his lips as she gasped.  
_

_Her knees suddenly became weak. Clinging to his shirt, she fought to ignore those wonderful tingles he was giving her. Just ignore them long enough to get her strength back. He must've gotten the hint, considering the fact he pushed her gently against the wall. His mouth tasting her flesh. Roaming over across her throat, over her collarbone, trailing up the to her ear. Squall always did this to her. He made her drunk with craving for his lips to be pressed over hers.  
_

_She loved him, and to be his wife would've been the greatest complement she could ever have. He had just kissed the patch of skin under her ear when she exhaled those wonderful words that in the future, she would never regret saying.  
_

_"Yes." His mouth left her neck. The cold air rushed passed where his hot lips had once been. It made her shiver.  
_

_"Yes?" she heard him pant. She opened her eyes and gazed at him.  
_

_"Yes, I'll be your wife." Quistis had seen him smile many time over the past few months, but the way he beamed at her now was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen in her life.  
_

_"We're getting married!" a small giggle escaped her as he shouted in triumph. He kissed her passionately. In that kiss she realized how her life was going to change, for the better.  
_

_**I I I**_

Where was she? Squall shifted on his stool. He wanted to see her. The bartender was starting to look annoyed at how slow he was drinking his one glass of wine. But Squall didn't want to be too drunk when he finally saw Quistis tonight. Yes, they had not seen each other for three weeks. But Squall realized that it had probably been six weeks. Six weeks because of the mission they had stuck him on right after his wedding.

Squall sighed. Looking back, he was lucky that their wedding had gone as well as it had. They had used Irvine and his friend as witnesses since they were from another Garden. He remembered how she looked as they said their vows. The way she kissed him when it was over. The way Irvine not believing that the pair had fallen in love.

_"You two!" He howled. "Of all people to get married. You two would have been the last couple I would've bet my money on!"  
_

_"Just don't tell anyone, okay?" Quistis had begged. Irvine crossed his heart.  
_

_"It dies with me."  
_

So far, he had been good on his word. Squall hoped that not a soul knew of what happened in that church, aside from the people who were in it. After all, they had gotten married on their lunch break. The rest of the day had been torture for him. The one thing he wanted, the one thing he couldn't have. All he wanted to do was kiss her until he was in a coma.

Later that night, she met him in his small dorm. He could tell she was nervous. He was too. She trembled when he wrapped his arms around her. Whispering soothing words in her ear, he began to kiss her. Kissing her in a way that would drive him mad. In the dark of his dorm, on a night that to everyone else would've seemed like an average evening, Squall made love to his wife for the first time. It was the most marvelous thing he had ever experienced. Sadly, since then it had been the first and only time they were able to spend that wonderful time together.

Mission's had torn them apart, making it difficult for him to spend even a second with her. It was almost as if fate didn't want them to be together. That, of course, was a ridiculous thought. They were meant to be. But he had almost changed his mind on one occasion.

He had just gotten back from a three-week mission. Not a second to breathe before he was pulled into the office.

_"You're sending her on a suicide mission!" Squall shouted at the Headmaster. Cid raised his hand to silence him.  
_

_"It is dangerous, yes. But it's not suicide. We do, however, risk losing our SeeD officers in every mission we accept. This one is a little bit more risky then we like, but Quistis Trepe is an excellent officer. We wouldn't send her if we didn't think she could handle it." Cid explained.  
_

_"Then send me. I'll go." Cid laughed lightly.  
_

_"I would if I could, but you just got back. And I'm afraid it's against policy to send you on a long mission right after you got back from one. We don't want our officers keeling over. That is why we didn't let Miss Trepe come with you, we were saving her for this."  
_

_"And if she dies?" Squall almost spat. Cid shrugged his shoulders.  
_

_"That is a risk that Miss Trepe is willing to take. I've already asked her if she'd do it, and she's accepted." Squall put his hand over his eyes.  
_

_"Of course she did. It's her duty." When he put his hands down, he saw the Headmaster looking at him suspiciously.  
_

_"You seem awfully attached to Miss Trepe. I also got that same vibe from her. I asked if she'd help us with our next calling, she said yes, but not without a hint of regret."  
_

_Squall avoided his eyes.  
_

_"Is there something I should know?" Cid asked.  
_

_"Are you implying something?" Cid didn't answer Squall's question. "Why did you bring me up here anyway?" He blurted out, changing the subject. Cid folded his arms and stared at him.  
_

_"I've asked that Miss Trepe recount to you when she gets back."  
_

_"If she gets back." Squall interrupted bitterly.  
_

_"And your job is to write a report on how she did." Cid ignored his earlier statement. "Yes, I'm asking you to evaluate her."  
_

_"But she's my partner! Isn't that a little odd?" he was starting to feel rather irritated with his Headmaster.  
_

_"You are also a commander. That is your job. I'll expect your report a week after when she gets back." Squall was about to protest when Cid silenced him again. "You are dismissed." he said calmly.  
_

_She was already gone by the time Squall got back from Cid's office. He had hunted for her all over the Garden before he finally gave up and decided to chance it and ask Zell if he knew where she was. He had met him in the hallway outside of the library.  
_

_"Sorry man, you just missed her. She left about a half hour ago. She didn't look to happy when she left. I asked her- What's the matter? Why are you frowning?" Zell stopped and stared at him.  
_

_"Oh, I just needed to talk to her." Squall headed into the library, found a small corner where no one was around, and sat down with his head in his hands.  
_

Call it what you want. She was on a suicide mission. She was asked to escort a very powerful community to a haven. And if anything were to happen to them (which was a great likelihood) She and her parties were to act as body guards, A.K.A. human bulletproof vests. There was an immense chance that he would never see her again. They had hulled her off before he could even say goodbye.

The next three weeks were hell on earth. Sometimes, as pathetic as it sounded, he would sneak into her dorm and just sit there. He would lay on her bed and inhale her scent. In a very unusual way, it made him feel better. It made him feel as if she were right there, lying next to him. He would close his eyes and imagine their wedding night. He would remember the way she kissed him. How her every touch made him come alive. And then he would pray. Pray that she would come home to him.

Then this morning. On the two-year anniversary that he had danced with Rinoa, she came back. Talk about irony.

_"Hey, Squall! The team just came back today. I think you can talk to Quistis about whatever you were gonna talk about." Zell came and told him in training.  
_

_Needless to day, he dropped everything and ran out with Zell. Zell and he stood out over the upper hallway, looking out over the first floor. They stared out as the party marched along the hallway. Two sharp looking young men leading them, then Selphie, skipping along swinging her head from side to side.  
_

_Then there was Quistis. Her whip hung off her belt, grazing down her khaki pants. Her hair pulled back with a few strands falling about her face. She looked weary and dirty. The hollows of her cheeks more visible than usual. Her arms loosely hung as she walked in long strides. He then noted the brown shade of dried blood on the neck of her clothes.  
_

_"Look up at me." he whispered so low that Zell couldn't hear. She seemed to, because at that moment, she glanced in his direction. Their eyes linked, only briefly. Quickly, she looked away and ahead of her again. Except this time, a small smile played on her lips, and she seemed to walk a little taller_.

Never again, would he let her go on such a dangerous mission. Now he sat at the bar, the party becoming a hit. All of his memories with her came down to this. He was ready to make new ones with her. All she had to do was meet him here. He heard someone walking up beside him.

"Is this seat taken?" Rinoa asked behind him. Disappointed, he looked back up at the pestered bartender.

"Yes, I think it is. Is that right Mister?" asked the bartender. Squall nodded. Rinoa didn't seem surprised. Instead she walked by him, not sitting on the seat, but standing next to it.

"How are you doing Squall?" she asked politely. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Quite good."

"Whom are you waiting for?"

"Just a friend." He met her eyes and smiled a friendly smile at her.

"You seem well." she observed.

"As do you." She nodded and smiled again.

"How come you never dance at these things? You always have to be forced. I had to force you last year, and the year before that." He laughed at this. Rinoa seemed taken aback with his chuckles.

"I never really did like to dance. But I always enjoyed watching other people dance."

"Would you like to buy the lady a drink?" the bartender interrupted.

"No, I'd better get back to Seifer . . . I mean, uh, never mind. Anyway," she continued hastily. "take care Squall. I'll see you around."

"Bye." He turned back to his drink.

She had been pleasant, as always. But he was greatly sad that it wasn't Quistis. The aching he was feeling started to become unbearable. Strangely enough, the emotion didn't hit him until after he talked with Rinoa. That was very odd. He wasn't sure why. But he knew that if he didn't see Quistis now, he'd lose it before the end of the party.

Someone else came up behind him.

"Can I sit here?" He knew that voice. Trying as hard as he could not to grin, he nodded.

"Go ahead." Careful not to look at her, Quistis sat down softly and placed her soft hands on the bar.

"What can I get for you Miss?" asked the bartender.

"Red wine please."

"Put that on my tab." Squall cut in. The bartender raised his eyebrows at Squall.

"What a gentleman." She was smiling, he could tell.

"So, how was the mission?" he was trying not to sound too desperate to see her, but he was bursting with joy.

"Oh, it was great." the sarcasm in her voice made him laugh. "How was life in the Garden?"

"Oh, it was great." he answered in the same sarcastic manner. This time, he won a laugh from her. He wanted to touch her. To kiss her would've been heaven. But he couldn't because they were in a public place.

"Why did you ask me to meet you here?" He lowered his voice not to be overheard. "Why not somewhere more . . . private?" She swallowed her wine.

"Because I wanted a free drink." She put the glass to her lips again, hiding her grin.

"Really?" it sounded more like a statement than a question. "Any other reason?"

"Well," she paused. "I would love it if I could have a dance with you." Squall thought about the conversation he just had with Rinoa and felt suddenly scared.

"Are you sure?" trying to hide the question. What he wanted to say was, 'Are you sure that isn't a little bit suspicious?' She seemed to get the hint.

"Just one little dance. Please? No one will be watching us." Squall thought about it for a moment. It was just a dance. That was all, wasn't it? No one would be able to know they were married by a simple dance.

Standing up slowly, he offered her his hand. His eyes fell on her for the first time in six weeks. The most beautiful sight. She sat in her elegant dress. Glasses off, (not that he didn't mind her with her glasses on) honey hair shimmering. Her eyes seemed more blue. He stopped breathing it seamed for an eternity. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders. She smiled slyly at him.

"You look very hansom tonight." she heaved.

"Likewise." he knew it was a lame thing to say, but there were no words possible to describe how beautiful she was. In more ways than one. He knew very few, if any at all, who were just as ravishing on the inside as one the outside. Quistis was hands down, one of these people.

It took him a moment to realize how foolish he must have looked, gawking at her.

"Dance with me?" he invited. She gave him her hand, and let him pull her up.

The fire in her touch was intoxicating. Entwining his fingers with hers, he led her to a corner of the room, where they would most likely not be noticed. Grasping her hand, he held her waist with the other, as she held his shoulder. Innocently, he began to lead her in a slow grace. Did he dare allow himself to stare at her? He did, to find that she was gazing into his eyes. Before he could stop it, a massive grin found its way to the corners of his mouth.

He wanted so badly to kiss her. It was driving him crazy. To be this close to the one you love, and yet so far. She was a lovely temptation. He greedily wanted to be alone with her. Carefully, he closed the gap between their bodies. Letting his cheek touch hers, he closed his eyes. The perfume of her filled his nostrils. Her lashes fluttered in bliss, he felt them on his skin. It was suddenly hard to breathe.

No one else was in the room. Just the them. The last six weeks had never happened, it was still his wedding day, and he was sharing the dance that he was never able to have with her. They swayed together in the dark. The rhythm of her heart against his, they beat in a wonderful song. Falling further into his dream state, he moved to kiss her. Suddenly, the spell broke as he realized what he was about to do.

Not a moment too soon, the song ended. And he soon found himself back at his stool. Quistis right behind him. But she didn't sit down.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight Squall. Thanks for the drink." She nodded at him and left. He tried his best not to watch her slick movement as she vanished out of the room. He turned back and quickly finished the remainder of his wine.

"Your friend is Quistis Trepe?" The bartender asked.

"Yeah." Squall answered, trying not to sound too proud.

"Awe, she is the most glorious woman in this whole Garden! I almost joined SeeD to be with her. But I failed the test."

"That's so sad." Squall said without the slightest trace of pity. He waited a few more minutes in the dance hall before paying for the drinks and making his way for the door.

"Hey Squall!" Oh no. Selphie raced up behind him. "Where are you off to?"

"Uh, no where, I was just walking around." he lied. Selphie looked like she was trying not to roll her eyes.

"You fidget too much. They say if you always pace, there is something wrong with you. Maybe you should go talk to the nurse. I think she can help you with your problem. Oh! I know! You could go see a physical therapist. I betcha he could help. Well, maybe not, I really don't know what a physical therapist does. Say, why don't you find out for me?"

His head was spinning. A million questions after a glass of wine and a dance were not the best mix.

"You okay? You look really sick." Selphie stepped back. "Don't blow any chunks on me, okay?"

"I'll try not to." she scrunched her face in disgust.

"Go to bed before you pass out." He didn't have to be told twice. Turning on his heel, he left.

Entering the hallway, all the lights turned low. It was strange how the lighting could make the place look so different. The deserted halls made an eerie atmosphere flow through the dark halls. Turning, he came to a hall, the lights were off, save a few that gleamed through the door. He started to make his way to his dorm when he felt a hand grab him gently from behind.

"What's the rush?" A gust of hot air blew past his neck and ear. Everything in him broke at that moment. Spinning around, he found himself face to face with Quistis.

Not letting her utter another word, he grasped the small of her back, pulling her closer. Her arms snaked around his neck. Shadows scattered across her face. Her mysterious eyes pierced him. His bangs fell into his eyes, her smooth fingers whisked them away, letting her knuckles graze his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into her hand.

His lips fell onto hers. It had been too long. Withdrawal was the worst thing he had ever experienced since she left. Now she was here, in his arms. Kissing him with sizzling passion. The hot sensation in his stomach ignited, like dynamite ready to go off, he would explode. To taste her sweet lips was better than any alluring flavor that had ever satisfied his thirst. The room was spinning, his knees began to buckle, her grip tightened to keep him from falling.

"I've missed you." she muttered between the lushes kisses he was giving her. A shudder swept through his body. It was all he could do not to make love to her right there on the floor.

"Too long." he whispered. Her lips found his once again. "We've been apart for too long." another kiss.

"Your room or mine?" She ran her hands over his jacket. He kissed her forehead. Trailing more down her face.

"Whichever one's closest." he responded. Lips on her shoulder.

"Mine." She coiled her mouth over his again. Fingers curling in his hair, she grasped the back of his head. Blood was pumping through his body in waves. He suddenly realized that they could easily be seen.

Keeping his lips on hers, he opened his eyes and glanced down the dark corridor. Breaking away shortly to keep air in his lunges, then savoring her lips once again. He continued to stare down the hall. Suddenly, he noticed that Quistis calmed her kisses. Her once hot, passionate lips became slow and tender. Deeply, her mouth tasted his lips. All concerns or worries of being caught dissolved from his mind when she warmly ran her soft tongue over his upper lip.

His body began to tingle. Very aware of the fact that he was going to lose control soon if they didn't find a room, fast. His heart hammered quicker. Every time he experienced a hint of her smooth tongue, he would start to shake.

"Let's go." he reluctantly pulled away.

Briskly turning around, he paced down the hall. Quistis following him quickly behind. Throwing quick glances over his shoulder to make sure no one was in back of them. He approached the door that led to the dorms. Quistis grabbed his shoulder before he had time to open the door.

"Wait!" she whispered. He stopped. "Look in ahead and see if anyone's in the dorm hall."

Poking his head round the corner, his eyes fell on what looked like to be an after party for the ball. Friends chatted with friends and lovers whispered sweet words in each others ears, sitting in the corner. Squall saw them as guard dogs. Solders shielding their room so that the married couple couldn't spend one night together. He swung his head back around to look at Quistis.

"You're right. They're having some sort of festivity in there." Quistis rested her blond head on the wall.

"You're kidding." She sounded so faint. Squall shook his head in disappointment. "What luck, huh?"

Squall looked down at his shoes. The lights flickered from the other room quickly. A power serge. It was quickly followed by a rumble shaking the Garden. A storm was brewing, and he and Quistis were stuck right in the middle of it. One disaster after the other. He just wanted to spend one moment with his wife. Was that too much to ask?

Quistis's eyes lit up.

"I have an idea." Squall leaned over to her. He was just about ready to do anything at this point. She reached out and clasped his hand. "Come with me." Without a word, Squall obeyed Quistis into the dark.

_**I I I  
**_

"Where the hell is that door?" Selphie whispered to herself. Cups, she needed more stupid cups for the party. Zell had somehow convinced her to go get some.

_"But the cafeteria is off limits at this time!" she had complained.  
_

_"Don't you know about the Cook's door? I heard that boys used to go there and snatch food." He turned and wrote the directions for her on a paper napkin. She took it, but not without rolling her eyes  
_

Now here she stood, in the dark. Lost and looking for cups. . . CUPS! This was down right idiotic. She didn't even like cups. She liked glasses. But of course, her committee was cheap and didn't want to spend extra money to buy nice glasses. Was there a cooks door at all? Was Zell sending her one some kind of Snipe hunt?

Apparently not. Just as soon as she was about to give and go back to the party empty handed, she found a small door that read "Cooks Only". Twisting the handle, she prayed it would be open, and to her surprise, it was. Pulling it open smoothly, she entered without making a squeak

Tiptoeing, she found herself behind the metal counter that the cooks served behind. She could hear the rain surging down from the heavens. The wet drops romped on the roof, rolling down to the swelling earth. A flash flourished through the cafeteria, lighting it up for a brief moment. Without losing a beat, the roaring crackle shook the ground and rocked the windows. Selphie held her breath, waiting for it to end. She hated lightning.

"Oh, that was big one." a voice floated through the large room. A female's. Selphie knew that voice rather well.

"Are you sure it's safe to be here?" said a deeper voice. A man's, and he sounded a little bit more worried than the woman. "I heard it's bad to sit close to windows during a storm."

"What's the matter Squall? Are you scared?" the woman teased. Squall? What was he doing here? Hadn't he been sick?

Up to the second before Selphie peeked through the crack in the counter, she expected to see Rinoa and Squall sitting comfortably, watching the storm. Her eye's budged out of her head when she spied, of all people, Quistis, sitting intimately close to Rinoa's ex-boyfriend. The pair gazed out the window, blissfully unaware that they were being spied

"I can't believe that you got the keys to the Cook's door. Where did you get those?" Squall asked. Quistis spun on her fingers, what Selphie expected ( it was rather dark) to be keys. They jingled loudly .

"I've got connections." The clanking of the keys stopped. "We're alone now."

_Yeah, that's what they thought.  
_

"I've noticed." Squall didn't sound like his normal antisocial self. Quite the contrary, he sound humorous. Another roll of thunder outside, this time sounding a bit further away.

Squinting, Selphie eyes to two. The silhouette of Squall moved closer to Quistis. Oh no, he wasn't about to do what she thought he was going to do. What little light that tinted the room, was cast on Quistis's face. Selphie could barely make out the smile that she kept, as she opened her mouth to accept Squall's lips. A squeak almost left Selphie's throat in shock. She had no idea that the shy, unloving, robot since Rinoa dumped him Squall was now kissing the woman that everyone thought got on his nerves.

She stared, mesmerized by the couple. Surprised at how tender Squall was with Quistis as he moved his hands over her body. It was amazingly sensual, the way the two held each other. The way Squall sighed whenever Quistis ran her hands down his chest. Selphie could hear the bewitching strikes of their lips against one another. How every kiss, every touch heightened, one after the other. She saw how reality seemed to be the farthest thing from both their minds, moving deeper into a world only possessed by them.

The shock still stayed in her body, Selphie didn't think she should be here anymore. That was until Squall picked Quistis up as if she weighed no more than a bundle of twigs. Clasping his hands on her waist, he lifted her up, setting her down on one of the tables. The way they regarded each other before he embarked to kiss her once more. Their eyes held hunger, but at the same time, something deeper. She had never seen Squall stare at anyone like that before, anyone. The leisure and profound kisses were almost hypnotic. Whispers were heard, but Selphie couldn't make them out. They only muttered them between kisses. However she did catch one thing.

"Here?" Selphie was dying to know what Quistis was asking. Whatever it was, Squall nodded.

Squall murmured something in return and desperately began to kiss her. What did 'here' mean? She was just about to lean in closer when Quistis removed his jacket. Sliding it down to his elbows, she glided her mouth to his neck. Carefully her hands moved to the buttons of his shirt and made unfastening movements. Squall appeared hypnotized. It finally dawned on what Quistis was talking about. Oh, she shouldn't be watching this!

Regaining composer, Selphie finally managed to move her legs. Spinning around to grab the door, her hand suddenly came into contact with silverware. Tripping over her own feet, she landed hard, flat on her stomach. The clanking silverware fell around her. Clenching her teething in panic, she swore under her breath. Well, there wasn't much hiding herself now, was there?

Rolling onto her back, she looked around into the eternal darkness. A sudden flash, for a half a second, she saw two figures standing over her. Blackness once again. Crap.

"Selphie?" came Quistis's voice. "What are you doing here?"

Answers raced in and out of her mind. She could say anything. 'I was about to ask you the same thing.' 'What does it look like?' 'I got lost'. But instead, a much more intelligent reply fell from her mouth.

"I need cups." she blurted out dumbly. She could practically feel them roll their eyes.

"Are you okay?" Squall asked instead.

"Y-yeah. I was just a little bit shocked." She started to regain her composer. Standing to her feet, she could barely make out the shadow of the two people standing before her. The tension in the air was so thick it was hard to breathe.

"Look," Quistis began.

"No, no. I know what you two were doing." Selphie exclaimed unexpectedly. "Why didn't you tell me!" She shouted instantly angry. "I mean, how long have you guys been fooling around? What would Rinoa think?" she turned to Quistis. "And Quistis! I didn't think you'd be that kind of girl."

"What!?" She sounded as if she had been slapped. "No, it's not like that!"

"Then what's it like?" They both stayed silent. "Please tell me." Selphie pressed further.

"Hey," Squall interrupted. "even if we had been fooling around, it really isn't any of your business. And besides, why were you peeping at us?" Selphie felt her face burn.

"I told you, I needed cups. I came in here and caught both of you sucking face. Quid pro quo. Now tell me what's going on."

Quistis sighed.

"Fine." she began. "About six months ago, Squall an I fell in love."

"Six months! This had been going on for six months?"

"Shh! Please, let me tell you." But Quistis didn't continue. Instead she seemed to be trying to find the right words.

"She had I married six weeks ago." Squall burst out.

Quiet. Flash, then, blast of thunder.

"Married?" Oh wow. That was a load. Not only had she found the unlikely pair kissing, they were also married?

"Yes." Quistis whispered. "We didn't tell anyone because we were afraid that they would act like. . .well, you."

"Cid wouldn't like it if he found out about your marriage."

"We're just waiting." Squall muttered. "We're waiting for Quistis to be promoted to Inspector."

"You mean Instructor." Selphie corrected. Squall shook his head.

"No, Inspector. An Inspector has more power than an Instructor. She wouldn't be on all the missions. We could be togther then."

"I think I understand." Selphie passed a hand over her face. The image of them kissing so heatedly was imbedded in her brain.

"Please, don't tell anyone." Quistis asked. "You have to promise us." Selphie nodded.

"Yeah, I- I'll keep it a secret." The impact of all she had heard still wasn't commencing in her mind. She turned to leave.

"Promise?" Squall cut in.

"Yes. I promise."

Completely forgetting about cups, she opened the door and left. Before she exited, she heard Squall whisper to Quistis.

"Lets go see if we can get into our dorms now."

Selphie felt suddenly sick.

_**I I I**_

Rinoa stared off into space. She was absolutely bored. The dance had been fun for the first few hours, but now her feet were starting to hurt. Plus, there were no more cups. Zell had sent out Selphie to grab some.

"You okay?" Seifer asked, snapping her out of her trance.

"Yeah, I'm fine." she offered him a sweet smile. That wasn't the truth at all. She felt ill. She had felt that way since she had talked to Squall.

Squall. Where was he? About an hour ago, she had talked to him. He had been waiting for someone. Who was it? Quistis came and danced with him, but that couldn't be who he was waiting for. Rinoa knew that Quistis had a crush on him for ages. She remembered thinking it cute on how she still seemed to pursue him so subtlety. A dance was a little bit more loud, but Squall didn't seem to interested much in Quistis.

Now he was gone. She had seen him talk to Selphie for a moment. What then? Selphie left to get cups fifteen minutes ago. Oh well, Squall wasn't much of a dancer. That much she knew.

Just then Selphie appeared. Looking as white as cold legs in winter. She was empty-handed. Rinoa felt herself frown. She was awfully thirsty.

"Hey, where are the cups Selphie?" Zell asked. Selphie looked at him, but at the same time, past him.

"I'm going to bed." she announced. Turning, she left without another word.

"She's weird." Zell stated.

Rinoa didn't say anything. She was still thinking about Squall. He had seemed so different tonight. He didn't say anything out of the ordinary. As always, he had given her short answers. Avoiding contact was something that he had mastered very early in his life. Yet, something was fresh. Something seemed odd, so odd that it seemed as though she were talking to a complete stranger. He had looked calm. He had looked composed. He had looked . . .happy.

To be continued.

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews. I will thank all of you individually next time. But this chapter was already too long as it was. I didn't think there were so many Quall fans out there. I'm so happy. I felt like such a loner. Anyway, you all were so nice. I was blown away. Thank you a million times over. I think I will continue this story, thanks to all of you.**

**You all RULE!!!**


	3. Thoughts

In Secret

**By diddly day**

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**Disclaimer: They're not mine. Deal with it!**

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**A/N: Dude, you guys freaking rock. Thanks for all of the reviews. The first two chapters where Quistis's and Squall's background. I'm going to start getting into the story. I really hope you guys enjoy. I hope I can keep your attention for at least a few seconds. This is NOT a Rinoa/Squall fic. It's a Quall all the way, and I don't write dirty or tasteful love scenes. If I did, I'd blush for the rest of my life.**

**PS: I was re-reading this chapter, and I noticed that the questionmarks I had put in were. . .gone. I don't know why that happened. Sorry about that. I swear they were in there when I wrote it.**

**Chapter three:**

_(Please, just keep your mouth shut.)_

_(Grow up.)_

_(Rinoa, I want to hear your voice.)_

_(Whatever.)_

_(Go talk to a wall.)_

It still hurt. Whenever she thought about it, the stinging in her heart would become overwhelming. She had tried to pretend that she hadn't heard those things he muttered to himself. But she had. Did he really love her? He had said so a hundred times since they had fallen in love. At first he had been horrible at it. Expressing his feelings was not an area that he would get an A in.

_"You. . .you look very, uh. . ." he stuttered in the library. The day he had kissed her for the second time._

_"Squall?" She stared up at him from her book. It had been the first few words he had said to her since that night outside the tent when he kissed her until her lungs almost exploded. "What is it?"_

_"You're a very," he stopped. His eyes glazed over. She could tell he was trying to find the right words._

_"Wow, you're not very articulate, are you?" She sat the book down. Squall winced._

_"Beautiful." he muttered._

_"What?" she whispered sharply. He frowned again. By the look on his face, that must've been the hardest thing he'd ever said in his life. _

_"You look very beautiful today." He mumbled again. Quistis blinked. A few nights ago, he had poured his heart out to her. Kissed her lips like the end of the world was near. Didn't talk to her the next day. And now he struggled to tell her she was beautiful? What was going on between them?_

_"Thank you." She exhaled. _

_Eyeing him to see if he wanted to say anything else before turning back to her book. It appeared that he was finished. She picked the book back up, forgetting what it was about, and started to read. Just as her eyes found their way to the word 'GF,' she felt raw hands pull her wrists down. Squall was staring at her with an expression mixed with timidness and determination. Her lips parted to question him. Before a hum could escape her throat, Squall placed his mouth upon hers. If he had not of been so nervous, Quistis would've smiled_.

That was months ago. Since then, his communication skills had improved a great deal. Though, sometimes she could still tell that it was a struggle of him to say the words "I love you." But was it just his personality? Or was that a bad sign? He didn't seem to have a problem with telling Rinoa that he loved her.

Rinoa.

She liked Rinoa, very much. However, she couldn't deny that slight pang of jealously that entered her heart. He had talked to her briefly last night. She had seen that. They had chatted fleetingly, even so, you could say a thousand words without ever moving your mouth. She had brushed those feelings off, but when she asked him to dance with her, he got a sudden look of fear that flashed through his sharp features.

_Playing the part of the jealous wife? That's pathetic._

Small things like that sometimes opened wounds. Old emotions of rejection would often cloud her soul. He had hated her. She knew that much. Why did he fall in love with her so suddenly? She had never asked him that question in fear that she would spark some hidden doubt that perhaps he didn't love her. It was stupid, although she was afraid that his sudden burst of amour was just a way to mend his scars of being refused by Rinoa.

Yet, when he kissed her, it felt like she were the only person in the world. Virtually the emotions she sensed that he didn't feel anything negative towards her anymore. But did he love her?

No. That was a no brainier. She was just a poor mans Rinoa. He cared deeply for her, and that was the next best thing. Quistis could settle for being second best, right? After feeling that way for first year and a half that Squall and Rinoa were together, this would be a breeze.

Wouldn't it?

She closed her eyes and found her mind drifting through her memories.

_**I I I**_

_"Hello Squall." Quistis offered him a small smile. He, anyhow, didn't even look at her. Instead, he slouched past her and out of the cafeteria. Stalking by, he declined to attempt the slightest grunt in acknowledgment. Quistis swallowed and sat down next to Selphie and Zell._

_"What's wrong with him?" Quistis questioned. She hadn't seen him this bad since before he had met Rinoa._

_"You didn't hear?" Selphie's eyes bugged out of her head. The Gossip Queen's lips quivered in excitement. Quistis shook her head._

_"What happened?" her eyes darted from Selphie to Zell._

_"Squall and Rinoa are no longer together." Selphie hushed._

_Hell had frozen over. She glanced at Zell to verify. He nodded solemnly, continuing to chew the last of his hotdog. Quistis closed her eyes. This had to be a lie. It just couldn't be true. This was Rinoa and Squall. They were meant to be. It was true love. Why had they split?_

_"What to you mean by 'no longer together?'" she had absolutely forgotten about her food. "Do you mean working together?"_

_"No, I mean relationship together. There is no more romance between them. The magic is gone." Selphie sighed. "Sad, if those two can't make it, no one can."_

_"There had to be a good reason." Quistis whispered. Love like that didn't just end. Without uttering another word, she stood and left. She had to find Rinoa._

_Looking everywhere, she was just about to give up, when she went with her instincts and looked in the Parking Lot. As she had guessed, Rinoa sat on the hood of a parked car. Her eyes appeared to be misty and bloodshot._

_"Are you alright?" Quistis asked. Rinoa nodded her head. Reaching into the front pocket of her uniform, Quistis grabbed a handkerchief and handed it to the despairing young woman._

_"Thank you." Rinoa sniffed. She brushed her dim eyes._

_"I heard about what happened. It must've been hard when he broke it off." At her words, Rinoa bit her bottom lip to keep from sobbing._

_"No . . . It was me. I ended it." Quistis stared at her in shock._

_"Why?" They had been so happy. Why had she abandoned that joy? Rinoa turned her eyes down._

_"I . . . I think I'm in love with someone else." she breathed. Quistis ran her tongue over her lips._

_"This is serious." Rinoa nodded. "You broke up with him because you think you fell in love? What happens if it's not love? What if it's lust?"_

_"I know it seems like I'm giving up a great guy, but what if it is love?" Rinoa handed back Quistis her handkerchief. _

_"And if it's not?"_

_Rinoa fell silent. Her stormy hair fell around her face. Rubbing her hands together, she looked as if she wanted to express something. Whatever it was, she was holding it back. She obviously didn't want to say what she was thinking. Was it that bad? _

_"Squall . . . He'll take me back." _

Quistis hated to admit it. But it was true. Squall would've moved heaven and hell if it meant Rinoa would return to him. That was one of the things that drove Quistis crazy. No matter how hard she tried, she never seemed to spark that kind of fervor in him.

_He's married to you now Quistis. Why are you worried? You got the guy. He's yours._

And if Rinoa decided to come back? Would she lose him? Sometimes he made her feel like he truly loved her. When he kissed her, when he touched her. They way he whispered her name when they made love. Save, did he really want to hush Rinoa's name? The thought made her insides come alive.

Deciding that she would greedily love him until the day that Rinoa came back, or the dormant feelings of love for his ex would surface and he would leave her. If that day never came, then Quistis could breathe again. But if it did, then she was willing to accept the heartbreak she knew that would consume her. She prayed she wouldn't lose him.

Her throat suddenly began to hurt. A pain burst in her stomach. Breaking out in fits of coughing as they erupted from her throat. She could taste a coppery flavor in her the back of her mouth. Was she getting sick? Or was she dying of grief?

_**I I I**_

Squall jerked upward, breaking his doze. She was coughing. It sounded horrible. He could feel her stomach muscles wrenching under his fingers. Turning over, he gazed at her. She lay on her side, next the bed. Sheets wrapped around their bodies, her head resting on his pillow. They had moved down to the floor when he realized there was not enough room for them on his bed.

He scooted himself closer to her. Placing his other hand on Quistis's hip, he leaned over her. Her hand covered her mouth, muffling her cough. The sharpness of it made him wince. He brushed his lips on her shoulder. The remembrance of the passion they had shared a few hours before made him blush. Her hacking ceased until it calmed to a dull whimper. Putting his mouth close to her ear, he whispered,

"Quistis? Are you okay?" Rustling of their sheets as she turned on her back to face him.

The rain hitting the window shadowed across her skin. Her eyes wide in the dark. Placing a soft hand on her throat, she hummed. She stared up at him with clear eyes. It struck him that she was very well awake. Lowering himself, he kissed her as softly as he could. Her hand left her neck and slid to the back of his head. The slightest hint of copper savored his lips. An alarm went off in he back of his mind. He pulled away gently.

"There's blood on your lips." he sighed. She placed her fingers on her mouth. Faintly touching them, she drew her fingers away and stared at them, then rubbed them together.

"I must've coughed a little too hard." she looked at him and smiled lovingly. "I'm okay. It's no big deal." He could feel the corners of his mouth tugged down in a grimace.

"I want you to go see the Doctor." Her hand rested on his neck. He could feel her tracing her long fingers along his jaw.

"You don't need to worry. I probably inhaled some dust." He spread his body along side her. Roaming his hand over her navel, he plunged his face into the curve of her neck.

"Please, just comfort a worried husband." He placed his soft lips on her skin. She fell silent. He could tell she didn't want to go. They lay in stillness for a while. Listening to the rain outside.

"You're not going to leave me, are you?" she asked suddenly. Squall sighed.

"Quistis, I'm a commander. I run the risk of dying like every SeeD member."

"No! No, no." Quistis shook her head. "That's not what I was talking about." She closed her eyes and frowned while continuing to shake her head. "I don't even want to think about that."

"What are you talking about? You mean for another woman?" She stayed quite. Squall propped himself up on his elbows. Shock and astonishment washed like waves through his body. Did she really think that?

"Never mind." she let out an uncomfortable chuckle. "It was a rhetorical question." That was a lie. He knew she didn't want to make him feel uneasy. She had came right out and asked him what was on her mind. Now fear seemed to be the only thing on her mind.

"Quistis." He leaned over and wrapped his arms around the slender curves of her body. She stiffened at first, but then relaxed. "Are you afraid I'm going to leave you"

"I wonder sometimes." Her quick answer jolted him.

"I love you. You know that, right?" This time she didn't answer. Her silence made him nervous. Her gripped her and turned her toward him, their bodies pressed against each other. He noticed her eyes were still closed. "I love you. Please tell me you believe that." She took a deep breath.

"I just wonder how much of it is real." Bitting her lip, she fluttered her eyelids. "You were so in love with Rinoa. Even I thought you two could stand anything. As far as I know, you would've never left her. If she comes back, if she takes you away, I don't know what I would do."

Squall stared at his wife. He wanted to tell her so many things. He wanted to express how happy he was that Rinoa had broken it off with him. To utter that she was the only thing in his life now worth living for. How he thanked Hyne every day that she had stayed with him through all of his troubles. When he woke in the morning alone, he craved her kisses for the rest of the day. But would those words be enough to express how much he loved her? No, he would never be able to show her or tell her exactly what he felt.

It then accord to him just why she was thinking these thoughts. His mind drifted off to a couple of years ago, when he had muttered things under his breath that he would regret for the rest of his life. Had she heard? He had been so frustrated. So many things going on at one time. A blossoming romance with Rinoa. A handful of new friends. He was learning how to depend on people. Being exposed to change was not something Squall liked, and he took all of his anger, frustration, sorrow, and loneliness out on the one woman who had ever stayed by his side. He felt like a major jackass.

"I love yo--" he started, but she put her long fingers on his lips.

"I know. It was a ridiculous question for me to ask." But her eyes held differently. "Don't tell me you love me." She tipped in and gave him a devilishly diabolical kiss. "Show me."

A soft clap of thunder echoed outside. He smiled and seized her lips with his own. Her soft breathing drove him insane with excitement. She resumed to run her fingers down his spine. Chills and shudders wracked his body. It had been six weeks. Six weeks and now they were togther again. It had been a dry season, and Squall was still thirsty.

_**I I I**_

"What's wrong with the lights?"Zell pulled with switches up and down in the hall.

"What do you think? Selphie stated. "The storm blew the power out."

"Don't we have a backup generator? he tried the lights again as if they would magically burst with light.

"I wish, but apparently when the Garden smashed into that mountain last month, the generator clashed in and we are still trying to repair it." Rinoa explained. Turning over, she gazed out the window. " The rain is still coming down hard."

"So what are we going to do if all the power is out? Asked Seifer as she sat down next to Rinoa. Zell shrugged.

"I guess we could practice on our skills. You know, battle each other and kick some major butt!"

Just then, there was a struggle outside of the automatic door. Someone swore, and the other one seemed to shout out in pain.

"Stop it Irvine! I can do it myself!" Quistis's voice cried irritably. The doors suddenly were pried open, and there stood Irvine and Quistis. Quistis with a crowbar in her hand.

"How did you get out Quistis?" asked Selphie. "We've all been trapped in the dorm hall since the power went out."

"I used the window in my room. It was kinda hard, I'm sort of tall and I when I landed, I fell into a big pile of mud." She turned around where a huge brown stain streaked up the back of her pants. Everyone laughed.

"Where's Squall?" Zell asked. Selphie looked at Quistis as if to say 'she knows.' Quistis shot her a deadly stare.

"Probably in his dorm." Rinoa nodded over to his door.

"Go wake him up, will you?" Seifer said as he got up and left the door that Quistis and Irvine and yanked open so well. Zell could still tell that Seifer felt bad about stealing Squall's girl. He knew he hadn't meant to do it. What can you do when you fall in love?

The rest all left the room. With the exception of Zell and Selphie. Both of them walked over to Squall's door and knocked. The door opened slowly, revealing a half naked Squall. He stood with a sheet wrapped around his waist.

"Yes?" Squall asked, his eyes looked weary.

"We just wanted to see if you were awake." Zell stated. Squall nodded.

"I am now."

"Didn't sleep too well last night, did you?" Selphie asked slyly. Squall smirked at her.

"Uh, dude, why are you, uh. ." Zell stammered, trying not to look at Squall.

"I was hot last night." He explained. Both Zell and Selphie entered his room. Selphie's eyes spotted to two pillows on the floor.

"You slept on the floor?" She raised her eyebrow at him. Squall bent over and picked them up.

"Yeah, that's why I didn't sleep well last night. My bed was killing my back." Squall smiled again. Selphie rolled her eyes.

"I don't get it." Zell blurted out. "I'm gonna go see if there are any hotdogs the kitchen's giving away." he turned and sprinted out of the room. As soon as he was out of ear shot, Selphie crossed her arms and smiled.

"What?" Squall asked when he read the expression on her face.

"You slept on the floor because your back hurt?"

"It was too small for the both of us." He picked up his shirt. "How's Quistis"

"Normal. To look at her you wouldn't have knownthat she was in L-O-V-E." Squall ran a hand through his hair. "Is something bothering you?" Squall scratched the back of his head.

"Quistis. . . she asked me this really weird question last night. She-she wanted to know if I would ever leave her for another woman."

"Would you?" Squall's head snapped in Selphie's direction.

"No! Of course not! I love her. But when I told her, she didn't seem to believe me." Selphie stared at him and shook her head.

"Can you really blame her? After the way you treated her? And what about those horrible things you would sometimes mutter under your breath."

"You heard?" Squall frowned. It was as if his worst fear ran through him. Selphie nodded.

"We all did." She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Hey, just so I know, does anyone else know about the two of you?"

"Yeah, Irvine does." Squall muttered absentmindedly. The guilt of how he made Quistis feel was still fogging his brain.

"WHAT?" She shrieked. "HE KNOWS?"

"Y-yeah. He was a witness at our wedding." Squall stared at the enraged girl in front of him, he had completely forgotten that Irvine was her boyfriend.

"And he didn't tell me? I'm going to kill him. I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" She ran out of the room almost knocking Rinoa to the ground as she entered the dorm hall.

A/N: This chapter had been done for a while, but I had to update my other story, so I have and now I'll post this. Then, I have to post Darkest Hour. But I don't think you guys know what that is. Anyway. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It's a little insight to how Quistis feels. That will play a big part in later chapters. I'm glad you liked.

I know that some of you reviewed several times. But I'm only gonna thank you once for this chapter. There is no way I could write 50 thank you's.

Kitian: Thank you for the review. I know, my spelling sucks. But you have to understand that I don't proof read it or anything. I just post it how it is. But thank you for the wonderful things you wrote. I blushed when I read them.

Broken: Well, thank you so much for the nice review. Those always make me smile. You are awesome!

Genjy0-Sanz0: He he, lets see if she can keep her mouth shut. Thank you so much for the cool review. I love reading them.

Jada: Wow! You really hate Rinoa don't you? LOL. I'm not a big fan of her either. She was my weakest player (but that was because I never used her) Thanks for the review!

Shadowed-Moon2525: I've noticed that Quall is very rare. It was so hard for me to find them. So I'd thought I'd write one. But thank you for your kind review. I loved reading them.

Seifer's Incarnate: I know, I have to review you story. You seem like a wonderful person. I'll be sure to read your story very soon. I know you won't let me down. Haha. Thanks.

Femke: You're just too nice. Thank you so much!

Zorin Thyme: Dude! You rock! I love reading your stuff and I get a kick out of your reviews. I hope you update . . . Like. . TODAY! But it means a lot to me that you took time out to read and review my story. Hey, that's what friends are for right? You can barrow the game from me sometime. Thank you!

sailorjr5: You are just the sweetest! I love reading your reviews. You've read both chapters and still reviewed! That means the world to me. Thank you so much for all of your wonderful comments. I seriously was amazed that you liked it. I felt very flattered. I thank you a million times over.

Quallfantilldeath: I like your pen name. I'm not sure I'll kill them, but perhaps I'll make one of them get hurt. Oh, well. Lets see what happens. But thank you for the awesome review. I felt very pleased.

Dark Phoenix: Awww! You are just too cool! I'm so happy that I could melt you. Haha. You have such sweet words and I felt so proud when you left your review. I'm getting a warm and fuzzy feeling when you leave such wonderful reviews. You rock! Thank you so much!

PrincessMercury: I couldn't believe how few of Quall were out there. But thank you for the cool review. I was happy when I read what you had to say. It makes me want to write even more knowing there are people out there who do take out time to read. Thanks a bunch!

Eclipse0468: I know, that annoys me too when you read a great fic that's about 100 chapters long, then you get to the last chapter and it's a "To be continued" that make me mad. But thank you for your kind words. They made my bloody day!

Blaze The Fire Mistress: I'll be sure to call you if something comes up. Thank you. You were right, I did get many more reviews than I thought. I really didn't know how many Quall fans where out there. It's nice

aerischan: You're just too nice. Thank you for telling me I'm a great writer. That's the best compliment I could ever have. Thanks for the review.

Kriger Hey, you're awesome. Thank for the review!

Lucentia: Thank you so much for the wonderful things you said. The fact that you thought I had talent is enough to keep me on cloud 9 for about a year. Thank you thank you! You are awesome!

chococat2: Thank you for your cool review. I love what you said. It made me feel all warm inside.

Integra-Hellsing: You are so wonderful, I'm glad you liked that scene. It was really fun to write. Thanks!

JJMP: You just write the kindest things. I like to write long chapters. I hate to read short ones. Thank you so much for all of your reviews.

IntegraHelsing: Thank you for a nice and cool review.

east: Wow, you're just so cool. Thank you a bunch for the review.

Ifrit: Thank you for the review. I will keep writing. PLEASE DON'T USE HELL FIRE!

trinity-fire: He he. Thank you so much. I'm really happy you enjoyed. I was touched by the wonderful things you said.

Petha: Hey, you are so nice. I was very affected by what you said. I know that Qualls sometime have a hard time. So thank you for what you said. I felt wonderful. Thank you.

Seraphim Angel: I felt so happy when I found out that you liked reading Squall/Rinoa fics. And yet, you read a Quall . . . My quall! I felt so honored. Thank you a billion times. A million, trillion times. I love reading what you wrote.

wInD chIme beLLs: Wow, Thanks for the kind review. You rule!

falvo: Thank you million times. I loved what you wrote. Thank you!

bb: Awe, don't tear up. Thank you for the wonderful, beautiful, awesome review! You are awesome!

fan: Thank you!

: I'm glad you liked the intro. I hope you hear from you again..Thank you so much! I love what you said.

PrincessMercury: Hey! Thank you so much for such a nice review. I loved what you had to say!

SexyNinja: Awww! Thank you. I know, Qualls rock. Thank thank thank you!

Shabaman: Thanks for rooting me on. I'm very happy there are reviewers like you to keep me on my feet. Thank a lot!

Kitian: Yeah, I did underestimate how many of us were out there. I'm so happy you went out and read my fic. I felt so happy that I got a review like yours. I was so kind and honest. I hope you hear from you again. Thanks

little: Wow! Thanks! I love that you like it!

Jay : Thanks, I will continue.

Wings of Lead: Thank you a million times for such a cool review. I love it when people write what a they feel and are straight forward. I'm glad you read it. Thanks!

Cheery Wolf: Thanks for the review!

Cailin Skylark: Hey! My first reviewer. I gotta tell you. When I read what you wrote. I felt so happy that someone read it and liked it. I was an awesome feeling and I'm soooo happy that you decided to read a long and boring fic like this. You rule all. Thank you.


	4. Lifts

A/N: Hehehe, I bet you all thought I was gone. Didn't you? Well, no. I was never gone. I was just really freaking busy. With college and other fics. But, I realize that I needed a little bit more of Quall so. . . .

I also want to thank every single on of you who reviewed. I will dedicate a whole chapter to you soon. And I won't stop writing this story. Hell, I'll probably update it later this week.

Warning: This is not a gushy chapter, it's more of what I call a set up chapter, but I hope you like it nonetheless.

**...**

In Secret

Chapter Four

"Are you okay? You look sick." Zell stated as Squall sat down at his table. It was the truth. He hadn't looked well in days. Ever since he got back from his mission, Squall acted quiet, even more than usual. Except last night at the party, which he looked like he was about ready to explode.

"I'm fine." his voice was small. Looking around, Squall seemed to be searching for someone. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"So, what did you want to talk to Quistis about?" Zell asked as he observed the man fidget with anything in sight. At the mention of Quistis's name, Squall's head whipped around so fast Zell was worried he'd hurt himself.

"Why?" Squall's tone sound rough and blunt.

"Didn't you say that you wanted to talk to her? Before she left? You acted all upset when she left on her mission. She's back. What did you tell her?" Zell continued briskly. He wasn't sure why, but she had touched a nerve with Squall, making him desperately troublesome.

"Oh, uh I don't remember." He was lying. Zell knew that much. He resumed looking around the room for someone.

"You don't remember?"

"Yeah, it was stupid. I haven't talked to her since she got back." It occurred to Zell that the reason Squall was looking around, was that he was avoiding meeting his eyes.

"So you didn't talk to her when you danced with her last night?" Squall immediately stopped gazing around the room. For the first time since this morning, he stared Zell right in the face.

"Look," he lowered his voice and brought his face close to Zell. "I can't tell you. It's top secret. It has to do with me evaluating her since she got back."

"Are you serious!?" Zell hushed. He couldn't believe it. What had they been working on?

"Yeah. The reason I was looking for her before she left was that I had to interview her." Squall sat back and stared at the table.

"What about?" Zell asked, his curiosity growing.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." he said it very seriously. Zell didn't know whether to laugh or whimper. Either way, he shut up. "Do you know where Rinoa is?" Squall asked suddenly, gazing around the room once more.

"Oh!" that's who he'd been looking for. "No." and with that he left.

Just then Irvine came by and joined Zell at the table. His eye was dark and puffy with small nick of a ring around the bottom of his cheek.

"What the hell happened to you?" Irvine pulled his hat down over his face.

"I don't want to talk about it."

**...**

Squall walked down the hallway lost in thought. The Garden seemed to whisper with every step he took. Quistis had disappeared when he awoke this morning. The window had been pushed open and a large imprint in the mud indicated that she had climbed out of his room, fallen down, and searched to find another way around into the Main Hall.

Now he couldn't find her anywhere. It was like she was still gone and had never returned from battle. He felt that their passionate night had all been a dream. Heaven knows that Squall had enough of those dreams before they were married. But had night really happened? Or had he gotten wasted at the bar, passed out, and dreamed it? He shook his head to gather his thoughts. Of course it wasn't a dream. He had talked to Selphie this morning about Quistis. Also, she had left some underwear in his room this morning.

Squall couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.

"What are you smiling about?" said a soft voice behind him. He spun around to find Rinoa sitting on the Garden steps.

"Am I not allowed to smile?" Squall returned quickly. Rinoa let out a small giggle.

"No, it's not your style." She stood up and smoothed out her dress. "You usually don't wear grins like that. And when you do, you're always drunk." Squall let out an irritated grunt.

"Whatever."

"Ah! See! That's more like it! That style suits you much better." She burst out in another fit of giggles. "I haven't seen you smile like that since we were-" she stopped laughing.

The air was dead between them. Not awkward. Not stiff. Not even thick. Just dead. At least for him anyway.

"Look," her mood switched dramatically. "I've been looking for you. We have a bit of a situation." Squall turned to look at her.

"What kind of situation?" He eyed her up and down. "It looks like you were sitting on steps rather than looking for me. It can't be that important."

"Well," she started. "It kinda is. You see, as you already know, all the automatic doors have been shutdown due to the storm. We can't get the power back on." She brushed her black wispy bangs out of her eyes.

"And that means what to me?" Rinoa's eyes narrowed at him.

"Most people are stuck in their wings, or in their rooms. And in case you haven't noticed, the elevator is the only way to get to each floor in the entire Garden!" She took in a deep breath, and when she spoke, it was much more calm. "Quistis and Irvine have been going around and prying the doors open with a crowbar. But we have a few people who were in the lift last night and, uh, well. . ."

"They got stuck in there!?" Squall shouted horrified. Rinoa nodded. "For how long?" She shrugged.

"Probably all night. Quistis is there right now trying to get them out."

"Why didn't any of you inform me immediately?"

"I wanted to, but Quistis told me not to disturb you. She said that you were probably really tired. Are you really tired?" Squall bunched his fists in annoyance. Turning his neck slightly, he could feel all the muscles in his back and throat tighten in pain.

"What!? No, of course not." But that was a huge lie. He was exhausted. Not only had he slept terribly for the last six weeks, but last night with Quistis had been. . .

"Good. Then you can help us. I've been looking for you everywhere, and I got tired of looking so I sat down to rest. And you just popped right up. It's all so magical!" she sighed jokingly.

The two started off toward the elevator. As they twisted down the hall, Squall pretended he didn't see Rinoa's sideway glances.

**...**

"Hey Irvine, you're not afraid of heights, are you?" Quistis asked at him as he stood behind her. Her eyes glued to the elevator doors.

"Why?" Quistis turned to face him and gave him a charming smile. Batting her eyes playfully, she opened her full lips to speak.

"Well, you are such a brave, strong man. I know you would have no problem climbing in the elevator shaft to get them out."

"You are crazy! I'm not squirming my way in there for anybody." Quistis's eyes switched from flirtatious to pestered. Rolling her eyes, she gazed back at the doors.

"Come on! As much as I believe in girl power, I can't pull the screen of the elevator off myself. I'm not strong enough. I need a man to go in there." Irvine opened his mouth. "And don't tell me use dynamite!" she cut him off. "Although that would work, I don't think us blowing up hostages is the answer."

Irvine stared at her shocked.

"How did you know I was going to suggest dynamite?" Quistis shut her eyes tightly.

"I just knew."

"If you want a strong man to pull the screen off the head of the elevator, why don't you get your hubby Squall?" Irvine beamed at her. Quistis spun around to face him.

"Say it a bit louder. I don't think the people in the lift heard you."

"Why are you two keeping this a secret? I mean, if it were me, I'd be shouting it off the top of the roof." Irvine spread his hands and stepped away from Quistis. "If I were you, I'd be screaming 'I'm in love!' at the top of my lungs. I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love" he did large twirl, his arms outstretched like wings.

Quistis cackled at his impression of her declaring her love for Squall. For some odd reason, it didn't quite fit. Irvine began to reel faster and faster until he looked nothing like a big blur. His red hair dancing like fire, and almost smacking her in the face. To top it off, he did a little butt shake every time he shouted the word love.

Just then, Quistis saw Rinoa appear around the corner. Squall soon came into view. Both stopped when they saw Irvine. However, Irvine did not see them.

"Irvine stop." Quistis whispered. Her hands out before her, trying to signal for him to cease his spinning. He payed no heed.

"Oh! I'M IN LOVE!!!" Irvine roared. "HE'S THE GREATEST GUY! I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM. WEEEEE!" he gave one last fantastic whirl still shouting.

Suddenly, a strong, yet business-like voice muttered softly:"Well, that's all very sweet. But we need to get going." said Squall, clearly trying to hide his amusement.

Irvine stopped.

His jaw open as if he had just been given a wedgie in front of his mom. He stared at Quistis. She unconsciously had clapped her smooth hands over her mouth. She stared back, her body shaking with silent giggles. His head whipped around at Rinoa and Squall. Rinoa's face was snowy white. Her expression of disgust and confusion. That was probably the most disturbing thing she had seen in her entire life. Squall, however, looked like he was about to lose it. He composed himself carefully.

"I found him." Rinoa pointed at Squall and stepped aside. Her face completely blank.

Irvine stared back and Quistis. His face bright red with rage, or embarrassment. It was hard to tell.

"I tried to tell ya." Quistis smiled slyly at him.

"It's okay Irvine." Squall said and walked up to him. "I think I understand what you were talking about."

"You do?" Irvine looked at him, looking for any kind of sympathy. Squall nodded.

"Yeah." A moment of silenced passed between all of them. "So Irvine, who's the lucky guy?"

Quistis let out a noise as though she were snoring backwards. She made no effort to hide her laughter. Rinoa's head snapped up to look at Squall. She stared at him like she had never seen him before. She obviously didn't understand that Squall was able to lash his tongue out when the right moment slipped into his palm. Even so, Quistis had heard him make plenty of wisecracks. A tiny twinge of triumph rang in her heart. Quistis: 1, Rinoa: 0.

"Did you say that Squall?" she asked. Squall rubbed his hands quickly over his mouth. His grin had vanished like a magic act. First you see it, then you don't.

"Never mind." He rumbled darkly. Glancing down at the floor, he let out a flat grunt. However, when he caught Quistis's eye, she saw them ignite with fever. A fast jolt of electricity passed between them like a phantom. So strong it made her woozy. And that made her smile.

"So," Irvine spoke, trying to recover gracefully from his earlier embarrassment. "How are we going to get those people out of the elevator?"

A surge of pain crept its way behind Quistis's eyes. She pinched the bridge of her noise to relieve the pain. It didn't work.

"I don't know. But we have to act soon. We can't leave them in there forever. Or even until next week. I really don't want to have the Garden smell of rotting flesh." Rinoa muttered. Her mouth was tugged down into a large scowl. It was simple to tell that this was the last place she wanted to be.

They all wanted to be somewhere else. Especially Quistis.

"Well, I guess we could get a ladder and try to pry the doors open." Quistis suggested. "Or we could have one of you men climb in the shaft and pull of the screen off the top of the elevator roof."

"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea." Irvine squeaked. He clapped Squall on the shoulder. "And I know just the man who can take care of that."

Squall gazed up and down the elevator doors.

"Okay, so how do I get in there?"

"We have air-ducts that lead to the elevator shaft. You could go from there." Quistis stared at Irvine, as if trying to will him to volunteer for the task. He did not get the hint. Another flash of pain prickled from her eyes and down her back. She winced.

"Are you okay?" Rinoa asked. She was eyeing her up and down suspiciously. Quistis nodded and gave her a weak pat on the hand.

"Yeah. I'm fine." But she wasn't fine. The exact opposite. Her whole body felt off. Her stomach perceived to be one thousand pounds. And her arms weighted twice as much. All of her energy had flowed out of her during the night, and now she believed herself to be nothing more than pile of stone. She wasn't kidding when she told Irvine that she didn't have the strength to go into that elevator to free those students. No, she was anything but fine.

"Are you sure?" Irvine interrupted her thoughts. "You look really pale." Rinoa nodded her head in agreement.

Squall, on the other hand, kept silent. His dark eyes traveled up and down her body. Holding the slightest hint of distress. She could tell he was remembering her coughing fit the night before. Her hand almost reached out to touch him. But she thought better of it and averted her eyes back to the object of their mission.

"Yeah. Look I was gone for about three weeks. I probably picked up a cold or something. Not a big deal." Every word that fell from her lips seemed to increase the pain that was now spreading throughout her body.

"Maybe you should see the doctor." Squall sighed. His head bent low, but his eyes staring at her with such anxiety that Quistis thought she would faint.

"I'm not going to see Kadowaki." she spat suddenly. She immediately could feel icy guilt stabbing her in the pit of her stomach when Squall took a sudden step back away from her in alarm. His action felt worse than the pain. "I'm sorry."

She didn't think when her hand brushed his gently. Squall's eyes shot to meet hers. There was panic in his cool eyes, yet he didn't pull away. Instead when she pulled her hand away, he caught it and ran his thumb over her knuckles. Shooting a sideways glance to make sure that Irvine and Rinoa weren't watching, Quistis let herself playfully bat her eyelashes at him. Quickly, he let her had drop.

"Please. . ." he whispered._ 'Comfort a worried husband'_ she finished in her mind.

Pain.

"Okay." she whispered back.

Blood inside.

"Quistis! So you're going to the doctor then huh?" Irvine laughed at her. She spun around to look at him.

"Yeah," she replied. "After we get those kids out of the lift."

Her lungs were filling with liquid.

"You okay?"

Voice far off.

"Quistis?"

She couldn't breathe. Millions of little dust bites were filling in her chest by the second. The only way to get them to leave was to scream. Beads of sweat began to fall from her brow. Bugs were crawling around on her skin. She had to get away.

"I can't breathe." she sighed.

"Quistis!!" Squall's sounded scared. His voice echoing around her.

She was on fire. Quistis began to feel her skin flaking off. Itchiness was overtaking her. Her fingers flew to her buttons on her blouse. Buttons flying off, much as they did the night before, her hands lurched to her chest.

_I'm going to explode. . ._

Nails raking over her chest, she scratched just above her breasts. Her bra straps were making it difficult to get away from the heat. Squalls hand's gripped her and pulled them away. He was shouting something. She couldn't understand. He was far away, and yet so close. __

_I'm going to die. . ._

Suddenly, piercing coughs flared from her chest. At first she thought her body was combusting. However she soon understood that it was merely her body convulsing. The harder she tried to take in a breath of fresh air, the more her lungs burned. Something warm was flowing up her throat. The familiar taste sent alarm bells ringing in her head.

It was blood.

The room spun, faster and faster until Quistis's stomach rose inside her. At first it was hazy, then quickly becoming darker.

"Quistis!" His voice. So soft. So soothing.

Darker.

His sweaty hands were slipping from hers.

"She's gonna fall!" Rinoa, why was she screaming?

Darker.

Squall's hands were gone. He was shouting in terror. She had never heard him sound like that before. She never wished to hear it again. Quistis was falling. Her body seemed suspended in air. Everything was light.

_I love you. . .Squ-_

Blackness.

**...**

Kadowaki stared down at Quistis's as her body lay on the gurney. She had smacked her head pretty damn hard. A trail of blood that led from the corner of her hairline, over her eye, and down to her chin was now dried and brown. There was not much to do about her head. Perhaps wrapping her brow with a bandage would do the trick.

"Is she going to be alright?" The worried young man asked as he sat next to her.

Kadowaki thought it odd that Squall would be so worried about this lady. When everyone else was told to leave the room, he was the only one who protested to stay behind. He had claimed that since he was her commander, it was vital that he stay with her and make sure she was in steady condition. But when the door shut, his face slacked with unmistakable woe. More than a commander should have anyway.

"I'm not sure about her head. I did a blood test on her and there were traces of Paramox in her system." Squall stared at the doctor.

"Paramox?" He shook his head making his wild hair fly in his eyes.

"Yes, it's a bacterium. Don't worry it's not contagious. She probably got it in battle. Did she have any wounds on her body?" Squall nodded.

"Yeah, she had some cuts on her lower bac-" he suddenly stopped. Slowly grunting, his face turned beet red. "I don't know. How would I? It's not like I've seen her naked." Kadowaki raised an eyebrow at Squall. He shifted in his seat and then blurted: "Why don't you check her or something?"

"Okay . . . " Kadowaki stretched. "Look, I'm guessing that she sustained a cut on a rusty blade or piece of glass. I have medicine that can cure her. As far as I know, the infection is mostly in her lungs."

Squall stopped holding his breath and heaved out hot air. Upon seeing the doctor's reactions, he rapidly covered it up with a cough.

"Mmmm, perhaps you did catch it." Kadowaki gave him a soft smile. Squall swallowed. "I'm gonna go run some more testes just to make sure. You stay here and watch her incase she wakes up."

When shutting the door, the doctor suddenly heard the boy mutter:

"Quistis, I want to hear your voice."

To be continued. . .

A/N: That's all for now. I'll update very soon. I have almost the whole story in my head, it's just a fact of writing it down and articulating it that's the tough part. I hope you liked it. I really do. It's not fluffy like my other chapters, but it's an important chapter so, please please review. I need something to look forward too.

Oh! And I had a typo in another chapter. About Selphie and wanting to watch Squall and Quistis get is on. She didn't. That was a typo. I'm not a pervert.

Is Kadowaki a guy or a girl? I couldn't figure that the hell out. Someone tell me do I can write the word s/he. It was really hard to write that scene without using that word.

Peace out!


	5. Memories

_**In Secret**_

_**Disclaimer: Not mine. Haha!**_

_**A/N: Thanks for the kind reviews. Okay, the italics are the dreams/memories. So just go with it if you don't understand. But I'm sure many of you will. I understand that my last chapter was something of a disappointment. I hope this chapter makes up for it. Thanks again to all you awesome and sexy people! You all rock!**_

_**Chapter Five:**_

_He felt so alone. Why? He was surrounded by so many friends. Matron was always kind to him. So why was he feeling so lonesome? Perhaps it was because he was different. Yes, that had to be it. Squall. The lone wolf. No one to love, and no one to love him. It would be that way until he was an ancient, scaly man with one or two marbles rolling around in his head._

_Tears of perils glided down his full, smooth cheeks. He sniffed and brushed his tangled hair away from his sweaty forehead. It was useless. Nothing in his life was ever going to work out. She had left him here. He was never going to see her again. His big sister had vanished like a phantom into the cold, dark, rain._

_His mouth felt like chalk. It was so dry he was sure that if he dared open it, grains of sand would spill from his lips and onto the floor. He licked his thick, swollen tongue over his wet, salty upper-lip. He wanted a glass of water, but he couldn't let anyone see that he had been crying. Irvine and Seifer would tease him. Selphie woudl try and cheer him up with some lame jokes. And Quistis would probably tell him to go clean his room or something to make himself feel better._

_No thanks, he was staying here. In the broom closet. Where it was safe._

_He heard the bedroom door open, and small light footsteps padded into the room. Squall wiped his face and eyes and stiffened in the closet. Whoever was out there was looking under the bed. Their steps heading closer and closer to the closet. Squall shrunk back in the shadows so not to be seen._

_Closer and closer._

_Their shadow now visible through the small slits in the closet door. They hovered and then the door drew back._

"_Squall?" a little, timid voice asked. _

"_Go away!" he shouted back at Quistis and buried_ _his head in his knees._

"_Squall, we've been looking everywhere for you. You've made the Matron worried sick!" Her usual bossy voice didn't change. She stood with her arms folded over her chest._

_Everything that had happened to him in the last few days broke, and he began to feel fresh new tears growing in his eyes. His nose started to make more mucus. He sniffed._

"_Are you crying?" she asked._

"_No! Now go away and leave me alone!" He heard her move forward. The floorboards creaked under her feet. He lifted his eyes away from his knees and squinted through his raveled hair. Her shoes scuffed the floor as he saw her pant legs rolled up so she wouldn't trip over the end of them. She came closer._

"_Do you want to go talk to the Matron?" Her voice was so close to him now. Squall bunched his fists in irritation._

"_What I want is for you to leave!"_

_She didn't leave. But she didn't come forward either._ _She just stayed still. He wondered if she was going to pull him to his feet or turn around and walk away. Leaving him in his own misery._

"_She'll come back Squall," Quistis whispered slowly. The air grew thick around them._

"_No, she won't."_

"_Yes. She loves you. She'll see you again." Squall could feel his body tense at her words. She was lying. Quistis was a liar. A liar just like. . .her._

"_No one loves me," he choked and put his arms over his mouth._

"_We're your friends. We love you." She stepped nearer to him. Suddenly her hand brushed his arm. Probably by accident, but that was all he needed to send him over the edge._

_He jumped to his feet._

"_Leave me alone!" he screamed in Quistis's face. He grabbed her arms and pushed her as hard as he could out of the closet. She landed on her back by the bed. Staring up at him with alarm and shock._

_For only an instant did he see her blue eyes glaze over. Her lips trembled slightly. Quickly, she stood up and dashed for the bedroom door. Leaving him alone. All alone._

_Just like he wanted._

_Squall stared at his own hands. A small pang of guilt struck him. He hated feeling guilty. And he hated things that made him feel guilty._ _It was her own fault. She should've left him alone like he had told her. Quistis had brought it on herself. She was always bossing him around. Always telling him what to do._

_It wasn't his fault. He wasn't to blame. He turned around and stepped back into his closet. Slamming the door behind him._

_**I I I**_

"_All right. Pencils down," Instructor Trepe announced. Squall smashed his pencil down on his desk and cursed under his breath. He had failed. He could've done better. . . If he had a competent teacher._

_Standing up and walked toward the door with his test in hand. Quistis stood at the door accepting everyone's tests while wishing them a nice day. He waited a few minutes so no to see her to soon, but no to be the last one at the door. Carefully, he blended into the line of students._

_Brushing past her, he folded his test and chucked it into the garbage. All the while, not meeting Quistis's eyes._

"_Wait! Squall come back here." Her voice holding a dogmatic tone. "Just set the tests on my desk." she told the other students quickly. "Squall, come back now." He stopped in the middle of the hall._

_She jogged to catch up with him._

"_Why did you throw your test away?" she asked softly. He clenched his jaw and turned his head. "Answer me," she demanded. _

_Squall's eyes darted to meet hers. They flashed with sudden fury._

"_Why?" he spat. "You want to know why? Because I failed! I study, and I study, and I study. And it still never comes out right. It's a waste of my damn time." Quistis put her hands up to silence him._

"_Lets see how the score comes out."_

"_If you want my score then go dig it out in that stupid trash can." He turned around and gestured toward her classroom door._

"_Squall, I know you've been studying. I know you did better than you thought you did on the test. Let me look at it, and then we'll decide what to do next."_

"_Whatever," he hushed as he marched past her. He heard her let out a soft sigh. He didn't look back. He couldn't look back. He was never going to be a member of SeeD._

_**I I I**_

"_An eighty-three percent," Quistis said to him the next morning as he passed her at the door. She held out his test in her hands. Crumpled round the edges, and it looked as though someone dropped their jelly doughnut on top of it._

"_I passed?" Squall stared dumbly at the crinkled pages that she held so carefully in her hand._

"_I thought you might like to know." She smiled at him as he reached out and stuffed the paper in his notebook. "I knew you could do it."_

_He didn't say anything to her. So she had taught him well enough so he could pass a dumb test. Big deal._

"_You might want to brush up a little on your studies about GF. But other than that, you did above average. Good work. Now take your seat." She turned to walk up to her desk. _

_He needed a new teacher. One that didn't get on his nerves._

_**I I I**_

"_I can't believe we've been together this long," Rinoa whispered in his ear as they danced. Squall smiled. He couldn't believe it either. It was the first time that he had ever felt truly happy._

"_I'm still very excited about the fact that you were able to transfer here. It's just too good to be true." He placed a soft kiss on her lips. He swayed with her out on the balcony. She suddenly shivered against him. He wrapped his arms around her. "You're freezing, lets go inside okay?"_

"_Yeah, as magical as this night is, I would like to go inside now. I'm very tired." Squall smiled again. She always was so tired._

_Grasping her hand with his, he led her though the balcony doors. It was one of those lovely nights. Squall never really had appreciated how wonderful a starry sky could be. It wasn't until that he had met Rinoa that he was able to notice all those small beauties of the world._

"_We'll be together always, won't we?" asked Rinoa as they made their way down the dark hall. He glanced at her and gazed into her cinnamon eyes._

"_As long as I'm alive," he answered. They would always be together. He'd die before he let that happen._

_The two gazed at each other as they walked. It was though the only thing that existed was them. He was with the one he loved. And nothing, not even Hyne, could change that._

"_Watch it!" came Seifer's voice. The two lifted their hold on one another's eyes and stared at him. Quistis was on the ground, papers scattered around her body._

"_You ran into me," she retorted as she began to rise from the ground. "Why don't you watch it?"_

_Squall rolled his eyes. The two had not been getting along at all. Why couldn't they act as old as they were? Seifer and Quistis had been at each other's throats since their infamous date. Apparently, it had been a complete disaster._

"_Whatever. You shouldn't be walking around this late at night without your eyeglasses Quistis. You know you're as blind as a bat without them." Seifer chuckled as Quistis knelt on her knees and picked up the loose white paper dispersed around her._

"_Well, I may have trouble keeping my eyes in check, but at least I don't have a problem with keeping my mouth in check." Seifer shut his mouth and glared ahead of him. It was then that he spotted Rinoa and Squall._

"_Well, if it isn't my two buddies?" he laughed. He walked closer to both of them. As he got nearer, Squall could smell the faint odor of liquor._

"_Have you been drinking?" Rinoa asked. Seifer shrugged his shoulders._

"_Just a few. I swear. I don't have a problem." He crossed his heart and held up his hand like a boy scout._

_Squall's eyes traveled over to Quistis who was still sorting through the pile of strewn documents. Her usually neat and clean hair looked untidy and unwashed. Dark circles hung under her eyes, and small scratches on her forearms. Sweat stuck to her brow with her skin abnormally white._

"_You okay Quistis?" Rinoa questioned over Seifer's shoulder. "You look really pale," she observed._

"_Yeah, I need a vacation," Quistis answered as she stood and tucked the pile of messy papers under her right arm._

"_When was the last time you even had one?" Squall laced his fingers with Rinoa's. Quistis stared off into space for a few moments. Bitting her bottom lip, she took her free hand and drew her hair away from her face. _

"_I really don't remember," She replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with Headmaster Cid."_

"_Wow, aren't we the bitchy one?" Seifer smirked. Quistis stopped and stared him straight in the eye._

"_Shut up you lousy drunk." _

_His smile vanished. His eyes flashed dangerously and his nostrils twitched._

"_Quistis, don't waste your time," Squall interrupted. "He's wasted." _

"_No, no. It's okay Squall." Seifer growled. "After all, what can I expect from the ice queen?"_

"_All right, knock it off," Rinoa stated quietly. Seifer didn't seem to hear her. Instead, he took a step closer to Quistis._

"_You were the worst date I've ever had. I can't believe I even thought about taking you out." Quistis kept her gaze away from him. Her eyes fixed on a small dot of dirt on the ground. Squall squinted to try and see whether or not she was crying._

"_I guess I know better now," he continued. "No one loves you."_

_The room was deathly silent. Seifer bent his knees and looked under her bowed head for any sings of tears. She turned her face aside. Pressing her lips together, she clenched her hands. Satisfied, Seifer stood up tall on his feet and simpered_.

"_You can't get mad because it's the truth." _

_Quistis's head snapped up. Her eyes very clear and dry. The papers under her arm fell to the floor again as she brought back her arm, and with surprising strength, rammed her fists into Seifer's chest. He didn't let out a sound as his body flew backwards and onto the side bench along the hallway. His body tumbled over the bench, crashing into a pile of decorative plants. Dirt from the pots spilled over his clean, white clothes._

_His head faced her as he lay on the ground. Face completely blank. A few clumps of soil fell from his blond hair._

"_Beaten by a girl. I guess we know who's the better fighter," Quistis whispered. "You can't get mad because it's the truth."_

_Leaving the papers where they were this time, Quistis stepped between Rinoa and Squall. Her head held high. Squall made a mental note never to piss her off as Seifer had._

_**I I I**_

_Squall stared into the pond at his own reflection. And decided . . . that he looked bad. Not only had he gotten the crap beaten out of him by Selphie in training, but he had eaten a bad hotdog that morning and now felt sick. Sitting down to wash his face, he tucked his legs behind him._

"_Don't get too close, or you'll fall in," said Quistis as she stood in back of him. Squall jerked in surprise and put his hands in the pond to keep from falling in. He heard Quistis let out a soft giggle._

"_Where did you come from?" Squall asked as he wiped his hands off on his coat._

"_I'm your stalker. Didn't you know?" Squall smiled. Sometimes her sarcasm was surprisingly straight faced. He wasn't sure if she was joking, or being serious. "I was thirsty, so I came down here to get a drink. And I found you." She walked up beside him._

"_You always know where to find me. I go to sleep: you're there. I wake up: you're there. I go to fight, and you're there. Fighting right beside me." He dipped his hands in the pond and splashed the cold water on his cheeks._

"_I think you like the fact that I constantly by your side," Quistis joked. Squall hid his smile in his hands._

_The truth was, he did like Quistis. She had become a great friend to him. She was strong, loyal. And she never, ever, made him feel like he was inferior. After he and Rinoa had broken up, she never pressured him to get help. Or to cry on someone's shoulder. She kept quiet and let him be. He had liked that. He had liked that a lot._

"_Are you serious? I feel like you are one of my groupies." He scrubbed at his face with his hands in hope to get the sweat off. A nauseated feeling overtook him. He held still, wishing it would pass._

"_Are you sick?" Quistis's voice suddenly broke his concentration. Squall shook his head and continued dashing water on his face._

"_Yeah, I think I had some bad food."_

"_Well, if you're going to puke, you might as well puke here." He felt her hand touch his shoulder to keep him steady. It was a good thing too. Otherwise, he would've fallen right into the pond._

"_Thank you," he muttered._

"_No problem."_

_Squall sat back on the ground and took in a few deep breaths. _

_The sun felt good on his face as he let the light kiss him. A few beads of sweat rolled down his forehead, mixed with the cool pond water. The front of his shirt was now soaked making it itch against his chest. He brought up his nails and scratched just above where his shirt buttoned. He looked down and saw red streaks where his nails and been. Turning his eyes up, she noticed that Quistis was staring at him intently._

"_Do I still have dirt on my face?"_ _He rubbed his jaw to feel if any dust was still there. _

"_Oh! No. I was just . . . thinking." She turned her head away and blushed putting her hand under her nose, she scratched the tip of her nose with her gloved finger. Squall saw that she had small streaks of dirt on her neck._

"_You have some dirt on your neck," Squall said. Quistis's hand found its way up to her neck. She rubbed at it with her glove. It was still there._

"_Do I still have it?" she asked. Squall nodded._

"_Yeah, it's still there." She tried to rub it off again, but no avail. _

"_Now is it gone?" Squall chuckled and shook his head._

"_Here, let me see." Squall pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed the end of it into the pond. Walking on his knees toward her, he cupped her chin with his free hand and pulled her head to her left, exposing her neck._

_Carefully, he applied the wet rag on the bottom of her jaw. Tenderly wiping the dirt off her creamy throat. Intently, he brushed a few strands of hair away that were clinging to her collarbone. Sweeping it lightly across her skin, he noticed the drops of water rolling down her chest disappearing under the collar of her shirt. A few dribbles of sweat fell from his face and onto her lips. He stared at her to apologize but noticed that her eyes were closed. Unconsciously, she ran her tongue over her bottom lips where his drips had landed._

_She had the richest lips he had ever seen. He couldn't understand why. She usually had pink lips. But today, they were a deep red. She wasn't wearing any lipstick. He then noticed how she drew her lips in and would suck them briefly. When she would return them, they would be swollen and scarlet. She did it every few minutes as he washed away the dried mud on her skin._

_The hallow of her cheekbones sent shadows cascading down her face. He didn't realize how slow he was swiping the handkerchief under her jaw. He wasn't aware how close his face was to hers. Her long lashes draped over her cheeks fluttered as his breath touched her flesh. The tips of his ragged hair tickling her chin._

_Her mouth parted and she inhaled very slowly. Her chest rose, making her entire body press briefly against his. Squall was shaking. She exhaled, and a scorching burst of air slipped past his ear. A small tingling began in his stomach and spread throughout his body. His fingers growing sweaty under her jaw. The wet cloth was making his other fingers wrinkled from holding it so long._

_A breeze blew past them making the sweat on the back of his neck cold. He shivered, but the heat between their bodies was making him perspire more than he ever had in his entire life. He had altogether stopped wiping the dirt off her, but he did not know it. _

_He didn't know how the light had turned from sunny to red because of the setting sun. He didn't feel the cool air giving him goose bumps. He wasn't aware of the time he had spent watching Quistis's mouth tremble because of the cold. He wasn't there. Yet, he had never felt more alive._

"_Did you get it all?" her tone made him spring back from her in start. Her eyes were dark in the shadows._

"_What?" he stared dumbly at her._

"_The dirt. Did you get it all?" She brought her hand up again and rubbed it quickly over her skin._

"_Oh, yeah. I got it all. You had a lot of dirt. It was hard to get off." Quistis eyeballed him throughly._

"_We need to get you back to the camp. You look really sick." Squall didn't quite hear her. He was still fixed on those crimson lips._

"_Sick?" Why would he feel sick?_

"_Yes," she stretched her words out. "You are sweating really badly. And you're extremely pale. But your cheeks are all flushed."_

_Squall had forgotten about being sick. Why had he forgotten? A moment ago he had felt so good. He felt like he was on some sort of drug. What had changed it? A squirming sensation in his belly didn't feel bad like it had before. It felt . . . wonderful. And his heart was beating faster than it had when he had ran five miles uphill._

_Rubbing his eyes, he let out a sigh. He was dizzy. Like he had been in some kind of trance. The last few moments were like a blur to him. A pleasant blur at that. Like he was falling deeper and deeper into a spell._

"_Come on. Lets get back to camp." She grabbed his shirt sleeve rather roughly and pulled him up. "I swear, you make me so worried sometimes."_

"_You worried? About me?" Squall laughed. That was impossible._

"_Yes worried about you. That happens when you care about someone." Squall walked a little bit behind her and then stopped completely._

"_You care about me?" he must have looked as astonished as he felt because when Quistis turned around to look at him, she let out a loud whoop. Clutching her belly, she staggered backwards._

"_Of course I do! You ass!" she cackled._

"_Why?" He looked her up and down, not believing that someone like her would care about him._

"_I don't know." She shrugged. "Perhaps it happened during our big adventure last year. I've always cared about you. But these past few months. I feel like we have created a bond or something." She stopped laughing. A very serious expression took over her face. "I feel like you care a little bit more about the people you work with."_

"_I do," Squall admitted. _

_Since he had gotten involved with Rinoa, he had learned to depend on other people. And upon doing that, he saw that they were people just like him. They had emotions. They had interest. They weren't there to annoy him or pester him. They were there to help him. They had always been there. He just hadn't seen it before._

_Rinoa may have been gone. But the attention he now saw in other people hadn't left. He liked how Selphie never ceased to be happy. Or at least try to be happy. He saw that despite his lady-killer image, Irvine was quite a down to earth guy who wanted one woman. That Zell never could give up. It was in his nature to try even when it was sure he would fail. Even Seifer. In spite of his tough exterior, he was really a softie. That is, when he wasn't drunk._

_And then there was Quistis. . ._

_All his life, he had only seen her as a peeve. Holding him back, talking him down, and never giving him any room to breathe. But in reality, she was one of the most important people to him. She had always been there. She could've left, many, many times. Yet, here she was. Standing before him, leading him back to camp._

_She was the only one who really knew what he had been through. The only one who could endure his attitude. Not even Rinoa endured him the way Quistis had. That was one of the reasons that he had driven her away. He never told her his thoughts, his wants. With Quistis, he didn't need to say anything.She knew. _

_Because she was so much like him. _

_She knew about pain. She knew about loneliness. And she knew about heartache. She just didn't express it as openly as he did. She wore a mask about her. She didn't let people get close. Sure, she let them think they got close. But she fooled them all. Even him. He remembered one night at the campfire, they had been chatting and she let him see a part of her. A real part of her._

"_Sometimes," she had said. "I start to crack and I have to rush into my dorm before I turn back into myself."_

_He had been so dazed that she had said that. She wasn't fake. But he had noticed that she hardly ever talked about herself. She would always let other people talk about themselves, but never about her. Over the past few weeks, he was slowly able to unwrap her. He was able to expose her for what she really was. And he liked who she really was._

_He liked her very much._

"_Are you coming?" Once again, her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "We need to get you into bed before you get even more sick than you already are."_

"_Yeah." He smiled at her. A real, genuine smile. "I'll be right there."_

_Perhaps he should thank Rinoa for releasing that side of him. Because it if weren't for her, he never_ _would had seen Quistis._

_**I I I**_

"_What are you doing to me?" she whispered in his ear. He ran his lips over her jaw and back down her neck. _

"_I'm kissing you," he sighed, tracing his fingers up her back. He nipped her bottom lip with his own and she moaned. Kissing the corner of her mouth, he inhaled as he brushed his mouth over her cheek._

"_You're playing a dangerous game," she hushed into his hair as he let the flesh from the front of her neck slip between his lips. "We could be seen."_

"_I know. That's what makes it fun." He let_ _his fingers dance over her stomach. She out_ _a light chuckle. He'd forgotten that she was ticklish there._

_He let his lips taste hers. And she kissed him back. Her fingers curling in his hair. He let out a sharp breath. Grabbing her hips_, _she opened her mouth to accept his._ _Her whispers and moans made him quiver with excitement. _

_The hair on his neck stood on end and his heart felt as though it would explode. She tasted so sweet._

_Startled suddenly, she pulled away and licked her lips. His head still in her hands, her eyes shifted over to her right._

"_Someone's coming." He stopped to listen. She was right. Someone was coming. Their heavy footsteps fell dramatically on the ground. Reluctantly, he sprang away from her._

_Whoever it was, they sounded like they were in a hurry. He expected to see Seifer, or Cid, or even Zell but instead. . ._

"_Squall? Quistis? What are you guys doing out so late?" Selphie asked as she came flying around the corner._

"_Huh, I thought I heard a noise. So I told Squall and he came out to look and see if someone was in the corridor." Selphie looked frightened at Quistis's words._

"_You heard someone? Like . . . a burglar?"_

"_Yea-yeah." She was a terrible liar. "That's what I heard."_

"_Oh, I better lock my doors tonight. I don't want any of my valuables stolen. That would suck." Her words may've been funny, but her facial expression wasn't. _

"_You might want to get to bed in a hurry. He could be hiding," Squall said with a straight face. Selphie gulped once and turned toward her dorm. _

"_Don't you two stay out too long. I don't want to find your bodies hacked up in the morning." And with that she disappeared into her room. _

_Squall turned back toward Quistis._ _She smiled and raised her eyebrow seductively at him in return._

"_Now that she's gone . . . " She slid her arms around his shoulders._

"_Where were we?" He leaned in to kiss her once more. It was a soft kiss. Filled with tenderness and love. Not passionate as before. His lips discovering and memorizing hers. She finally pulled away and stared at him intently. Her eyes searching his._

"_I love you," he shushed. His palms cradling the small of her back. Her face fell, only for a moment. She smiled back at him, however, it looked forced. Somehow, he knew she didn't believe it._

"_I love you." She took her fingers and smoothed his hair away from his forehead. She turned to go to bed. She didn't get far as his hand shot out and grabbed her arm. He pulled her back, so her body was pressed against his._

"_No, I don't think you understand." He stared into her eyes, forcing her to gaze back. Seeking her face, he wanted her to believe him. "I love you. You know that. I love you. Not Rinoa. You, and only you." He believed every word he spoke, but did she?_

"_I know," she whispered, but her eyes were filled with tears. And when she smiled, her mouth trembled_. _She twisted her hand so he'd release it. Not in a violent way, but softly. As she drew it back, she lightly grabbed his fingers and gave them a gentle squeeze._

_Stepping forward, he kissed her forehead. She let him. And her hand traced the lining on his jacket. As he finished his calm kiss, he rested his forehead on hers. What could he say or do to make her believe him? He was planning on asking her to be his wife. Maybe she would believe him then. Even so, he didn't want her to think that the only reason he wanted to marry her was so he could prove his loyalty_.

_He wanted her. He needed her. He loved her. He had never really thought of marriage with Rinoa. Yet with Quistis. Squall craved it. To be that dedicated to someone was enough to make him fall on his knees and ask her right then and there. But if he was going to ask her, he would have to ask her right. So when she pulled away from him, he said nothing._

"_Goodnight, Squall." She ran her hand down his cheek and vanished into her room._

"_Goodnight, Quistis."_

_**I I I**_

Someone groaned. Squall rubbed his sleepy eyes as he awoke from his dream. He had never had a dream so strange. It was as though all his memories of Quistis had been sequenced in his mind. Every one of those memories had been real. Although, he had experienced them all over again. He remembered how he felt about Rinoa before, and how he felt about Quistis.

The rain thudded outside his window. And that reminded him why he had woken up. He had to pee.

Standing up, his back screamed in protest. All of his muscles were sore and he collapsed back into his chair. Why the hell was he asleep in a chair? He looked around him. He was in the hospital wing. He glanced at the bed beside him. Quistis lay on her back, her face turned away from him. His heart fell as he remembered why he was in the room.

Despite the terrible pain in his back, Squall stood and sat on Quistis bedside. She looked so peaceful. More peaceful than she had looked in. . . . since Squall could remember. Her mouth was formed beautifully. She shifted slightly and that startled him. And in another way, comforted him. She was only asleep. Asleep and she was going to be okay.

Staring at her, Squall pulled her hair way from her face. He did that a lot. But he loved to do it. He loved to make excuses so he could touch her hair. She wasn't just a beautiful woman. She was his wife. And he was allowed to touch his wife.

Bending down, he placed a faint kiss on her lips. It lingered there longer than he had wanted it to. Unexpectedly her mouth opened and she kissed back. He was so astounded that he stared down at her as she continually worked her lips over his. Her soft tongue caught his attention and he began to mimic her actions. He placed his hand on her waist, her arms stayed still but her mouth gradually kissed him deeper and deeper.

Maybe Quistis was a witch. And had put some sort of spell over him. Squall smiled at that thought. She did have a way of putting him in a trance. It was her he was in love with. It was her he was kissing.

The sound the door opening of the hospital wing made Squall leap away from her. She moaned and turned her head on her side.

"There you are," Rinoa said as she walked into the room. "I've been looking everywhere for you." Her eyes fell on Quistis. "So, is she going to be okay?"

"Yeah, the doctor said she was going to be fine. I guess she just needed to sleep it off or something." Squall wasn't aware that he was rubbing his mouth over his lips.

"So, why did you stay here with her?" Rinoa walked over to Quistis's bedside. "You've been here for a few hours."

Squall's throat tightened and his eyes snapped open in panic.

"I'm supposed to evaluate here. Cid has been badgering me for my report. I need to know when she wakes up so I can get it from her." He was impressed at how well he could lie on the spot.

"And you're just gonna bombard her with questions as soon as she comes out of it? You really are a hard-ass, aren't you? You should at least let her rest a little and – what's wrong, why are you sweating?"

Damn. Possibly he wasn't as good as a liar as he thought he was. Squall ran the back of his hand over his forehead which was slicked with sweat. It was so bad that it was dribbling into his eyes and making them sting.

"It's really hot in here. I fell asleep. You know how your body temperature rises as you sleep." Now he was being stupid. And completely unconvincing at that. However, it seemed good enough for Rinoa.

"Yeah well, make sure you let her breathe a little before you evaluate her. Anyway, I came here to give you this." She handed him a small slip of paper.

"What's this?" He took it from her. Upon close up inspection, he found that it was a pink envelope with the words "Confidential" written across in bold black letters.

"It's your statement."

"My statement?" He looked up at her confused. She shook her head as though she were gathering her thoughts.

"I know, it's weird. But because this accident was so freakish, it is mandatory for everyone to give a statement in case the injured decides to– how should I put this– withdraw money from the Garden."

"You mean in case she sues us?" Rinoa nodded. "Interesting. But Quistis wouldn't do that. She's not manipulative."

"Of course she's not. But like I said before, it's mandatory. I have to give one, so does Irvine." She looked him up and down. "Well, I guess that's it."

Squall didn't look up. Instead, he was studying the paper. "I guess it is." Rinoa shifted awkwardly. "How about those who were stuck in the lift?"

"Irvine finally got them out. After much 'persuasion.'" She spun on her heel to leave. "That's weird." Squall looked up from the envelope.

"What?" He followed her gaze. It was on Quistis.

"The bottom button of her blouse in undone. I wonder how that happened." She stepped closer to it to examen it more solidly. "Her blouse was buttoned when she was carried away to the hospital wing."

If she hadn't been staring so hard at Quistis's blouse, she would've noticed him blushing. Squall shoved his hand in his pocket and turned away. He must've gotten a little too carried away when he was kissing her. That happened a lot. He mentally kicked himself for being so stupid. How could he have been so careless? To actually undress his wife in such a public place?

"That is quite a odd thing isn't it?" Squall choked. "I guess it came undone when the doctor examined her."

"Of course, that's it." Rinoa stood up and gave Squall a soft smile. Good. She bought it.

Automatically, he reached out to touch her button. Thankfully he stopped before his hand got to it. It stayed in midair for a moment, then he slowly pulled it back. He turned his head trying hard not to goggle Quistis's navel.

"Are you okay?" Rinoa asked.

"Yeah, it's just kinda weird. Could you huh, ya know?" He nodded his head toward her button.

"Oh! Yes! Sorry." She moved over and he turned his eyes away as Rinoa buttoned Quistis's blouse for her.

"Thanks," Squall muttered. Rinoa didn't say another word as she strolled out of the hospital wing.

With her gone, Squall dragged his feet back over to the chair in the corner of the room. Throwing his head back, Squall stared up at the ceiling. He was now fully awake. The dots on the roof made Squall dizzy. He imagined what it would be like to be a spider, crawling along those dots. He wasn't sure how long he was thinking these insane thoughts. It felt like forever.

"Mmm." Squall darted his eyes toward Quistis's bed. Did she just make a noise?

Slowly, he rose and crossed the room. Sitting himself down on her bed, he reached out and took her small hand. It seemed so weak. Not at all like the Quistis he knew. There was something different about her. Even as she lay on the bed, there was something odd.

"Quistis?" he whispered. She gulped a few times and pressed her lips together. He gave her hand a squeeze. She groaned and fluttered her eyelids. The light hurt them and she closed them quickly.

Squall clicked off the lamp beside her. The rain was now falling heavily outside. It was disturbing him.

"Wake up. Quistis, you're gonna be alright."

"What?" Her voice seemed groggy. She focused her head and squinted at him. "Where am I?"

"You're resting in the infirmary. You'll be fine." Squall smiled at her. "You just need your rest." However, she didn't listen to him. Sitting up the best she could, she leaned forward and put her head in her hands.

"What happened?" Her voice was muffled by her hands.

"You took a nasty spill but you'll be okay." Squall placed his strong hand on her back. To his surprise, she flinched and sharply winced away. "Quistis?" He leaned forward to look in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Who are you?"

_**To be continued. . .**_

_**A/N: Oooo! I told you last chapter was important! Haha. Don't worry. I have my next chapter all planned out. Thanks to all those reviewed. And to all those who told be that the Doctor is a SHE not a HE. I could make a ton of jokes about that. . .but I won't.**_


	6. Weapons

**In Secret**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Belong to Squarsoft and Aqua Teen Hunger Force.**

**A/N: Please, don't have a heart attack. I am here! I would never leave you. Truth be told, I've been kind of depressed lately. I just haven't got the urge to write. I've updated a few stories that I really needed to. But no one reads them. Here, with the Quall fans, is where my home is. I think I'm going to put all my other fics on hold until this one is finished. . .Yes finished. (With the exception of Dark Days, Black Nights, I just have too much fun writing that.) So I'm going to have to buckle down and get this done. **

**I can't express how sorry I am for not finishing. Whenever I see that someone reviewed, I get so excited. I've really started to question my writing skills and just thought there wasn't a point anymore. However, a few reviewers started to pester me (and I'm so glad they did) to start again. You know who you are.;)**

**Chapter Six:**

He stared at her. It hadn't quite registered what she had said. The last words that fell from those full lips seem to echo in the silent room. Tilting his head, he moved his body closer to her. No, she couldn't have said that. Quistis would never. . .She bolted a tad bit when she saw him advancing on her. Her action confirmed his worse fear. But still, he had to hear her say it again.

"What?" Squall whispered. Quistis gazed at him as if he were a dangerous snake. Eyeing him with an uncharacteristically shrewd expression, she dipped her head low to look into his eyes.

"Look, I don't know you. So– " she held her hands out in front of her as he inched slightly forward. "please stop."

Parting her pink lips, she took in a shaky breath. When she did, her chest rattled. Quickly, her tender hands flew to her collar and she winced in pain. Closing her eyes briefly, Quistis slid her smooth fingers over her pale skin while swiftly ran her tongue across her teeth. Her lashes fluttered open and she continued to peer sharply at him.

"My head hurts." she sighed. The tips of her nails grazed the small bandage that was wrapped snugly around her brow. "Where am I again?" she asked weakly, staring at her surroundings.

"You fell." Squall answered rapidly. "Quistis, what do you mean? You don't know me?"

Quistis dropped her arms to her side and let her eyes travel over Squall's features. He gaped back. Gazing into her icy irises, they held nothing but pure nativity and ignorance. Everything they had ever made together was gone. He immediately shot that idea out of his mind. So what if Quistis's eyes were slightly hollow? That could just be a side effect of her concession. Perhaps her not being able to recognize him was just her coming out of her deep slumber. Once she fully awoke, she'd see him and throw her arms around him. She would plant delicious kisses all over his face. Whispering to him for comfort while coaxing him into making love to her on the hospital bed.

Perhaps. . . .

"Am I supposed to?" she asked uncertainly.

Bitting her bottom lip, her expression changed from suspicious to worried. Bringing her fingers away from her forehead, she ran them gently down her tender lips. The cast of her face caught in horrid realization. She turned her eyes to Squall, who was watching her studiously. A terrorizing sensation was spreading throughout him, shooting up and down from his head to his toes, paralyzing his insides.

She was blank. Everything was white. There was no depth in her sparkling sapphires. No wisdom in her countenance. Not a trace of experience clung to her poster. All of her being seemed to glow with unfamiliarity. A ghastly idea swept through his mind before he could so much as cast it out. This was not his wife. This was not his Quistis. This girl. . . . was not the woman who he had spent last night with. She was blank.

Shaking his head slightly, he tried to wake himself up from this nightmare. Trying to rid himself of this hateful dream. She had finally come home to him. She was back in his arms once more. He had thought nothing could keep them apart now. This wasn't real. He'd wake up, she'd remember, and they'd continue their life together. Everything they had endured in the last year couldn't just fly out of her because of a tiny bump on her head. It was silly! It was ludicrous!

_But it was happening. _

She couldn't forget all those hot kisses they had shared in the dark. All the touching. The whispers and gasps. Quistis couldn't lose the solid bond they had shared for so long now. He couldn't lose it. Squall had worked too hard to be with her. They had sacrificed. . .risked so much to be married. And now he was about to get it taken away from him in less than twenty-four hours?

"Sir?" Quistis's voice suddenly startled him. "Are you okay?"

Sir. . . Not honey. Not darling. Not even Squall. . .Sir.

Determination began to rush through his body like lava. Boiling in his stomach, fire coursing in his veins. She would remember. He wouldn't lose her. Not now. Not when he had found true love in his best friend. Making a sharp move, he grasped her fragile hand with his strong one. She jumped in surprise and tried weakly to pull away. Squall gripped her tighter, not willing to let her go.

"What are you doing?" Quistis whimpered. Her tone was so scared, he was sure she would faint in his arms. He could feel her shaking like a terrified puppy. Her hand quivered and her voice shook as he burned his eyes into hers.

"Look at me." he demanded. His voice soft but firm. She did. Fear he never knew Quistis Trepe could feel reflected back at him. Never, in all the years he had known her, had she looked so petrified. Squall could see her mind working furiously. Trying to read his thoughts. "What's my name?"

Her head shook slightly. Telling him she couldn't think. He clasped fast to her tiny hands. Gravely forcing himself to stare deeper into her.

"What's my name?" he repeated. She winced in pain at his grip.

"I don't– I don't know." the fright in her voice was becoming stronger. Her gaze was now fixed on her hands, at her knuckles that were now turning white. "Please let me go."

Panic was winding inside his mind. She couldn't tell him his name. Perhaps if he reminded her, it would spark her memory. Quistis was now vainly tearing her cold hands away from his sweaty palms. However, he was much too strong for her.

"My name's Squall." His heart was hammering against his ribcage. Now his brow was perspiring more than ever. "Squall Leonhart." the words flowed from his lips like wine. They dripped and he knew he'd spill some on her. Squall's tongue was so thick, making it hard for him to form a sentence. "You know that name, right?"

She was trembling terribly now. Her entire body quaking uncontrollably against his. He had to fight to breathe. Just last night he had felt her skin do this. . . but under much different circumstances. Regaining a grip on himself, he forced her to look at him.

"No. I don't know that name." Quistis responded trying to level her twittering voice. Her eyes were now glassy and dim. Her lips quivered as her breath shakily drew away. A large burden weighed down on his shoulders.

"Yes you do." his voice wasn't soft anymore. Everything in him was rising. She had to remember. . .she couldn't forget. He'd help her. Help her to see what she was saying. Help her to understand the lunacy of it all.

"You're hurting me." she pleaded. At the sight of a clear drop of water trickling from her lashes, Squall slid his fingers gently from her hands up to her forearms, wrapping around them firmly.

"Say my name." he said loudly. She moved her head from side to side, telling him she wouldn't. "Say my name!" now he was almost shouting.

If she said it, it would come back to her. All they had shared. Everything the two had endured. . . together and apart. If she only just said his name.

"Stop it!" she cried. Quistis began to wrench herself away from him. Trying as hard as she could to get some distance between them. Yet, he was much too heavy.

The weight of the air was now hurting him. His hands moved upward and clung to her shoulders. Trying to get her to settle down. She didn't. Shoving her hands into his chest, she feebly pushed him away, a scowl appearing on her face when she saw that he wouldn't budge. His heart fell into his belly. If she were really his Quistis, he'd be flat on his back, panting because she had knocked the wind out of him. Not fruitlessly swatting him away like a pesky fly.

No. Squall wasn't going to give up yet. Shaking her violently; hoping to arouse some automatic battle skills, the clip in her hair fell, making her honey hair fall messily into her bloodshot eyes.

"Get away!" All her strength began to pour out of her as she smacked him as hard as she could. Striking his shoulders. His stomach. Even his neck. Alas, she didn't even get him to wince. "Let me go!"

"Look at me!" he bellowed. His lungs were beginning to suffocate with the thick atmosphere. If she just stared into his eyes like she had last night. If she whispered his name, everything would come back to her. "My name is Squall Leonhart! Tell me you know that name! Say it!"

Her thrashing claws raked over his chest. He could feel her stomach twist against his. She was gasping as she tried to breathe. Her legs rose up from the bed and she jammed them into his sides. It didn't hurt. None of the blows he was receiving hurt. Even so, Squall had never been in so much pain. The truth was starting to overpower his senses. His heart was set to stone and he knew that his life was about to change. . .for the worst.

Still, he had to try.

"Tell me you know who I am!"

His hands were now rush over her neck. To her jaw. And finally resting on each side of her face. Her soft hair wilting underneath his fingers. Quistis's face was hot and flushed. Now her body convulsed in alarm and confusion. He could feel the turmoil raging off her.

"Tell me you recognize me." Squall's tone calmed. Just as soon as the words dribbled from his lips, Quistis settled her limbs. She faintly pushed against him. Her shoulders hunched and her head sagged like an infant who had misbehaved. "Please. . ." something in Squall's throat tightened.

He had never felt this way since his childhood. A painful knot developed just above his Adams-apple and he tried to swallow it away. Then, a faint stinging entered the corners of his eyes. He shut his lids tight, willing it to stop. After a moment, he noticed that he was shaking just as bad as Quistis. He wanted it to stop, he attempted it to stop. But it didn't

The whole day's events seem to flood through him. His reunion with Quistis. . . .Her lips over his. . . .The feel of her hands sliding down his back. . . .The sound of her voice. . . .Telling him she loved him. . . .Her smile. . . . Seeing her body convulse as she coughed up blood. . . .Watching her fall. . . .The sickening thud as she landed on the Garden floor. . . .Laying deathly still on the bed. . . .The fear in her eyes as she peered into his face. . . .

The stinging in his eyes became stronger. He twisted his face. Willing it to go away.

Quistis had stopped struggling. He could feel her eyes glaring intently at him. For the first time that night, he wished she would look away. She was pressed tightly against him. Her heart beating softer and softer as her breathing slowed. The quivering of her skin was now down to a dull shiver. Opening his eyes, he gazed desperately into hers. She still looked scared. Her eyebrows netted together apprehensively. Wondering what he would do next.

"Please tell me you know me." he sighed.

She tilted her head. He fought the urge to stroke her untidy hair away from her beautiful face. Her long bangs framed her features, sending shadows cascading over her. Quistis blinked, gulped, and parted her delicate lips.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. Two tears slid down her smooth cheeks. "I'm sorry, I don't know you." she then broke down completely.

The air that had been so heavy suddenly crashed all around them. He couldn't breathe. Squall was sure his heart had died when a females voice made him jump.

"What is going on?"

Dr. Kadowaki stood in the doorway with an expression of mixed rage and confusion. He pulled away from a shattered Quistis who was now weeping silently into her hands. Kadowaki's gaze traveled from Squall. . .to Quistis. . .and back to Squall again. Her usually smooth face looking haggard and worn.

"Leave now Mr. Leonhart." Kadowaki pointed at the doorway. He stalked quietly into the hall, trying not to listen to Quistis's heartbreaking sobs.

_**I I I**_

"Did I scare you?" Zell asked slyly to a very peeved Seifer. Zell had just attempted to pull one of his kung-foo moves, letting his foot stop about three centimeters from Seifer's face.

"No." he replied irritated. "What's the word that's the exact opposite of scary?"

Zell stared off into space, and blank utterance smeared on his tattooed face.

"Tacos?"

Seifer rolled his eyes. The power was finally up and running again. It only took till six o'clock this evening. Everyone in the garden had been freezing their backsides off. The storm wasn't getting any better as well. It had been an entire twenty-four hours since it had first begun. And it was still going strong. Not that he minded. Storms were especially romantic. Seifer needed any romantic excuse he could find to be with Rinoa.

Almost everything reminded him of Rinoa. The blackness of the clouds shown in her stormy hair. The dark sky reflected her deep eyes. Even the way the hallway lights dimmed warmly made him think of her smile. He was happy to be with her. No matter that he had taken her away from. . .

"Hey! Is that Squall?" Zell shouted, cutting though Seifer's concentration.

He squinted, trying to follow Zell's gaze. It was hard to see. The vague haze of a man sitting on a bench through the glowing low lights came in clearer as the two got closer. The stranger was sitting with his head in his hands. His scraggly hair falling every which way. His coat was off and onto the floor making his white shirt shine in the dark hall. Yes, it certainly was Squall.

Speak of the Devil. . . .

"Hey Squall! What's up?" Zell inquired gleefully, slapping him on the back. Squall, however, didn't appear to even hear him.

"He wuss!" Seifer prodded, trying to get his attention. "Why are you sitting here so late?"

Just then, Seifer looked up to see that Squall was sitting right across from the hospital wing. Immediately, he felt like an asshole. Squall was probably having to aid some rookie solder who had gotten wounded in training.

"Are you okay?" he tried again, softening his voice. This time, he got Squall's notice. Lifting his head up, he peered oddly at Seifer and Zell, his hands covering his nose and mouth.

"Quistis had an accident." he muttered, his voice muffled by his fist.

Seifer was a bit startled at that. He had heard a high officer had gotten injured while trying to rescue a few kids. Nonetheless, he hadn't seen Rinoa and Irvine since this morning and had no idea who it was. He had thought it had been someone who he didn't know. Not Quistis. Not the woman who could kick any man's ass. His included.

"Oh that's right!" Zell piped in. "I heard a female cadet was hurt this morning!"

"Is she okay?" Seifer felt a pang of guilt fly into his chest. He had not treated Quistis very well in the last few months. True, the two seemed to have some unspoken truce since their little spat. But he could never forget how he had treated her on their last date. And when he had gotten wasted.

"I don't know." Squall grunted.

Perhaps Seifer had imagined it, but something flashed behinds Squall's eyes that he had never seen before.

He looked terrified.

Just then, Dr. Kadowaki rounded the corner from the hospital room. Dark circles hung under her hazel eyes. Her mouth was set, and her lips were pressed together tightly making her mouth look like a deep scar. Squall stood slowly, wobbling a bit like his knees were made of silicon.

"What happened?" was all that fell from his mouth.

Kadowaki looked at him over her specticals. A rather annoyed indication cast over her face. Her mouth slightly open, eyebrows raised, she took a step nearer to the three of them.

"She's got amnesia." She said it simply, as though she were telling him what the weather looked like outside.

"You're joking." Zell hushed. His eyes were bigger than when the cafeteria was fresh out of hotdogs.

"I wish I was." Kadowaki sighed. She ran her long hand over her tired face. "I hate this, I feel like I'm in a damn Soap Opera."

"I thought you said that she had traces of Paramox in her system?" Squall asked, his eyes round like saucers.

"She did. But that's not what gave her amnesia. It probably occurred when she wacked her head after she tumble down the stairs."

Silence followed this. Neither of them knew what to say. What could they say? Seifer shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other while he stared fixedly at the ground.

"What the hell did you do to her anyway?" Seifer glanced up. Kadowaki was staring at Squall who, in turn, had turned away.

"What do you mean?" Seifer asked. Kadowaki veered her eyes to him.

"I went in there to see how Miss Trepe was doing. When I walked in, she was sitting with Mr. Leonhart on the bed weeping." She peered back at Squall. "She was scared to death, poor thing."

"I didn't mean to scare her!" Squall snapped. His mouth turned down and his eyes blazed. Upon seeing Kadowaki's expression, he found a great interest in his shoes. "I was just confused." he tailed off. Kadowaki sighed.

"Well, so is she. She was extremely worked up. It took me forever to calm her down."

"How is she now?" asked Zell, who was staring at Squall as though he had never seen him before.

"She's resting. I would advise all of you not to disturb her." There was a pause. She seemed to be gathering her thoughts before she turned back to Squall. "I need you to tell me what happened after she woke up."

It was Squall's turn to sigh. He rubbed a rough hand over his dry mouth. It was then that Seifer noticed how exhausted he looked. His eyes were glazed at he slouched as though he were about to fall asleep standing up. Dark circles hung around his lids and his tan skin was slicked with sweat.

"She didn't recognize me." He mumbled. Staring off into space, his expression turned troublesome. "She didn't even know my name."

At this, Kadowaki pressed both her hands together. Her face look equally distressed. Stepping forward, she placed a soft hand on Squall's elbow.

"I'm afraid she couldn't tell you her own name. She doesn't know where she is. What year it is. Who she is or– "she eyed Squall up and down "who you are."

Squall buried his face in his hands.

"What are we going to do?" The doctor shrugged.

"I don't know how bad her case is, Mr. Leonhart. I'm going to have to run a few tests. After that I can tell you what to do. What I do know for sure, is that you are going to have to surround her with familiar things. Something that could possibly trigger her memory." She stared at the three of them. "You'd better go to bed. It's been a hard enough day. Get some sleep."

She turned on her heel and disappeared back into the infirmary. They started to walk back to their dorms. Seifer still couldn't believe it. Quistis had amnesia. Kadowaki was right. This was like something out of a Soap Opera. He half expected to find out that he was actually dating Rinoa's evil twin, Rinwanda. This was just too much to think about. But Quistis would be okay. Wouldn't she? After all, this was Quistis Trepe they were talking about. She was one of the strongest women in the Garden. Everything would turn out fine.

They all rounded the corner to the dorm hall.

"You think she'll be all right?" Zell quizzed, his eyes looking fearsome.

"Yeah. I mean, come on! It's Quistis." Zell nodded, but he did not look convinced.

"Yeah," he replied. "it's Quistis."

It was then that Seifer noticed that Squall was not with them.

_**I I I**_

"_I don't know about this." Quistis grinned. "I'm not usually trained for this kind of thing." She carefully turned the gunblade over in her hands as if it were a glass egg. Letting the orange light of the setting sun bounce off._

"_Well," Squall crept closer to her. The cool air of the night making him long for warmth. "I'll guess I'll have to teach you."_

_She regarded him over the rim of her glasses. One eyebrow raised, her mouth twitching ever so slightly. Squall couldn't help the fast smile that was spreading over his face. The faint odor of lilac wafted over before engulfing him completely. He skimmed the ground around him. There weren't lilacs anywhere. It was Quistis._

"_I'm more of an expert with a whip." She cracked her wrist into the air, holding her imaginary weapon._

"_Those are nice, if you're trying to tame a lion." He was now much too close to her._

_Quistis smiled._

"_With those, you can tame much more than a lion." She picked up the gunblade and aimed it at the nearest tree. The hill they were on made good target practice. Squall had used it many times during training._

"_See, you're holding it wrong." Squall chuckled. Quistis lowered it immediately. Her eyebrows raised and her mouth open. Challenging him. "Here, let me show you."_

_He inched his way around her. Pressing his stomach to her back, he let his fingers travel to her waist. She inhaled quickly, a small gasp escaped her throat in surprise. Slowly, he lay his palms flat around her sides and felt her shudder slightly. He tried his best not to do the same._

_She couldn't know how he felt. If she did, he might lose her forever._

_He hated to admit it, but his small crush on his battle companion was turning a tiny bit more complicated than he would've liked. Ever since he had finally admitted to himself his feelings for her, he had slowly found himself indulging in her company. On more than one occasion, he caught himself_ _luring her into secluded areas. Nothing big, he just wanted to spend a little alone time with her._

_And that's exactly what he was doing now._

_He still wondered if she was entirely oblivious to his infatuation with her. Once in a great while, he would catch her eyeing him suspiciously. Then he would wonder if she was aware of his little crush. Nonetheless, just as quickly as it had come, her astute glances would vanish and they would be back to enjoying one another's time. _

_Grabbing her forearms, he steadied her. The leather of her gloves made him frown. He wanted to feel her hands. . . .like last time. Fighting off the disappointment that was now ravishingly ripening in his belly, he grabbed the weapon from her._

"_Take off your gloves." he demanded softly. _

_She didn't argue with him. Not saying a word, she pulled them off carefully. Letting them fall reverently to the earth, she brushed her fingers over her mouth. After a moment of watching them on the ground, Quistis held her palm out to him, he intently gave the gunblade back to her. For only an instant did he feel her nails nick slightly over his knuckles. A mean bolt of electricity dashed rapidly to his heart._

"_Spread your feet." his mouth was traveling closer to her ear. He could feel her stray hairs tickling his lips._

_She obeyed. So not to shift her weight, he placed her boots firmly on the ground. Gently, he let his fingers journey over her warm wrists and rest on her elegant hands. Gripping them firmly about the handle of the gun, he applied pressure just atop her right hand._

"_Careful." he whispered. "You don't want it to fire early on you." she let out a nervous_ _laugh. He felt her hitch with giggles and fought down a groan._

_The scent of lilac was now clouding his vision. He could strongly feel her warm body pressed tightly next to his. Without realizing it, he bent his head down toward her neck. Her fragrance was intoxicating. There was something on her other than the familiar aroma of flowers. It was feminine. . .Womanly._

_Underneath her facade of a mighty solder; beneath the harsh mask of a worrier, was a soft, beautiful young woman. Quistis may have been able to fool everyone else, but not him. He knew her. He knew here better than anyone ever could or ever would. And that made him feel special. It made him feel wonderful to be Squall Leonhart._

_His mouth almost brushed her tender earlobe. He wanted to taste it. To savor her salty skin between his lips. Squall was completely consumed in her. The sensation of her back over his stomach. The redolence of her filling his nostrils. Her golden locks resting under his jaw. Feeling her delicate flesh under his fingers. Shivering. . .Treasuring._

"_Aim." he soughed. Quistis head tilted slightly. He could see her hair gliding over her glowing neck. His trembling mouth embarked nearer to her flesh. He couldn't help it._

_Bang!_

_Squall sprang away from her. Letting his hands fall to his sides, he stared over her shoulder to the tree with a smoking hole. Steam rouse around it, as though fog was setting in around them. Quistis turned around. The gunblade at her side. She was beaming._

"_I hit it!" she shined. Stretching out her hand, she handed him his weapon. "I guess you have some competition now." she declared with a haughty smile on her lips._

"_Don't get too confident." he replied._

"_Well," Quistis picked up a rock threw it up in air before catching it. "I suppose I'll have to teach you how to crack a whip."_

_Squall had only partly heard her. He was still thinking about the spell she had put him under. This crush was starting to get out of hand. He was going to have to make sure he didn't slip up as he had done today._

"_Yeah, I suppose you will."_

_**I I I**_

He turned the gunblade over in his hands as he sat on his bed. She never had taught him how to use her whip. He didn't let her because he was afraid of losing it again. Afraid of showing his true feelings.

He was such an idiot.

All the time he had wasted because he was terrified that he might possibly be in love. Real love. And now she didn't remember him. His chance was gone. Squall sat the gun down on his dresser and sighed. He stared at his door, expecting her to walk through as if nothing happened. Dreaming that she'd kiss him and tell him everything was all right.

Any moment he hoped he'd wake up to find Quistis resting next tohim. The ball just ending, the two continuing the celebrate their marriage. This couldn't be happening. It shouldn't be happening. If only he hadn't let her slip from his hands when she fell. If only he had taken better care of her. If only.

Squall lay flat on his back, gazing at the ceiling as he had done so many times after Rinoa had left him. Somehow, reminding himself of her too made him feel worse. It reminded him that just as something great was happening in his life; just as soon as he was happy, trouble occured, breaking it all to pieces that he couldn't possibly put back together.

_But after Rinoa left you, you found someone better. Perhaps this isn't a curse after all._ A little voice reminded him.

True. Nevertheless, Squall didn't think he was going to get that lucky again.

Rinoa was happy with Seifer. He was happy with Quistis. But now Quistis was laying alone, not knowing her own name. Scared. . .and that was all his fault. He had terrorized the shit out of her. Making her almost have a panic attack. Well, he would certainly win The Husband of the Year Award, wouldn't he? Squall cursed when he thought of how she had shook so violently. How she had fought to push him away.

Putting his head in his hands, he closed his eyes to get some sleep. But he didn't want to sleep. He just wanted to be with her. And now he couldn't be with her. Squall probably wouldn't be with her again for a long time. After that thought, he snapped.

It was one of the only times that Squall Leonhart had almost let himself cry.

To be continued. . .

**A/N: Phew! I've got that chapter done. I'll go back and proof read later. But I need to get this up now. So I hoped you all enjoyed. Let me know what you guys thought. I've still got a long way to go. But I'll wait a day or so to start my next chapter. I also put an Aqua Teen Hunger Force reference in there. All the cool people will know what it was (JK).**

**I sat down to write this chapter and I must've rewritten the first part about five times. I had one version where it was a flash back of Squall and Rinoa breaking up. I know, I know. I do the flashbacks a lot. But they're important to the story and how you see Squall and Quistis's relationship grow. I hope you guys liked. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. If you have any idea's, mail me!**

**Thanks Dave!**


	7. Rings

_**In Secret**_

_**By diddly day**_

_**A/N: Okay! Here we go! One more time! We have to celebrate. Oh yeah, all right. I was playing Final Fantasy 8 again, and I got to the part where Squall carries Rinoa on his back, and suddenly remembered why I started writing this. I found that when I write this story, despite how the game ends, this is the true way things happened. I hope you all feel the same as I do. **_

_**This next chapter is a little weird. Quistis's amnesia is a big question mark as of now. We really don't know how she will react to things, or, even though she is still Quistis, if she has the smallest shadow of her old self. I hope you keep that in mind as you read this. Enjoy!**_

_**Chapter Seven:**_

Her head still hurt like hell. But the room had finally stopped spinning. And she no longer had the desperate desire to vomit. She guessed that was probably a good sign. The best of it. . .was that she was alone. And _he _was gone.

She didn't have to be afraid. At least for now.

At the moment she didn't have to talk to anyone. All she had to do was huddle down into her cot, close her eyes, and fall asleep. However, after sleeping for a near twenty-four hours before, it wasn't coming. While the days events still swirling dramatically inside her pounding head, she decided she needed to get something to drink.

Now she stood in the room that had turned dark as night swept across outside her window. Her head in her hands, waiting for the dizziness to pass. Her tongue thick and swollen, enhancing the already chalky feeling inside her mouth. She strained to keep her neck supporting her head as she squinted through the darkened room.

Shuffling over to the small sink in the corner, she fumbled for the facet. The soothing sound of rushing water calmed her nerves, and she bent forward and splashed the cold drops on her face. She heard the window shake as the wind blew frantically outside. Placing her dry, split lips to the water, it tasted cool and clean.

For a moment, the water in her hands rifted as she saw double. But just as quickly as it had come, it passed as she continued to stare at her wet palms. Straightening her back, she abruptly felt as though an electric shock had gently sparked her mind, cutting the wires inside her brain. A sudden drowsiness over took her, and she let her eyes droop before she managed to turn around and head back to her bed.

She may not have known many things at the moment. But she did know that she had a concussion. It didn't take a genius to guess that. And she knew her name was Quistis. Not much, but for now, it was enough.

That little tidbit of information had been given to her about two hours earlier. By a stunningly pretty young woman with black hair and dark eyes. Her name was Rinoa, and she had shed much light as to who Quistis was and who that strange man was that had scared her so badly.

She had come in a little after the doctor had calmed her down. The air had grown slightly cooler as she lay her blond head on the soft pillow of her room. Weeping softly, trying to stare at the infirmary walls through her tears. In that instant, she heard the doors slide open, and the sound of another being glide next to her.

At first, Quistis just wanted whoever it was to go away. But then deciding that she needed answers, craned her throbbing head behind her to gaze at ravishing girl. Quistis couldn't help but admire Rinoa for her exotic beauty and kind heart. She gazed back down at her, a worried smile playing on her lips.

"_Quistis?" she asked softly. "Do you know who I am?"_

_Quistis shook her head. The woman frowned and placed her hands in her lap as she sat down on the bed._

"_Do you know who what your name is?"_

"_Quistis?" she tried, referring to how the stranger had addressed her earlier. The woman nodded sadly and placed her own hand on her chest._

"_My name's Rinoa." She leaned over and turned on the lamp next to Quistis's bed. The light hurt her eyes, but she kept silent. "The doctor told me that you don't remember anything." Rinoa's mouth was still turned down. "Is that true?"_

_Quistis gulped and turned her eyes to the ceiling before nodding quietly_.

"_What do you remember?" Quistis shut her eyes and tried to ignore the horrible pang behind her eyes._

"_I know basic things. What color the sky is. How to tell time. I understand English apparently," she paused. "I just don't remember who I am. Where I am. It's like I've been trapped in a white room all my life. And I just now have gotten out."_

_Rinoa was silent for a moment. Then she rested her fingers on Quistis shoulder._

"_You haven't been in a white room. You've been here. You have a life," she heard her whisper. Quistis stared at her again. She was crying._

"_Can you tell me?"_

"_Yes. And I can also help you."_

_Quistis leaned her back on her bed, closed her eyes, and listened. She could feel Rinoa shift as, she too, tried to get comfortable. At first, she seemed hesitant. As though she were trying to find the right words. But after a while, she gave up, and decided there was no fancy way to tell Quistis about her life._

"_Where you live, right now, is in a military school. It's called Balamb Garden. Before that you lived in an orphanage until you hit adolescence. You are a soldier. A cadet. You work the branch SeeD. And you're name is Quistis Trepe, as I might add." She said all this very slowly and carefully. Quistis watched her mouth dramatically form the words._

_Her own lips were shaking. A familiar feeling overtook her. A feeling she hated._

"_My name's Quistis Trepe," she repeated. Tears welled in her eyes. "That's not a very pretty name." Her throat tightened without warning. She was going to cry again. And it wasn't because of her name._

"_It's a beautiful name," Rinoa hushed. "It's your name."_

"_Do I have friends?" her voice quivered and she opened them. As the light hit them once more, she remember why she had shut them in the first place. But she kept them locked on Rinoa. Her raven hair cascaded down her shoulders and she gazed down at Quistis. At her question, Rinoa laughed._

"_Yes. You have many friends. In fact, you have a fan club. People love you." Rinoa was flashing her a watery smile._

"_Are you and I friends?"_

"_Yep. But lately, you and I haven't seen a lot of each other. We don't work together. But we are friends." Quistis straightened up on her bed. The blood in her head rush down quickly, making her faint and pale._

"_And that man. . ." at this, Rinoa's smile faltered. Her eyes glazed and her jaw set. "With the dark skin and black coat. Who is he?" She was dying to know why he had reacted the way he had._

_Rinoa didn't answer right away. It seemed like she was trying to figure out who Quistis was talking about. But the back of her eyes showed that she had a suspicion of who this mysterious man was. Finally, she sighed and folded her arms, trying to warm herself._

"_Him? That was Squall."_

_As soon as the words left her lips, Quistis remembered him shouting in her face. Telling her to say his name. Squall Leonhart. _

"_Who is he?"_ _She leaned forward and steadies herself from falling off the bed._

"_He's your Commander. But he's also your partner. You two work together, but he holds a little bit more power over you. He told me he was waiting for you to wake up so you could file a report. Obviously, I don't think that's going to happen now."_

_The room was quiet._

"_Are he and I friends?" she questioned timidly._

_Something in Rinoa's eyes flashed. Not dangerously, but sadly. Quistis, in this moment, did not like the fact that Rinoa knew more about her life than she did._ _And something about this man Squall was sore. He was clearly not a man that Rinoa enjoyed talking about._

_Why?_

_Because what she saw behind those almond eyes, besides sadness, was pain._

"_No," she soughed, "you aren't friends." Pressing her lips together, she looked at the door. Almost as to make sure he wasn't listening._

"_Why?" It didn't make sense. If they worked together, they might as well be friends. Rinoa looked uncomfortable at her question._

"_He– he gets a little annoyed. And you work with him. You annoy him a little."_

_Even though she didn't know him, it still hurt._

"_He was mad at me when I woke up. Does he hate me?" Rinoa's neck snapped back in Quistis's direction._

"_No! No! He doesn't hate you, Quistis." She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. "That's just the way he is. He's a loner. He shuts people out. In fact, he shuts everyone out. And anyone who tries to get close to him, he finds annoying. And he doesn't like the fact that you probably know him better than anyone else does."_

_Quistis was now the one frowning._

"_Not anymore," she stated softly._ _Rinoa turned her eyes at the window that was now splattered with rain. A sharp jet of lighting lit up the infirmary making her skin glow._

"_It's nothing personal. He's like that with everyone."_

_There was something in the way Rinoa said those words that made Quistis's heart fall. The words themselves weren't anything special. It was the expression that possessed her elegant features. Her chocolate eyes became softer. Even in the dimness of the room, a gentle smile displayed itself visibly. And the tone in her voice. . .it was almost dreamy. Full of sweetness. _

_There was no mistake. This girl, despite that fact she didn't like talking about him, was very fond of the man named Squall._ _The cast of her face wasn't one of an enemy. Not a stranger. Nor an acquaintance. What was masked in her starry eyes wasn't an indication of friendship between she and Squall. But of pure affection._

_A lover's look._

_So, he was harsh? He was angry and cold with everyone?_

"_But not with you," Quistis muttered_ _hopelessly. _

_Rinoa looked away. A dark blush overtook her light flesh. Gulping, she stood up and stuttered._

"_He was once. But now I'm nothing more to him than a witch." She crossed the room and headed for the door. The dreamy look gone from her face. "You know what you need to for now. And you're hurt. Rest."_

_Quistis lowered herself back onto her bed. She forced herself to smile at Rinoa. But it was the last thing she felt like doing._

"_Thank you," she uttered. Rinoa returned the same forced smile._

"_Sleep well." And with that she left Quistis alone in the deserted room._

Sleeping well was probably the only thing that she was going to be able to do tonight. Not much, but like before, it was enough.

_**I I I**_

Squall couldn't sleep. If not for the rain, he would've taken a nice long walk outside. He couldn't walk inside the Garden. There was a risk that he would pass other cadets and they would see that something was wrong. Deathly wrong. He didn't want anyone one to see him

Not like this.

He remembered that day so long ago that he had snuck into the closet. Crying. Hoping no one would ever find him. No one did. Except Quistis. She somehow was the only one who had ever been able to find him. As always.

It was as though he were back at the orphanage. Hiding in the broom-closet. Miserable. Waiting for everyone else to forget he even existed. Squall wanted to be shut out of sight, so as to not see how weak he was. How alone he felt. How sad he was.

But the one thing he wanted. The only thing he wished for, was to have Quistis find him again. But he knew that he would never get that chance.

He stared out into the rain., trying to concentrate on the tiny droplets running down the foggy glass. Everything was falling apart. Pouring down on him like the water outside his room. If only there was a way to avoid thesehorrible afflictions. If only there was a way to walk between the raindrops.

Somehow, watching the storm amplified his already frustrated, pent-up emotions. And soon, he found himself having to look away from the window in fear that he would lose control of the desperate nagging of tears that were struggling to escape his eyes.

A light knock on his door made him jump, and he stared at the floor, hoping to make himself look angry and annoyed. Anything to cover is grief. Whomever it was, they didn't wait for his permission to come in. He heard their gentle footsteps on the carpet, with door clicking softly behind them.

"Squall?"

It was Selphie. There was no why to explain it. But he wasn't upset to see her. It was almost a relief. Squall closed his eyes and concentrated on this mystery. Why was he slightly happy to see that it was she, and not Zell who had walked in on him during this open, revealing moment in his shadowy room?

The answer didn't take long to find.

She was one of the few people who knew of his love for Quistis. Her voice was so tender, so understanding. Selphie was aware of everything exciting that happened in the Garden. And she was aware of him. At the thought of her compassion, her gentleness, the tears pushed fiercely against his eyes. He fought back with every fiber of his being.

"How are you?" she asked again.

Still, he stared, as though he were transfixed with the carpet. Nothing able to be uttered in the dark room.

"Squall?" her tone. So mild. She was full of compassion. His throat hurt again. He tried to gulp, but found that whatever was in him was blocking his voice. Beads of sweat formed at his brow in an attempt to battle his overtaking emotions. Why? Why did this have to happen now? Why not while he was alone?

Knowing that he couldn't ignore her any longer, Squall turned his eyes reluctantly to Selphie. It was hard to make out her expression from behind thin layer of water in his eyes, but he heard her gasp as though she were about to faint. She grabbed the door handle to steady herself. Her other hand flew to her heart. And when she spoke, her voice shook with pity.

"Oh Squall."

He quickly looked down. The pain he had been in now was overbearing. As though it were mocking him.

She was so kind to him, and he was failing now. Failing like he did when he was only a little boy.

"Quistis–" he stopped. It was too hard to say her name aloud. The earlier relief of Selphie standing in his room was fading. Slowly inhaling, he steadies his breathing to find the right words. But there were none. "She– she doesn't remember."

He hated the sound of his own voice quivering. Rapidly, he pushed his fist over his lips to keep them from trembling. This was one of the most awful things he had ever experienced. His entire self was showing. Showing to a woman who he did not want to see at the moment. At this time, Squall had no idea how he would ever recover from his horrid vulnerability.

In that instant she was by his side. He clenched his jaw as she felt her hand on his shoulder. She had to leave. She shouldn't be here. This was not the time. There was never the time.

"I know about Quistis, Squall," she soothed. "Every one knows she's hurt."

He wouldn't usually have ever opened up to her. But she was one of the only people who knew about his marriage. And she was offering comfort. That was more than what he was going to get from Irvine. But did he really want any comfort? No. He didn't. Not now anyway. At least not from her.

"Selphie?" he whispered when he knew he would sound stronger. "I'm tired," he lied. "Could you give me some privacy?" He felt her hand disappear from his shoulder.

"Of course." He didn't watch her as she stood up to walk out of his room. "It'll be okay Squall."

He knew that wasn't true.

"I know."

That was a lie.

"Sleep well." She then left.

And that wasn't going to happen.

_**I I I **_

"Well, the good news is, she seems to know the basics," announced Dr. Kadowaki,

"That's the good news?" Cid said as he, Squall, Seifer, Rinoa, and Selphie stood outside the infirmary. All of them huddled together intimately

"Well, it's better than having to sit with her, and tell her what the letter "A" looks like," Kadowaki responded.

"She said she knew certain things last night," Rinoa piped in. Squall and Seifer turned to look at her with an expression of incredulity. She stared right back. "What? I wanted to know how she was doing!"

"What did you tell her?" asked the doctor. She was gazing at Rinoa intently. Rinoa shrugged.

"Just essential information. The kind of stuff she needs to know if she ever wants to join the rest of us. I told her what her name was, where she was living. Who she worked with. What her occupation was. And I introduced myself. . .again."

By the way she said it, it was obvious that Rinoa thought it to be odd. Meeting someone for the first time that you already knew.

"Well that's good," said Kadowaki looking relieved. "Tell me, does anyone know if Quistis has experienced anything big in the last year or so?"

Everyone looked at each other confused. What exactly did _big_ mean?

"What?" Seifer question bluntly. "Her entire life is big. She works for SeeD for crying out loud!" Kadowaki raised her hand to shut him up.

"I mean, has she had any prior injuries? Something that would make her think, act, or move different? Has she gotten promoted? Does she have any children?" everyone, except Squall, laughed at that idea. "Is she engaged? Big things."

Squall looked around. Rinoa was shaking her head. Cid looked like he was thinking as if he could remember Quistis with someone romantically. Seifer seemed to be mumbling about a date. All the while, Selphie was looking not-so-subtly at Squall, who was now, staring at the floor.

"I don't know," he muttered, eyes fixed on the ground. "Why?" He heard Dr. Kadowaki sigh.

"Well, if anything big has happened to her, she could receive a bit of shock. When someone is completely ignorant to the fact that they have a child, it's not the best thing to drop the bomb on them right away. Do you see what I'm saying?"

"You mean, we shouldn't tell her about her life altering experiences?" Selphie scoffed. "That's ridiculous! She had the right to know if she's been fired. If she's pregnant or. . .married." Another unsmooth glance in Squall's direction.

He inwardly groaned. She was not helping.

"You're right, she does have the right to know," Kadowaki agreed. "But you can't just barge in there and tell her she's been fired, pregnant, or married. She'd freak out! And it's very unhealthy. Those kinds of things can cause enough stress when a person is aware of them in the first place. By telling her, she might have the opposite reaction."

"Opposite reaction?" Cid looked confused. Kadowaki nodded. She glanced at every one of them.

"Those burdens could become so heavy, she might try to escape them. Either by running away, or blocking them out. I'm not sure. Or she might not freak out at all. But like I said before, it's not healthy."

The room was quiet. This was not what Squall wanted. After alarming her so badly the day before, all he wanted to do was explain himself to Quistis. Tell her that the reason he was so upset was that he was married to her. That he loved her, and needed her. That he couldn't bare to lose her.

But now he wouldn't be able to, because it was "unhealthy."

"So, what should we do? We can't keep secrets from her forever," he whispered.

No one seemed to noticed how devastated he was. Not even Selphie. Kadowaki stepped forward to the wall, turned, and placed her back against it. Thinking for a few moments, she nodded her head as if she were agreeing with herself.

"You should ease her into her life. Slowly tell her about herself. Rinoa," she added, addressing the young girl, "what you did last night wasn't bad. You didn't tell her anything that would get her aggravated. But if you know something that could be a huge deal, slowly let her know. Show her pictures. Surround her with things that have any sentimental value. Your biggest priority is to help her remember."

She hesitated for a few minutes. All of them staring at one another with a shared mission. To help Quistis.

"So, does anyone know of anything that would make Quistis upset if she found out?"

No one raised their hand. However, Selphie's shot up without much irresolution. Squall held his breath. All the while staring at her, willing her not to spill his profound secret. It wasn't fair that others should find out about his relationship. Especially _before _the woman who he was having the relationship with.

"Yes?" the doctor asked. Selphie looked nervous, avoiding Squall's eyes.

"She just came back from a mission," she uttered, like she were revealing traitorous information.

"What kind of mission?"

Selphie's eyes jittered around her. In the dim light Squall could almost make out the light reflecting from her forehead, the sweat making it glow. It was clear she was uncomfortable with who she was sharing this knowledge with.

"A uh–" she gulped. "A dangerous one."

Kadowaki looked mildly intrigued. It was plainly obvious that Selphie was obligated not to tell anyone this.

"Well, whatever it is, don't tell her right now." Selphie eyes wilted with happiness of not having to give up her secret.

"Where is she now?" Seifer was staring at the door that read INFIRMARY.

"She's in there, resting." Kadowaki now seemed tired, and done with talking. She was about to turn and leave when Squall seized her shoulder.

"Can I see her?" he hushed. Upon seeing Seifer, Rinoa's, and Cid's surprised faces, he added, "I'm her commander, I need to see how she's doing. That's my job."

He also needed to apologize. Even so, he wasn't going to say that out loud. Kadowaki smiled for the first time that day.

"Yes, just try and handle her carefully."

If the others had any problem with Squall visiting Quistis alone, he didn't see it. He left before any of them could murmur the slightest objection. Turning, he vanished through the sliding doors of her room.

The aroma of antibiotics sent an awful flavor that caked his tastebuds. He could practically feel the bitter hint of the tongue-depressor grinding down his throat. The very though almost made him gag. Nonetheless, the gag stopped when he saw her standing by the window.

As always, he was immediately taken in by her beauty. It was a shame really. Quistis never seemed to understand just how wonderful she was. Sure, she looked in the mirror, but she never really saw her _real _reflection. She was way too hard on herself, and had no idea what she was missing out on.

She looked tired. That was for damn sure. And her hair was lightly tousled, making her appear extremely unfamiliar. Her blue eyes seemed faded over the course of the long night. And they gazed emptily out the window. Serenely staring at nothing.

It was clear she wasn't all there. Quistis didn't move an inch as he paced behind her, his oversized boots scuffing the floor. He stopped, fidgeted with his fingers pressing against his palm, and opened his mouth.

"Quistis?" he exhaled.

She instantly sprung away from the window. Throwing her head to glance behind her, she spotted him. Her eyes wild with astonishment. Full of life and fire. If her mind had been gone a moment ago, it was certainly back now.

Her lips parted when she had registered who was standing next to the door. For a moment, Squall thought she was going to scream. Either that or beat the living shit out of him. He braced himself. Expecting for her to cause a huge scene, but after gazing at him, she shut her mouth and dropped her hands to her sides.

"Oh," she grunted. "It's you."

That hurt. Those small words had almost hurt more than anything he had ever felt in his life.

Squall checked the door, to make sure it was shut. Then, silently trying to recover from the large emotional blow he had just received, he took another soft step towards her. He saw her eyes flicker to his feet, and she seemed to want to back away from him. However, as the wall was already pushed against her back, she couldn't move.

"Quistis," he began. He really didn't know what to say. How was he ever going to get her forgiveness for terrifying her so horribly? "I– "

He stopped. His entire body went limp, and his hands sagged pitifully to the ground. Gravity was doing its job, making him feel like the biggest failure in the world. He couldn't look at her. He couldn't explain what had happened to him yesterday.

When his eyes finally found her, she was furrowing her brow at him. She seemed half angry, half defiant. Whatever he said to her, she wasn't going to make it easy. And what she said next proved it.

"If you are going to start yelling at me again, you might want to back up a little. I don't want to go deaf."

He didn't respond to that sting, because he deserved it.

"I'm not going to yell," he sighed.

She may not remember, but she was still sassy. He had learned over the course of dating her that Quistis had a small saucy streak. And he had learned from experience that it only came out when she was pissed.

"Why are you here?" her voice had softened. . .just a bit. He bit his lip. Squall dreaded saying he was sorry. But in this case, he was going to have to swallow his pride.

"I just came in to apologize for scaring you." She looked confused when he said the words. "I was just shocked."

"Why did you get so angry at me?" though she wasn't as upset as she had seemed earlier, she was being demanding. After the humiliation of yesterday, she was recovering by taking control.

"I wasn't angry," he whispered.

"You weren't angry?" her tone told him she didn't believe him "Just like you weren't shouting in my face?" Never mind, she _was_ angry.

"I wasn't mad at you." He couldn't look at her anymore.

"Then why?" Now she was the one on the verge of shouting.

He didn't answer at all this time. Instead he stared to his right, at the wall that had a small crack in it.

"Why?" she repeated. Quistis was getting wrathful. But however mad she got, he couldn't explain as to why he had lost control.

More silence. Then. . .

"WHY?" Her voice was more sharp than loud, and it bounced off the tin walls of the infirmary echoing a metallic sound in her tone. As soon as the words flew from her lips, Squall turned his head back at her.

"I was SCARED!"

Until he had yelled it, he hadn't even realized that had been the true reason to his anger the night before. He was scared. Scared of losing her. Yes, it was mixed with other things. Confusion, denial, impatience, desperation. But the one that dominated them all was fear.

She jumped slightly at his outburst. Her features caught in surprise and turmoil. She had not expected that answer. All of the intensity was gone from her eyes, and was replaced with softness.

At that moment, she looked like Quistis. His Quistis. He let himself pretend that maybe he had sparked a memory within her. But he new that was just wishful thinking on his part.

He took a deep breath and tried to finish.

"I was scared." He had never frowned so powerfully. Even when he had stalked around the garden, the only cast on his face a dark scowl, he never frowned like this. "You're my partner. I was afraid that I'd lose another soldier. We don't need that. Not now."

_You're such a liar, _the nagging voice told him. _You were afraid. Afraid that she would never love you again._

She, now, seemed slightly ashamed with herself. Straightening up, she folded her arms across her chest and met his strong eyes with hers.

"You're not how Rinoa described you at all," she stated.

"Well, Rinoa doesn't know everything," he grumbled, not caring what Rinoa had told her about him. Running a hand through his hair, he looked up annoyed at the door, where Rinoa stood on the other side.

Quistis's next question, confused him more than anything.

"Do you see her as a witch?"

He couldn't help from staring at his wife as though she were crazy. Perhaps amnesia wasn't the only thing they had to worry about.

"She's not a witch," he answered dumbly. "She's a Sorceress." Quistis shrugged.

"Same thing."

Squall pushed his lips together.

"Trust me, it's not." They both were quiet, and then without warning, Quistis laughed. She apparently understood something he didn't.

"No!" she giggled. "I'm not asking you if she as magical powers! I'm asking you if you hate her." Well, she had seem to forgiven him.

"I don't hate anyone," he answered shortly. He felt like he had been transported back in time. When he was a student, and Quistis was his Instructor. Squall cringed, he never wanted to feel that way again. He never wanted to see Quistis as anything other than his wife.

"You loved her." She had stopped laughing. "You two were lovers."

His entire body tensed. This was not happening. Had Rinoa said that to her? Had she told Quistis that they were still together? A sudden fury burned throughout his body. His blood was made of lava. He felt erratic. All the man inside of him awake. A desire forced his way inside of him to find Rinoa and shake her. There was no way he was going to let her ruin his marriage. The love between he and Quistis was sacred, and he wasn't going to lose it because Rinoa was having second thoughts about their breakup.

Squall stared at Quistis. Immediately, the flaring madness calmed. Her eyes were frozen to his. He felt an electric current pass between them, and his heart skipped. A flood of pleasure wrapped around him. And he knew that Quistis's lips were calling to him. They needed him, as much he needed them.

"I don't think love is the correct term. And we weren't lovers," his voice was almost whimsical. He was lost in her presence again. "We were in a relationship, but that's over."

"When you two talk about each other," she started, "I see pain."

_Pain? That pain you see isn't for her._

"I'm not in pain over her anymore."

"There's a fine line between pleasure and pain." It was an old saying, but still wise. And Squall knew better than to contradict her. But the pain was heightened by the pleasure. The stronger the love, the stronger the pain. And with Quistis, the agony he was experiencing now made the hurt with Rinoa feel like a dull headache.

"Not with her."

And that was the end of it. He would no longer discuss his past affair with Rinoa to the person he loved more than anyone. To the woman who he had grown to love. Who he had realized that she had everything he ever wanted in a spouse. This conversation was over.

Quistis turned aside and scratched her chest. A flash of her doing that the day before, as she had fallen, shook him. And he had to stop himself from reaching out to grab her. Like he had failed to do yesterday.

But she was only satisfying an itch. He then saw her move something under her shirt, and grab at the air around her neck.

"What is it?" he asked, now referring to her latest action.

She stopped and looked at him. Reaching under her collar, she pulled out a long silver chain. Once he caught a glimpse of the sun bouncing off it, he knew exactly what it was. She let the necklace hang freely over her clothes. Her beautiful silver wedding ring swaying back and forth a few inches above her navel.

"I don't know what this is," she said, gesturing to the object that was the only material evidence of their love. "I think my mother gave it to me before she left me at the orphanage. It keeps dangling between my breasts and it's driving me crazy."

He left himself walk closer to her. Timidly, he placed his fingers out to grasp her ring, hoping they might brush over her body. They didn't. The ring was warm from resting against her hot skin for so long.Squall gulped. A spark flew into his mind. He was kissing the chain around her bare neck. The memory from a few nights before.

His fingers were twittering and he dropped the ring.

"What makes you think it's from your mother?" Quistis shrugged again and grabbed each end of the ring with both her hands. She gazed at it admiringly.

"Who else could have given me this?" It was all Squall could do not to shout that it was him. "She wrote something in here too, look."

Holding it up, he saw the glint from inside of the elegant band. Along the rim, written in exquisite cursive were the words that he had said to her on their wedding day.

_Il mio amore. Mia moglie. _

"I don't know what it means," she whispered, still peering at her precious gift. "But I think it says something about a daughter."

Squall didn't tell her that he had an almost identical ring hiding under his clothes. He knew what those beautiful words meant. And it was nothing about a daughter. He had whispered it so many times on their honeymoon. To see that she didn't have the slightest fathom of what it meant made him cold.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," he soughed. She looked up from her band surprised.

"I'm sorry too," and then she smiled at him, and the coldness lessened a little bit. Shoving the ring under her shirt again, she pointed at the bed. "I'm going to take another nap. Nice to meet you Squall Leonhart." As an afterthought she added, "See, I remembered."

That joke didn't make him feel any happier. Nonetheless, he still grinned. He did nothing but nod as he left her room And from that moment on, the door had been shut, in more than one way, between them forever.

Standing outside her room, Squall checked to see if anyone was looking, and fished for his ring under his garments. Holding it up to his face, he pressed his lips to it. He let it set there for a while, not wanting to let it vanish under his clothes again. Pulling it away, he stared at the different cursive words that swept under his band. The very words that she had said to him as they made love for the first time.

_Il mio amore. Mio marito. _

To be continued. . .

_**A/N: Dun dun dun! Wow! Sixteen pages, I think this is the longest chapter I've written as of yet! Okay, I'm think this is as close as to Rinoa bashing that I'm going to get. I don't like bashing characters. It's very unrealistic when I see Rinoa calling Squall "Squally." If she ever did that in the game, I don't remember it.**_

_**But anyway, I hope you all liked. I'm not sure if anyone still cares that this is up. I'm pretty sure I've lost about 99.9 percent of my original audience. So, if you want me to continue, please let me know. But this is a really long story to write for no one.**_

_**Thanks again.**_

_**(If you like this, then you'll love "Forget me Not" by Divine Dark Oblivion. One of my new favorites.) **_


	8. Dreams

_**In Secret**_

_**by diddly day**_

_**Disclaimer: They're not mine.**_

_**A/N: Okay, this is pretty fast for me! I usually never update this quickly. I pretty much sat down in the past two days, and drilled out this entire chapter. It's like 2:49am and I'm watching Family Guy on Adult Swim. And now I have a major headache. So excuse the spelling errors, I'm getting better about catching those. Enjoy and let me know what you think!**_

_**Chapter Eight:**_

"_So, what happens next?" asked the small child with his dark hair and deep eyes, as he sat next to his father's favorite rocking chair. The man tilted his head to his side, gazed at his son, and looked over his shoulder to see if his mother was listening._

"_Oh, you really want to know?" he questioned the small boy. The child nodded. Out of the corner of his eye, the man noticed his daughter leaning on her elbows to hear her father's story better._

"_Yes, please Daddy! We want to know what happened to the beautiful, golden princess!" she begged, her eyes sparkling like diamonds. "Did she ever remember her knight?_"

_At this, their father frowned. The fire cracked as the light bounced off the golden hearth casting a warm glow to the children's faces. Their eyes gleamed with suspense. Pure attention to every word that turned to their ears. He did not know how to answer his little ones. Usually, fairytales had a happy ending. But life was different, and this was no fairytale._

_His son peered at him over the rim of his glasses. His expression turning troublesome. "She does remember? Doesn't she Pappa?"_

_A familiar woeful yearning erupted inside the man heart. A yearning that he used to bask in. He remembered locking himself in his room, only to think of her. The fair, golden princess that was taken away from him. However, now he had children, and could not afford to indulge in such self-pity._

_Even so, the ache that still twinged his mind, his body, and his soul never stopped. Not after he had moved on from his beloved. And before he could answer his children, a burning stir swept behind his eyes, and he was forced to look away from them._

"_That's enough stories for tonight. I will tell you the rest when you aren't so sleepy." the man hushed._

_They began to fuss and pout, begging to know whether or not she rode off into the sunset with her knight that she loved so dearly. But the man simply held up his hand to quiet them. Telling that when all was right, they would know the end of the tale. Of course, his son and daughter groaned with disappointment and scowled at their wicked father. Thinking him sinful to tell such an exciting, romantic story, only to rush them off to bed before the end._

"_But Pappa– " they started._

"_Now, are you pestering your father again?" came their mother's voice from the kitchen. They all turned to stare at her in wonderment. There she stood in the doorway, her beauty still fitting sharply around her delicate body._

"_But Mamma! He just told us a story, and now he won't finish it!" chanted the little girl. The mother stared at her husband and smiled._

"_If so, it is because he does not know the ending, and needs more time to think of how it will finish. Now, you two be off to bed. And don't hound your daddy any longer. He is very tired and needs to sleep." _

_With those last few words, the young ones sagged their heads with disappointment. However, knowing better than to argue with their mother, gave their father a kiss goodnight, and left for bed._ _When both parents had seen that their children were asleep, the woman turned to her husband and sighed._

"_Squall, did you really not tell them the end to the fairytale?" he avoided her dark eyes. "Why tell them stories if you can't think of an ending?"_

"_The ending wasn't a happy one. I couldn't do that to them. I will think of a better way to finish the tale." With that, he felt her small fingers on his jaw, tilting his face to look at her._

"_You're so distant. I wish I could spend more time with you. I wish you would let me in a little." He would never let her in. And he did not tell her that._

"_I've done my best." he murmured. Knowing that it wasn't a complete lie. He could see her eyes flicker with mischief._

"_Can you show me your best tonight?" she whispered as she bent towards him and gave him a tempting kiss. He did not respond to it._

"_Not tonight Rinoa. I'm very tired, and that's not fair to you." It wouldn't be fair, because tonight, his mind was on someone else. . . _

"_All right." Rinoa muttered. "I understand, but I want you to let me in. Just a tiny bit. That's all I ask."_

_He gulped._

"_I'll do my best." Squall said, all the while thinking of his princess._

_**I I I**_

Squall awoke in his bed with a sudden panic. His heart hammering, almost hurting, inside his chest. Flinging the bed sheets away from his sweaty body, he launched himself to his feet, and began to hastily pull on his clothes. The rain still streaming smoothly outside his window, he opened it, and accepted with delight the cool breeze that struck over his hot skin.

He had to find Quistis.

He had to rid himself from the horrendous misery of his dream. There hadn't been anything outlandishly terrifying about it. It was simple. Married to a good wife. Living in a nice home with well behaved children. But his wife wasn't Quistis. And that meant that his children weren't Quistis's. It had scared him so. And now he fought down the urge to jump out his open window, and dash out into the rain. Running until his legs would fall off. To get away from the living nightmare that was now growing inside the Garden.

Either that, or go find Quistis.

And Squall wasn't the fleeing type. He knew what he had to do. Even if she didn't remember him, as long as she was there with him, it would be okay. Once cool enough, he shut his window and made his way for the door. Gathering his wits with every step.

His feet led him through the dark halls of Balamb Garden. His mind still stuck in his vision that had fell upon him in his sleep. Vision? Squall hoped not. More like illusion. That was simply something he feared. To lose Quistis, and out of desperation, marry Rinoa. Surely it didn't mean anything. Right?

_But what if it did?_

He had had those kinds of dreams before. Of course, it hadn't been of things to come, but of things that had once passed. Save, was that really any different? What if he woke up one morning, and Quistis still didn't remember him? That wouldn't be a big deal right? But what if one morning turned into five? And five to fifty? What if he awoke, and she was in love with someone else? What if he got up from bed, and she was gone? Or worse. . .

Dead.

What happened if he opened his eyes, and realized that the woman that lay next to him wasn't Quistis. But someone new? Or even, Rinoa?

He shook his head. Squall was worrying way to much. It was just a stupid dream. A terrible nightmare that he had rid himself of, and it wouldn't be back for some time. Just as long as he didn't think of losing Quistis. As long as he stayed close to her and helped her to remember, she would come back to him.

He hoped.

It took a moment for Squall to realize why his feet had stopped moving. Looking up, he noticed that he was, once more, outside of the infirmary. And then it occurred to him that he had no idea what he was going to say to her at one o'clock in the morning. It wasn't like she was going to be glad to see him, kiss him, and share a bed with him. Hell, she was probably asleep, and the last thing she needed was to wake up and see a strange man standing in her room.

Another image of him sitting next to a fire, telling his children a fairytale pushed Squall's legs through the door.

_**I I I**_

_Quistis was new to the warm fist that wrapped its finger firmly around her heart. It felt so welcoming, she was sure that no other woman on the planet had been treated this deliciously before. His fingers tightened, and she swooned as she could feel her heart pumping speedily in his palm._

_Only when she opened her eyes to see who so solidly held her heart, they met only air. She stood outside next to a fire alone. And while she gazed about her surroundings, searching for anyone who might hold the power to pluck at those sensitive strings in her chest, only the wind greeted her. Quistis had never felt so lonely. Then she felt his hand again, and the loneliness vanished._

_Still, even as there was no one in sight, she could feel his touch. Delicately stroking the nerve inside her ribcage. And soon, she had to sit down for her knees felt weak, and her head became dizzy._

_He loved her._

_Whomever it was that was making her feel this way, he loved her more than anything. Quistis couldn't stop the grin that spread quickly over her face. Her body relaxed as she unfolded herself next to the warm fire. Reveling in this extreme pleasure that fought to take over her senses. But when she lay by the fireside, it stopped._

_Looking in every direction, she squinted through the darkness, eager to find her lover. Her heart lay dead inside her chest. She needed to feel that slow caress again. Only then, could she become alive. Swinging her head desperately in the darkness, she saw nothing. Her eyes scanning the deep woods and trees in hope that she may see her admirer._

_Nothing._

_Now, her heart beat dully with grief. Unmistakable woe was the only thing that kept it still pulsing. The isolation surrounded her again. Like a dark cloud, the fire became dimmer. It bound her tongue so she could not cry in terror. The darkness stung her eyes, making the glow of the flame beside her become fainter and fainter. It was not that long after that Quistis was filled with utter despair._

_She felt the tears drop quickly from her lashes and onto the ground. In her mind, she cried out to the man who had filled her with such happiness to rescue her. When she thought that, the pain lessened, and she saw something at the base of the rock next to the bonfire._

_Struggling to get up, she inched slowly to the object. No. . .objects. The agony disappearing like a phantom. Bending down, she gazed through her tears at the black, leather, gloves that lay neatly on the dirt. Stretching forth her hand, she gently snaked her fingers around the sleek texture of leather and picked up the matching pair._

_Not knowing why, she slid one on her hand. For some strange reason, she was not surprised to see that it fit perfectly. The gloves themselves seemed to be specially_ _made for her hands. They danced down her long forearms to her elbows. The scent of the leather fine. However, as impressive as they were, Quistis felt somehow that by putting them on, she were receding rather than progressing. Almost as if she taken up a bad habit again._

_Flexing her fingers in the snug material, she gazed at it. The firelight absorbing the intense heat that radiated off the flames. The black fibers parading a blurry reflection. The sense_ _retrogression became stronger as she stared at the wonderful gift that had been given to her. And without much thought, Quistis grabbed the tip of her gloves, and pulled them hastily off. _

_Once so, she expected the terrible fear of solitude to snatch her. But instead. . ._

"_There are other ways to keeps your hands warm." the breeze around her swayed the trees as the fire hazed slightly._

_It was a warm familiar whisper. Full of love and excitement. At that moment, Quistis knew that the voice belonged to the man who had held and stroked her heart so adoringly only moments before._

_**I I I**_

She was obscurely aware that the door to her room had opened. However, her head still foggy with sleep, making it hard for her to react to swift whooshing of the automatic doors. Only when she heard a man's boot fall heavily on her carpet, did her eyes snap open in alert.

"Who's there?" the figure stopped at her voice. Turning her neck towards to the opposite side of the room, she could barely make out a man who was large in stature.

"It's me," the man said. He sounded familiar, and Quistis knew almost at once who it was. "Squall."

No matter what anyone said, Squall was not how people described him. Rinoa had portrayed him as cold and easily irritated. While Zell, who had visited her the morning after Rinoa, had said that he was quiet and sarcastic. When a tall, fair haired man named Seifer spoke to her after dinner, he recounted that her commander was_ grumpy_ and, at times, rather blunt and tactless.

Although, each of them were surprised that it was Quistis who was asking all of her peers about the mysterious man named Squall. She, herself, couldn't explain it. There was some slight infatuation there. It was curiosity that drove her to turn all of her conversations on him. They, in return, had all told her that he was not a friendly man who needed friends. And that he was profoundly peeved with Quistis on a daily basis.

They had all told her that. Except two of her supposed friends who had visited her last. A bouncy and happy woman named Selphie, and a slick chap in cowboy attire who went by the name of Irvine. Although it was Selphie who had done most of the talking, Irvine seemed to confirm everything she said.

"_Don't be so hard on Squall." Selphie told her with a soft voice._

"_Well, he came in here and apologized. I guess I have to forgive him." Quistis responded, looking away in embarrassment._

"_Quistis, despite what the others might say, Squall holds you in the highest respect. And remember, they don't always know everything. But me? I'm the Gossip Queen, and I know all."_

_Quistis almost laughed, but when she looked at Irvine to share her humor, he merely stared down at her and nodded almost reverently_.

Squall turning on the lights, caught her out of her thoughts. The sharp glow of the brightness burned her eyes. However, Squall hadn't seemed to notice her discomfort.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Don't worry." she answered, shielding her eyes from the white hot light. "What are you doing here so late?"

"I came to check on you. See if you needed anything." Quistis almost told him to turn off the lights, but upon seeing his–what was that– worried expression, she kept silent.

For the first time that night she looked at him properly. He stood next to her bed. A dark shade of stubble on his chin told her that he had not shaved for days. And the red in his eyes confirmed her suspicion that he hadn't been sleeping well either. His hair hung untidily into his eyes, and dark rings sported themselves under his lashes.

"You look exhausted." she observed. She expected him to simply goggle at her, as it was a stupid observation. But instead, a ghost of a smile caught hold of him.

"You can tell, eh?"

No. He did not look annoyed. He did not seem angry or cold. He was sitting himself down gently, and with great care as to not to disturb her, on her bed. It was apparent that he was being considerate. And his voice wasn't harsh or distant. Quite the contrary. It was humorous, with a tad bid of anxiety. While behind his red, blurry, dark eyes, were relief.

He was happy to see her.

Why?

Was it because he was still harboring remorse for his boorish behavior a few night before? Or was there another reason? Were the two, she dare say. . .friends? She closed her eyes, that couldn't be it. Nonetheless, Selphie's simple words still echoed in her mind. The fact that there may be more to Squall than met the eye gave Quistis a small piece of hope that perhaps she might be able to find out who she was. Since she had awoken from her magical sleep, she was afraid that she wouldn't find her memory because of her perplexed relationship with her peers. How was she going to piece together who she was if she wasn't able to know where she stood with each of them?

So many questions, and so far, no answers. No answers that helped her anyway. And from talking to everyone else, she had gotten the distinct impression that Mr. Leonhart did not give a damn about her well-being.

But he was here, wasn't he? Sitting on her bed, wondering if he could somehow make her life a little bit more comfortable.

Quistis closed her eyes, and plunged her face into her hands. This was so confusing. She wished that she could sit down in a quiet room, and read about her life. Read about it without having to ponder and inquire to everyone else. To have her entire life displayed before her so she could study it and learn it. Not having to worry about who was liable, or who she could trust.

Then it happened. Such a frightening thought had never occurred to her. Just who were her friends? Who were her enemies? A sickening realization punched into the pit of her stomach, and she felt deathly vulnerable. How was she going to distinguish the light from the darkness? Who could she count on to aid her back to her true reality? Quistis may not be able to remember, but she wasn't stupid. As a soldier, she was sure to have foes, and any wicked individual would jump at this chance to manipulate her so subtly.

For evil hid behind smiling faces.

As if the fates had answered her, the lights flickered wildy. Squall and Quistis turning their eyes about waiting for it to stop. It didn't. And finally, darkness won as the light vanquished from inside the infirmary. A faint buzzing noise slowed and made a winding sound. The two were left in blackness. The only light shuddering from outside the stormy window.

"Oh no." Squall muttered as she sprang from her bed and raced to the automatic doors. No sound came from them, and Quistis heard him pound softly on them.

"What is it?" she questioned. She was vaguely aware of him rounding next to her bed once more.

"The power went out. This has happened before." he sighed. She could see his silhouette as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "We've had a horrible storm for the past few days. It's been making everyone's lives a living hell." There was something in his voice that she couldn't detect. Whatever it was, it was causing him distress.

He looked up to her. She could feel his eyes on her body. It surprisingly wasn't violating. Quistis found herself quite flattered to be watched so intently under his gaze. She could almost feel him staring into her soul. A cloudy stirring launched its way into her belly. His eyes felt good. They felt. . .intimate.

"I'm sorry." she heard him say. "I'm stuck in here with you until they get the power back on."

This was not happening. She barely knew this man. And he was the biggest question mark out of all the people who she had spoken to. What if he wasn't such an honorary man as all her equals had agreed on? But there was nothing else, beside suspicion, that should make her so discomforted. After, she could not deny that there was nothing unsettling about him staring at her.

"Don't worry," she smiled. "I could use a knight to watch over me." In the blackened room she heard him chuckle.

"Trust me, I got myself locked in a hospital room. What kind of knight does that?" She saw him sway back and forth, not sure of what to do with himself.

"Well,"she started as she waved her hand in front of her. "Might as well make yourself at home."

_**I I I**_

The candles that melted with wax shed it's light across Squall skin. Shimmering over his features. He sat on the edge of her bed, watching it. Transfixed by the dancing flame that wavered back and forth on the small dresser. Quistis watched him. They hadn't said much to each other. Oddly though, she knew they didn't have to speak.

Before, he had shuffled around her room, looking for any source of light. Two old-fashioned candles waxed brightly in the darkness. Squall had placed them on each side of her bed. One on the chair to her right, and the other on the dresser to her left. The warm glow comforted her a great deal.

Fighting off the silence, Quistis forced herself to break his gaze on the flickering blaze.

"So, tell me about yourself." she spoke gently. He pulled his eyes from the candle to peer at her.

"You shouldn't be asking about me. You should be asking about you." She breathed, and her entire body leeched into her blankets. Searching for warmth, she hugged the covers.

"I'd like to know about you."she pressed. He looked uncomfortable, and shifted timidly on her bed.

"What do you want to know?" his face slacked with shadowy alarm. What was he afraid of?

"I don't know." Quistis shrugged. "Anything. For starters, how do I know you? When did we first meet?"

At this, Squall's eyes widened as he tried to think. Rolling his shoulders back, he bit his lip and laced his fingers together.

"I don't know when we first met." he replied. "I've known you since I can remember."

"How far back can you remember?"

It took him a little longer to answer that question.

"We used to live at the orphanage with Matron." he retorted. "We all used to play together. Well, except you. Even then, you acted like a mother. I thought Matron was actually going to give power to punish us." He suddenly smiled. A real smile. A fond smile.

"What else?" She wasn't sure what he was going to say, but she knew that it was better to ask him herself, rather than ask anyone else.

"You were made an Instructor in Balamb Garden when you were only fifteen. As a matter of fact, you were my Instructor." at this, he didn't smile as much.

"I was your Instructor?" he nodded. "So, how did you do in my class?"

He closed his eyes and told her the truth. He told her everything he knew. About her relationship with him. (Even though she knew he was holding something back.) Her relationship with everyone who also lived in the Garden. And a few major details about their exciting adventure a year and a half ago.

The story itself was something out of a book. With Sorceresses, knights, and magic. Dreams of past. Seeing the future. Assignations and betrayal. Flying machines. Fights. Self-discovery and dependancy. She leaned forward, riveted with his stimulating story of friendship, bravery, and love.

"So what happened next?" she asked, her eyes wide with anticipation. "Is that when you and Rinoa fell in love?"

Squall did not want to discuss the circumstances between Rinoa and himself, but Quistis was so taken in by the touching romance, that he promised to tell her at another time. . .when he could think of a better answer.

"It's such a shame." she declared. His eyes found hers and his eyebrows raised.

"What is?"

"You two, losing something so strong like that." she shook her head and ignored the blast the thunder that vibrated the walls so deeply.

She heard Squall inhale and his body wilted with weariness. Hunching over, he buried his face in his hands, not bothering to gaze at her any longer. Quistis knew at once that she should not have spoken so liberally about his lost love. For an instant, she was sure he was going to break down and cry. Instead, he dropped his hands from his face and moved his head closer toward her. In that moment, she held her breath. He was full of surprises, and she had no idea what he was going to do next.

Stopping abruptly, she held his face with her eyes correctly for the first time that night. Noticing the pale line that hid under his hair, trailing its way down his sweaty forehead. His eyes like black pools of ink. The flare reflecting made them look like an oil spill on fire. He innocently stared at her. Both of his eyes saying everything his lips weren't.

Maybe it was the candlelight, but Quistis's skin flushed unexpectedly. An overwhelming feeling drained from her face and down to her toes. She could feel the heat from his body flooding over her flesh. The hot sensation arousing a frightening, yet pleasant hatching in her heart. While spreading round her being. The sound of the rain hitting against the Garden sent a shiver down her spine. Her lungs failed with air, and the back of her neck became heavy and strained as she faced Squall's fervent expression.

Her eyes traveled over to his scar. She gaped so hard at it, that her head started to hurt. A quick image filed behind her eyes. She saw a pale hand whisking his bangs away, then lingering their fingers down his thin existence of an old wound.

It was only for an instant, but Quistis was briefly positive that she knew what that fine stip of flesh felt like under her skin. Then like an apparition, it was gone. In the next second she had completely forgotten the sensual taste that had touched her memories, and now fell entirely into his lost eyes.

"You look tired." he heaved. "I suppose I've kept you awake long enough. Get some sleep." he pulled away abruptly and leaned back.

Standing up, he walked around her bed, picked her the candle on the chair, and brought it around to the dresser on the other side of her bed. The left side of her now darker than the right. The extra light provided cast shadows that she had not seen before. Imagining mysterious creatures hiding in the new depth, she allowed herself to turn childishly fearsome. Brushing those stupid thoughts from her mind, she let her blue irises follow Squall as he maneuvered himself once more around her bed and into the chair next to her.

The high emotions that still tarried inside of her drained her of her strength. Allowing her head to fall back onto the soft pillow. Her eyes closing, relieving the stinging air that pounded over her frozen sapphires. Her ears taking in the sound of Squall mild breathing lulling her to sleep. All the while, fully aware that she was under his watch.

_**I I I**_

Irvine grumbled to himself as he paced down the Garden hall. It was almost five in morning, and the power had now just finally come back on. The sound of the generator reviving itself had scared the living shit out of the new cadets that slept soundly in their dorms. And now once everything had settled down, they had called him up. Woken him from a dead sleep, to go and take a walk around the Garden, to make sure no troublemakers had caused a ruckus. Hell, he hadn't known that the Garden had lost power again. As did he care.

He was now dragging his feet gruffly through the deserted ballroom when he noticed a faint light on in the back quarters. Rolling his eyes, already knowing that some punks had gotten into the bar behind the counter that the staff lounged in. Great. Now he was going to have to deal with stupid-ass drunk kids.

The humble melody of jazz poured through the crack in the thinly opened door. He heard the relaxing strum of the base blending beautifully with the beat and rhythm to the soothing love song. Wait. That wasn't right. Love song? What kind of hooligan listened to love songs?

As he drew closer to the door, a deep exhale came from behind it. Irvine tapped on the door with his knuckles and it drifted back softly. Peering around the doorframe, he gazed into the small bar. The cozy light hit the liquor bottles that line over the counter, causing a ravishing Aurora to cast upon the walls. The jukebox spun the records in a hypnotizing motion. Then he pitched his sight to the right.

Laying across the red rosewood bar, was Squall. Clear shot-glasses cluttered around him, some sitting up, others on the floor next to his dangling feet. His face down on the slab, arms around his head. His leather jacket and trousers were replaced by a pair of loose jeans, and a dirty, white T-shirt. Irvine was so astonished to see him there that he dropped his radio and it clattered to the ground. Squall didn't flinch.

"Squall?" he tripped his way over the used glasses next to his friend. Squall still did not look up. Irvine placed his left hand on his shoulder and shook him. "Hey," he tried. "wake up."

Upon feeling his touch, Squall inhaled deeply, lifting his head heavily from the rod of wood he was using for a pillow. Irvine stared into his face to see his eyes were unfocused and intensely glazed over. The whiskers on his face were longer than he had ever seen them. He unevenly met Irvine's eyes.

"What? What?" he slurred. When his lips opened, Irvine was hit with the bitter stench of alcohol. "Oh, hey pal." Squall loosely slapped him on the elbow. The man reeked of liquor. Irvine fought to control the muscles in his face from scrunching in disgust

"Squall? What the hell are you doing? You can't be drinking this early, everyone will be up soon." he only had enough time to catch Squall from falling wildly from his seat. Clinging to Irvine, Squall hoisted himself up on his stool.

"It wasn't _that_ early when I started." he corrected. Irvine was dimly aware that the love song had ended, but was playing. . .again.

"Why are you here?" his question didn't go unanswered. For when he was drunk, Squall wasn't as introverted as he usually was.

"I wanted to see Quistis." was all he said. Irvine stared at him blankly.

"Well, she's not here buddy." Squall was pouring himself another drink in a dirty glass. Before Irvine could snatch it away, he threw his head back and downed it in one gulp. Hunching his hansom features, he grimaced at the liquid fire. "Why did you want to see her?" he asked.

"I uh–" he paused. "I had a bad dream." he sounded like an infant.

Irvine was struck with sudden sourness. This midnight drinking rampage was not a result from a night out with the boys. This was Squall, hurting. Running away from his pain. Hiding in the only thing left that could give him any form of comfort. And why?

Because he missed his wife.

He was already fumbling again for another shot-glass, but Irvine was too quick this time, and grabbed his forearm to stop him.

"You had a bad dream and wanted to see Quistis?" Squall nodded, his neck bobbing dramatically up and down, trying to support his head.

"Yeah, but she was asleep. And I accidently woke her up. I'm such an ass!" he threw his own fist up and whammed himself right on the crown of his head. Irvine had to grab his other hand to stop from hurting himself anymore.

"Don't!" he warned. Squall didn't listen.

"She was afraid of me. I–I–I could tell. My own wife, scared of her husband. That's what abusive husbands do, frighten their wives. And that's what I did." He attempted to hurt himself again, only Irvine was there to prevent it.

"And then the power went out and I got locked in!" his words strung together in his delirium.

Irvine was now vainly trying to pull him off of his stool. It wasn't as easy as he had hoped. Squall was heavy. And that damn love song was still playing! It was such an easy, warm environment. Yet, tainted cold by his friends sadness.

"So I lit candles and we talked." his entire body was leaning to his right, ready to fall off and smash to the ground. If that happened, Irvine knew he would shatter like glass.

"You just talked?" he questioned. Locked in a room with your wife on a stormy night, candles the only source of the light in the room, and all you do is talk? Squall, though wasted, knew what Irvine was getting at. And he stared at him incredulously.

"She doesn't remember me." Irvine frowned at this. That was right, Squall couldn't have done what he wanted if she had no memories of him. He turned back to the bar. His hand reaching out for the bottle of whisky that was damn near empty. "It was romantic." he whispered.

His messy hair fell around his hands as he masked over his face. Resting his elbows on the bar, he leaned forward. It was quiet for sometime, and Irvine began to wonder if Squall was starting to sober up. But once again looking around him at the dozens of glasses, he knew that Squall wasn't going to be himself very soon. And was going to wake up tomorrow with the worst hangover imaginable.

"I miss her." his voice wasn't only detached, it was shaking, and muffled by his hands. "It's only been three days, and I miss her like hell." he dropped his hands away from his face. "The power came back on not long after she fell asleep. When it did, I didn't want to leave. So I came to lounge to get away. Just for now."

He staggered, nearly tipping backwards over his seat. Irvine had to grab his back. When Squall looked back at him, his eyes were polished and redder than ever. And Irvine knew it wasn't because of the liquor.

"For a while, we just stared at each other." he babbled. "I wanted to make love to her so bad." Irvine grabbed his shirt trying to get him to move. "I wanted to show her how much she means to me. I virtually lost control watching her silky eyes." Since when did Squall become a poet?

Pulling harder, he lifted Squall up, only to have him stumble, then crash to the ground. He reached down to boost him to his feet. Squall moved easier this time, gripping on to Irvine with every ounce of strength he possessed. He caught another hint of that sour flavor wafting off his friends breath.

"I love her. I can't marry Rinoa. No matter what. If Quistis dies, I'll die."

If it hadn't been so depressing, Irvine would've rolled his eyes. Setting his mouth into a tight frown, he hauled his comrade to his feet and towed him off to his dorm. Not bothering to shut off the lights or jukebox, or to clear away the used whisky glasses. The two of them set off through the dark Garden. Squall all the while telling Irvine exactly what he felt. A very un-Squall-like thing to do, but the guy was plastered and vulnerable. He knew that Squall was releasing some of the tension that plagued his life. He probably would've muttered this to a complete stranger, blowing his cover about his secret marriage. It was just pure dumb luck that he, himself, had stumbled across his pal tonight.

After all, what if what was happening to Squall and Quistis, had happened to he and Selphie? Irvine shuddered. He didn't want to think about that.

It wasn't until they got the Squall's dorm, that he told Irvine something that moved him to his very core.

"If Rinoa leaves Seifer, promise me you'll keep both of them away from Quistis." he drooled on his own pillow and laid his aching head back.

"Why?" was all Irvine was able to voice. He gazed down at his commander, who looked suddenly so small and childlike.

"Because they might take Quistis away from me. They might drive her away. I can't– " he mumbled something into his sheets.

"What? Can't what?" Irvine prompted. He was so shocked by his mate that all he could do was listen to his incoherent rambling.

"I can't lose her." he then turned on his back. His sweaty face cooling under the chilly air. The white sheets and pillowcase absorbing the atmosphere and soothing his sizzling body which had grown hot because of the alcohol he had devoured.

Irvine rose to leave when Squall's slick hand shot out and grabbed him by the collar.

"Promise me." he soughed.

His throat felt scratchy and dry. His face turned beet-red with embarrassment for his friend. Blinking the sweat out of his eyes, he put his hand on Squall's shoulder to assure him..

"I promise." as he said it, Squall relaxed and let sleep overtake him. His hand dropped from Irvine's collar and hung freely over the side of his bed.

Irvine arose, and turned to leave the dorm. Making his way back to the lounge, he couldn't get the broken image of Squall out of his head. He knew once he told Squall about it tomorrow, he would be horrified to know what he had shared. But in an odd sense, he had never seen such an honest side to him.

When Irvine had first been asked to be a witness to their wedding, he had scoffed. It seemed like the two were making the worst mistake. Squall was only getting married to rid himself of his emotions over Rinoa. And Quistis was foolishly allowing herself to indulge in a fantasy that wasn't real. She was letting herself believe that Squall really loved her when his heart was still with Rinoa.

But tonight. . .

It had changed. Squall had talked of agony over the memory loss. He had told him that he all he wanted to do was stay with her. Kiss her sweet lips. Touch her body. And make love to her between the glowing candles. That was not like Squall at all. Even so, Irvine was positive that if he had not been asked to roam about the halls tonight, Squall would've drunk himself to death in a feeble attempt to dull the pain.

Irvine cleaned up. Washed the glasses, and closed up the fetid bar. It had been awful. By the time he had gotten back to the lounge, the love song was still playing. It's once happy and touching beat now haunting and joyless. He had to fight back the terrible sting in his eyes before he could fight up enough nerve to shut it off. Even when he did, the lyrics still played desperately in his mind.

_You stare at me,_

_I gaze at you_

_Do you know me_

_as well as I do?_

_If we danced in different lands_

_I know you could feel my hands_

_I need you, _

_you want me now_

_To love you more_

_than I know how_

_So kiss me please, and do not fail_

_as I tell you my own fairytale._

Irvine locked the door behind him, wanting to never hear that song again.

To be continued. . .

_**A/N: Oh wow! I still have readers! I was very surprised to see that any of you were still reading this. These last few chapters haven't been my best. But I'm glad that people are still wanting to find out what happens to this wonderful couple. My favorite part of this chapter was the beginning dream, and the Squall drunk at the bar scene. I didn't much like Quistis's dream, but hey, I had to write something.**_

_**Thank you all for reviewing. I wish I could sit down and write you all thank you's. But that would make this story look longer than it already is, and I don't want to do that to you. So if you could all leave your email address, I would happily send you a personal thank you for reading my story. Those reviews are the best part of story process.**_

_**Thank you all!**_

_**PS: The lyrics to the song are mine. Just so you guys don't call the site manager and have me shut down. I understand that is a new policy.**_


	9. Secrets

_**In Secret**_

_**By diddly day**_

_**Note to the reader: I'd like to thank you for peeking into this story, even if some of you are skipping from chapter one to nine (thank goodness for "hits" eh?). But hey, I've done it too. I'm just glad this story isn't being ignored.**_

_**Also, I'm really surprised to see that some of you think this story is depressing. I mean, if you want depressing, read my other story "Darkest Hour." That's depressing. Even I have a hard time writing that story.**_

_**As one of my favorite sayings go: "Comedy is a dead art form. But tragedy. . .haha, now that's funny.**"_

_**Chapter Nine:**_

_Oh no. _

Selphie ran her petite hands over her slim face. This couldn't be happening. Not now. Not ever. The sweat on her palms streaked her face as she rested them flat on the table where she and her comrades sat. A warm flash erupted at the base of her neck, then turning cold as the air hit her moist skin. She closed her eyes and prayed that no one had overheard. Luckily, Zell and Xu didn't seem to notice.

Yes, Selphie was the wise, all knowing, ear-pressed-against-the-Garden-wall kind of girl. Wherever the tiniest bit of exciting talk had squeezed its way into a small shadow, she was one of the first to know. It wasn't that she pulled people aside to pry into their personal lives. She simply kept her eyes wide and her ears open. It couldn't be helped to have her working and suddenly pick up on someone else's conversation, her ears growing larger at every inciting word. But for the first time since she could remember, Selphie wished to be left out of the gossip-loop.

Because knowing this made her life that much harder.

"Rinoa," she began, "this is the worst possible time."

Rinoa didn't respond, and merely cloaked her face with her hands. Selphie eyed her, knowing full well that her own features expressed stone-cold seriousness.

_Why? Why did she have to tell me this now?_

"Well, I don't know what to do!" Rinoa hushed curtly. She suddenly eyed Selphie warily, as though she had x-ray vision. "Why are you so upset about this? I thought you, of all people, would wet your pants at an opportunity to hear about the latest piece of gossip."

"This is different!" Selphie whispered back in the same snippy manner as Rinoa. "We're not talking about who got caught doing drugs in the bathroom, or who's likes who, or — "

Rinoa scoffed.

"Well, it kinda is!" she said this so loudly, that three students jumped in alarm. "What I mean is," she began, lowering her voice considerably, "is that I'm sure I made a terrible mistake. I need help Selphie. Or at the very least someone to talk to."

Selphie shook her head and folded her arms. She was sick of it. Sick of having to keep everyone else's secrets. . .Well, okay, not _really_. But this was just one too many! And with as many secrets she had stored up inside her head, they were sure to get mixed in together. If she wasn't careful, she was sure to let the wrong secret slip to the wrong person. After all, her brain was only so big.

"Rinoa, sometimes it's _nice_ not to know everything."

"I guess ignorance really is bliss, huh?" at this, Rinoa actually smiled despite herself. Selphie nodded slowly.

"Whoever said that was very wise," tipping forward in her chair, she laced her fingers together. "Listen," she began, "you can't tell him this — _stop looking at me like that_ — you can't tell him, because if you do, it's just one more thing that Squall has to worry about. . . ."

"Worry about what?" Rinoa stretched her arms out dramatically. "The guy sleeps in late. Look, he isn't even up yet! Everyone gets to run around and do whatever he says. He's treated like a prince for Heaven's sake! I'm sorry, but Squall has a pretty easy job."

"That's not true, and you know it," Selphie was growing tired of this conversation, but it was too late. She couldn't escape.

"Of all the people who know him, you'd be the first person who'd know just how stressed out he is. He puts his life on the line everyday, he is constantly arguing with Cid on a regular basis about who-knows-what. Not to mention the punk-ass rookies who give him attitude every chance they get. And in case you haven't heard, his best soldier doesn't even remember who she is. Yes, Squall's has much on his mind right now. He's got a lot to care about. Including Quistis."

Rinoa, for the first time that day, looked extremely agitated. Her eyes boiled wildly, and her nostrils flared intensely. Selphie was sure that snakes were to spring from her hair any moment. Then, she simply folded her arms across her chest and glanced away, but not without rolling her eyes.

"Squall doesn't care about Quistis," she muttered softly. Selphie stared at her in shock.

"That doesn't sound like you," she stated quietly. Rinoa gazed down, her face turning scarlet. "What's going on? You're acting like some jumped-up preteen. And you know that Squall cares about Quistis — he may not show it," she added hastily upon seeing Rinoa raise her eyebrows at her, "but he does, as much as anyone else. I know you didn't mean that."

Silence, then. . .

"All right," Rinoa declared dropping her arms to her sides. Her face softening considerably. "I didn't. I'm just so miserable over this," she resumed to hold her head in her hands. The table propping her elbows up.

As Selphie watched her friend, a sudden flare of pity exploded inside her chest. She really was unhappy. And she was worrying herself sick over this as well. When Selphie spoke again, her tone was much less critical, and much less harsh.

"You need to hold this off for a while," she whispered. "You can't go rushing to him and express how you feel. There are things going on in his life that we don't know about. It could just make everything more complicated than it has to be.

"And what about Seifer? He loves you. Let's say that Squall does takes you back, but then you regret it and want to go back to Seifer. You can't just keep running back and forth between these two men. A day's going to come when they won't want you anymore. People can only take so much hurt. And then you'll be alone."

_Squall doesn't want you anyway. __He wants her. . . ._

"Promise you'll keep this secret for a while," Rinoa asked.

_Great, _Selphie thought, _another one._

"I don't see how I couldn't," Selphie said noticeably peeved.

Rinoa didn't say anything for a long while after this. She merely sat there, her head down. All the strands of hair blocking her pretty face. When she finally did look up, her eyes were red and her makeup was smeared.

"I hate this," she sighed. "I feel like some harlot! But I don't want to end up regretting who I choose for the rest of my life. There must be something wrong with me."

"No," Selphie smiled as she patted Rinoa's hand, "you're just a girl."

_**I I I**_

"Wake up!"

The blows that whoever was firing on his door made his head feel as though it would split in two. Squall groaned and rolled over on his bed. . . .

"Shit – " he whispered as he crash onto the floor. Tiny lights flashed behind his eyes, and his brain seemed to rattle inside in skull like a blender.

"Hey, Squall! You up yet?" Zell shouted through the door. "Cid wants to see you. It sounds urgent."

And he was still pounding on his door. Squall wanted to scream at him. To tell him to leave him alone. He opened his mouth to do so, but his tongue didn't connect with his brain. It suddenly became very hard to articulate his thoughts.

"Uhhhh," he moaned.

Zell's hammering stopped.

"Hey, are you okay Squall?"

Squall heard the swing of the door shuddering over his carpet. There was no where to hide. He positively didn't have the strength. He simply lay there on the floor, feeling incredibly unprotected. The sound of Zell breathing stopped. It seemed for eternity that he just stood there, hovering over him. Finally, after some moments, he felt Zell's foot jab his ankle.

"What?" Squall muttered weakly.

"Good, you're still alive," Zell sighed as he walked over him to the window.

Pulling back on the blinds, light streaked quickly across Squall's face. Shutting his eyes quickly to avoid the terrible pain that was already shooting to his brain, he pressed his palm to his eyes, which felt as though knives were slowly twisting into his irises. The terrible pang made him shudder. He was never going to drink again for as long he lived.

"Shut those damn blinds, Zell." His mind seemed to be working again. And at last, his tongue could keep up with it.

"What the hell happened to you?" Zell questioned, pretending not to hear Squall's request. Squall, however, felt he didn't have enough strength to explain. He body felt feverish, and his stomach was quaking terribly inside his body.

"Nothing," he stated simply.

"Well, sunshine always helps me when I feel down. Just let yourself soak in it. Look! It's not raining anymore! That's got to make yourself feel a little bit better, right?"

"Brilliant," Squall muttered as he pushed himself off the floor.

Standing was a much harder task than expected. As soon as he stood, the room swirled around and at him in a barrage of colors that swam before his eyes. A terribly familiar sensation of unpleasant heat enveloped him as his stomach did a backwards somersault inside of his body. Squall's feet became weak. He tried to concentrate on the doorhandle. No use.

_I'm going to puke._

"Hey! Hey !" Zell jumped away from Squall as he ran staggered toward the wastebasket. "Oh man, that's disgusting."

Squall replied by spitting excess remnants into the trash.

"I don't feel good," he groaned.

"What_ did _happened to you?" Zell had one hand covering his mouth and nose, trying to block the terrible stench that burst inside the small room.

"Stayed up drinking," he responded. Zell was quiet for a moment.

"I didn't know you drank," he whispered, confused.

"I don't."

Squall thought it was time to end this conversation. Getting awkwardly to his feet, he tottered to his door and almost collapsed into the hallway. He could feel a few student's eyes on him. One fourteen-year-old yelped in surprise at the sight of him, her hand clutched tightly over her heart.

"Commander Leonhart? Are you okay?" she squeaked. He nodded, knowing that he must've looked like hell. . .and incredibly scary.

"Where's Cid?" he asked gruffly

No one answered. And Squall blindly made his way to Cid's office without any help.

_**I I I**_

"I want you to take Quistis with you on a mission."

There was silence. . . .

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Cid repeated irritated. "I want you to accompany her on your next mission."

Cid was clearly upset with they way Squall had bursted into his office. Bleary eyed, unshaven, and smelling like death, Squall had tried to explain why he looked so. . . disheveled, however, Cid already knew. And had chewed him out for at least ten minutes telling him how a Commander of his rank was to be an example to other cadets at the Garden. And how he couldn't go around at the wee hours of the morning getting hammered.

Squall, undoubtedly, stopped listening within the first thirty-seconds of Cid's lecture. However, he got the gist.

This new bit of information brought Squall's ears' back to the present.

"You want me to take her out and. . . .and battle?" he asked tersely. Cid replied by giving, to him what looked like, a half nodded, half shrug.

"Kind of."

"But. . .but," Squall stuttered, "she doesn't remember anything! She couldn't fight for herself if she were to be in danger!"

"No, she won't," Cid began, holding up his hand to calm Squall down. "This will not be a dangerous mission. I'll be very surprised if you run in to any conflict at all. This is merely a way of helping Quistis with her memory. To get her out into the field, and reacquaint her with her job, her friends. . .her life. Let's face it, she's not making any progress sitting alone in the infirmary."

Squall could feel his face burn. After last night, there was no way he could be alone with Quistis and not go crazy.

"Why me? Why do you want me to. . escort her?" Squall found it was very difficult meeting Cid's eyes. The bright lights in his office weren'tt making his hangover any better. He squinted at him, barely able to make out his blurry face.

"You're her Commander," he answered slowly. He paused for what seemed like a century. Cid seemed to be contemplating on telling him something. "And her friend," he finally added.

"My friend?"

_Yeah, and little bit more than that._

"Yes. This is your job. As her Commander, and her friend. Whether you want to admit it or not, Squall, you're Quistis's best friend. She needs you to be there for her, and not to get drunk in your free-time," Cid grunted.

_Man, let it go._

"I don't know," Squall murmured. This idea of being Quistis's pillar of strengths didn't set well on his shoulders. "What if. . ."

He couldn't say it.

"_What?_" Cid lowered his voice, eyeing Squall intently.

"Nothing," Squall said quickly. Cid's bad mood was starting to rub off on him. Cid nodded, not pressing it any further. However, that didn't ease what was on Squall's troubled mind.

_What if I mess it up? What if I end up making Quistis. . . .worse?_

"What's the mission," he asked vaguely. Cid waved his hand at the nearby chair in his office.

"Sit down, this is going to be long, while I brief you," he said as he locked his door to his office.

_**I I I**_

"_Oh, you're such a sweet guy. You don't have to give me this."_

"_I want to ."_

"_It's not that big a deal. I don't want you pampering me, or spending a fortune on me."_

"_That's not the point. You deserve it."_

" _How come you've never acted like this before?"_

"_Well. . .I suppose it is because I've never been in love before."_

"_. . . ."_

"_What I mean is, I want you to have this. It's not much. . .It's not even gold. But it's all I have to give to you."_

"_No, that's not true. You know it's not true. And I love silver. To me, it's not as flashy as gold."_

"_So, you'll take it? You'll keep it? Do. . . .do you even like it?"_

"_Yes! Of course I do. Thank you — no, stop shaking your head — thank you. This is. . .it is. . .probably the kindest thing anyone has ever given me. I never thought that I'd get one. I never thought that someone would love me enough to give me one. Thank you. . . .Why are you looking at me like that?"_

"_Because I love you."_

The dialog dashed through her memory so fast, Quistis almost didn't pay attention to it. And when she did, it was harder to remember what it had been about. She didn't know it at the time, but she would often reflect on that memory in the future. For many, many nights, she would think about the mysterious stranger she had been talking to. And, at times, wonder if it was even a real recollection at all.

"Hi Quistis," a soft voice said behind her. Quistis stopped fidgeting with her silver ring and spun around. She saw — Oh, what was his name? Oh yes, that's right — Irvine standing in the doorway. His hat tipped over his eyes.

"Oh, hello," she smiled gently at him. He seemed tense. She could tell that he wanted to be anywhere else but here. . .why?

_Probably to get away from me._

"How you doing kid?" he asked as he stepped into the room. Quistis shrugged.

"Fine, I guess."

She saw him glance around her hospital room. His eyes seemed to linger at the windows, and then on the melted candles by her bedside. For a moment, he looked sadder than anyone she had met so far.

"So, when are you leaving this depressing room?" he questioned, leaning against the wall, not bothering to take a seat.

"Today. Some guy named Cid wants to talk to me. He's the — he's the — " she racked her brain, trying to remember who they said he was. She was still trying to learning all of their names, and feeling extremely stupid in the process.

"The Headmaster," Irvine finished for her.

"Yes," she looked down, and blushed. "I knew that."

The two were quiet. The silence that surrounded them was almost painful. Quistis, not knowing what to say, gazed out the window again thinking. All the while playing with her ring subconsciously. This was awful. She was beginning to look like an idiot more and more. But it wasn't her fault, at least she tried to tell herself that it wasn't her fault. It wasn't. . .was it?

"Have you seen Squall?" Irvine asked suddenly.

_Why does it feel like I'm always talking about him?_

"Yes."

_Because I bring him up most of the time._

"What did he have to say?"

"He just told me about. . ." she flushed with sudden excitement, recalling the wonderful story he had told her the night before, "about that big adventure we all had," she smiled dreamily, wishing that she could remember.

"Is that all?" Irvine was clenching and unclenching his jaw with, what looked like, worryShifted her weight from one foot to the other nervously. Irvine's manner was bothering her, and causing her a little distress.

"Pretty much. Why?"she asked anxiously.

"He had a rough night last night. I was wondering if you could shed a little light on why he was so. . . . disquieted." Irvine folded his arms across his chest as he spoke.

"He got locked in with me last night," she admitted blushingly. "Not much else happened."

"Why was he even with you last night?" Now Quistis's face was sizzling with embarrassment. Bitting her bottom lip in discomfort, she gulped and tried to answer, hoping it wouldn't come out as bad as it sounded. . . Had she done something wrong by talking to Squall?

_Why does it feel like I'm always thinking about him?_

"He-he said he wanted to know how I was doing," she replied timidly. "I think he knew I was uncomfortable."

Irvine's mouth twitched. Quistis got the distinct impression that he knew something she didn't. And that he was refraining from telling her any information that might help her. This wasn't the first time she had felt this way. She had gotten the exact same impression from Selphie. And even, Squall, himself, last night as he informed her of her life seemed as though he were holding something back.

Secrets. Everyone seemed to have them except for her. Of course, one only has secrets when they are capable of living. Life consisted of two categories: What was seen. . . .and what wasn't. The visible, and the hidden. And Quistis knew that she must have a few secrets of her own.

_I just don't know what they are, _she thought bitterly.

Her, shedding light? More like the other way around.

"Boy, that must've been weird, huh?" he inquired in an constrained voice.

Quistis was about to respond when she stopped. Weird? She considered this, reflecting on the last night's events. True, it was a little odd that he had strolled into her room around two o'clock in the morning. And then tried to assist her by giving her a small bit of comfort and information. Yes, he had lite candles, and had gazed at her in a curiously intimate way. But the real truth was. . .was that she hadn't been bothered by it.

"No," she confessed. "It wasn't weird. It was actually quite — nice."

Perhaps it was the fact that the sun had finally revealed itself from behind those gray clouds, but Irvine looked more relaxed. His troublesome countenance lightened considerably. And his eyes gleamed with what looked like. . .hope.

"That's sounds lovely," he whispered, a shadow of a smile on his lips.

"Why are you asking me all of this?" she quizzed shrewdly. "So. . .so what if he talked to me last night? He's my – my boss, isn't he?"

Irvine nodded. His smile still turned up slightly.

"He sure is."

With that, he turned and left her to her own thoughts.

Her own, confused thoughts.

_**I I I**_

"_I can't believe you talked me into doing this," Irvine vented as he stared at Squall in his tuxedo. Somehow, that looked really didn't fit him. "I must've been crazy when you asked."_

"_Well," Squall began, a glossy glint in his eyes as he smiled with genuine excitement, "you're doing me a huge favor."_

_Irvine scoffed._

"_Yeah right," he muttered, running a dry hand through his long hair while Squall cast him an amusedstare. "You're just horny," he added under his breath._

_Squall wasn't dumb, but this was the stupidest thing he had ever done in his entire life. And that was saying something. . . ._

_Call it what you want, he was only getting married release his violent hormones. And since the roll of Squall's wife had been vetoed by Rinoa, the next best thing was, as always, Quistis. Sweet Quistis, who always tried to her best to make everyone happy. Who exceeded at everything she ever tried._

_But that aside, she was just as big an idiot as Squall. _

_Marrying Squall. Well, she must've been dancing on the moon right now. Because in a few months, she would be tangoing in Hell. That is, only after she realized why Squall had really married her in the first place._

_To forget Rinoa._

_Irvine felt a flame of pity burn deep in his stomach. His two friends where making the biggest mistake of their lives. And no matter what, they both weren't going to change their minds. He had even pulled Squall aside the night before the wedding and had tried to talk some sense into him. Telling him that one day, he'd wake up, and finally fathomed that Quistis wasn't Rinoa. That she would never be Rinoa. That he was just wishing that he could turn Quistis into Rinoa. . ._

_But, of course, he didn't listen. Plus, he had gotten a little pissed._

_Big surprise._

_And now, here he stood. With Squall by his side. Participating in the most pathetic attempt not to be alone. And the worst part was. . .there was nothing he could do to stop it._

"_Here she comes," Squall hushed quickly. _

_And so she was. _

_It wasn't anything special. She wasn't wearing a wedding dress. There was no veil. No bouquet of flowers. No large numbers of guests. Not even a stupid, traditional wedding ring. And yet, the mere sight of her made Irvine stop breathing. Bad motive for marrying aside. . .Quistis still looked gorgeous. _

_For a split second, Irvine wondered if Squall actually knew what he was doing. Since he had first heard about their engagement, Irvine almost believed that Squall really wanted Quistis to be his wife._

_Not Rinoa._

_She stood in a white blouse and cream skirt. Her appearance seemed as though she had just left a library. A small, nervous grin was playing straight across her face. And a wild red rose was tucked behind her ear as she greeted Squall. _

_The two beamed embarrassingly at each other. Nonetheless, before Irvine could wonder if the two really wanted to be together, the ceremony was over, and they were signing their marriage license quickly so they could get back to work and pretend as though nothing had happened. After all, their lunch-break was almost up._

"_Thank you," Quistis said softly to him when it was done. _

"_No problem."_

"_You will. . .you will keep it a secret, won't you?" she asked shyly_

"_It dies with me."_

_But before Irvine had turned to leave the newly wedded couple, he saw Squall place a soft kiss on Quistis's lips. Irvine rolled his eyes._

_They were so stupid._

_**I I I**_

The guilt was now eating its way into his stomach.

They really _had_ loved each other. And Irvine had been such an insensitive bastard. The short time that he could've. . ._should've_ been supportive of their relationship had passed. And now they were both exceedingly miserable.

_I'm going to Hell for sure._

Squall was subtly pining away for her. While Quistis, was probably subconsciously withering for any kind of love. Whether she knew it or not, she missed him. And by the looks of it, Squall missed her just as much.

_Maybe I should contact a few people. Perhaps they could help them. Possibly I wont' have to comfort Squall on my own. Conceivably they could help Quistis remember._

That seemed like a good idea. The best idea. The only idea that had any chance of working.

Irvine set off to contact the only other people who knew Squall. . . .other than Quistis, anyway.

_**To be continued. . . .**_

_**Note to the reviewer: First off, I need to say that I usually try to be very nice. I appreciate all of you who review. And all of you who read this story. Those really are the thing that keep me going. However, I must inform you that writing does NOT come easy to me. The time I spent writing often consists of me staring at my computer screen for fifteen minutes. . .writing a sentence. . .and then going back to staring at my screen again.**_

_**This is by far, the most frustrating chapter I have ever written. I actually toyed around with the idea to delete this story, just so I wouldn't have to deal with the pressure. I know I don't update much, but like I said before, I'm trying to make this story interesting. And I feel like if I mess up once, I'll lose all of my readers. And I've got tons of people breathing down my neck to not only finish this, but my other fics as well.**_

_**And I hate being bullied into updating. I can't produce a good chapter if I feel like I have to update just for the sake of updating. The result of me doing that is me writing a crappy chapter. Like this one.**_

_**I'm sorry. Please, please understand. I really am trying.**_

**_And I will also ask you to please refrain from using the F-word when/if you review. It's nothing personal. I don't care if you say the F-word on your own time. I don't think you're a bad person to say the F-word. But it just makes me uncomfortable. It's a religious thing._**

**_Thank you for reading this. I hope you at least partly enjoyed this terrible chapter._**


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